Raising Daughters (A Poem)

Look at you wearing that old-fashioned hockey mask

Holding a butcher knife or machete with eyes full of rage.

You may think you’re terrifying

But, I, personally, have survived a pre-teen girl who went on a rampage.

So why don’t you once again focus on teenagers

Because, if you think you’re going to scare me, don’t even bother.

You might be scary to most people.

I, on the other hand, am raising daughters.

Raising your voice in anger or growling like a wild animal

Might make you seem tough.

But, I spend my days walking on eggshells

Because you never know what will set these girls off.

Yeah, one moment they may act all sweet and innocent

And even love their dad.

Just look at them wrong, however

And, boy, do they get mad.

Also, let’s not forget the various landmines throughout the house

Whether they are naked Barbies, other toys or pieces of board games.

I really hate to say this.

But, they would make a hunter like Predator envious and put it to shame.

Not to mention the glitter that seems to be everywhere

It sticks to everything and, if it gets in your eye, it can be quite blinding

It’s as though it was designed by a mad man to be a cruel form of torture

Even on the rare occasion the kids are actually minding.

So, while you may be terrifying

And have most other people quaking in their shoes from midnight til noon

I can honestly say you have zero effect on me.

In fact, you could say, over time, I became immune.

Because anything you could do won’t be as scary as what’s underneath my own roof.

You may be some big, bad and scary monster. But, I am a father.

And, just in case you forgot,

I’m raising daughters.