Random Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

Jack Handey is a real live person. In fact he was born in San Antonio, Texas in 1949. That's about as real as it gets. He attended the University of Texas at El Paso and worked at the San Antonio Express News before he started his comedy writing career.

In the 1980s, Jack Handey worked with Steve Martin as a writer for the television movies "Steve Martin:  Comedy Is Not Pretty" and "Prime Times." Then the skies opened up and he was hired as a writer and creative consultant on Saturday Night Live. At SNL, his Deep Thoughts segments, which were introduced by Phil Hartman but which he wrote and narrated, became hits that endured for years. Jack Handey wrote for SNL from 1985 to 2002.

Source:  IMDb

In Jack Handey's world, the bizarre is normal. His Deep Thoughts are twisted and wonderful.

• "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."
• "The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part."
• "On the other hand, you have different fingers."
• "I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it."

See?

Source:  GoodReads

Jack Handey's take on life can be absurd, hilarous, and downright deep. Here are more random Deep Thoughts:

• "If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness."
• "If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy."
• "Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth."
• "I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it."

All I have to say about those little beds is who wouldn't want one?

Source:  GoodReads

Jack Handey, like him or hate him, wins the weird prize. I personally like him. His sense of humor is unique and well, it makes you think (even if what you think is 'what was he thinking?').

Here are just a few of his crazy deep thoughts that we all might have but that don't really register. They're that deep:

• "I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway."
• "There should be a detective show called 'Johnny Monkey,' because every week you could have a guy say 'I ain't gonna get caught by no MONKEY,' but then he would, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of that."
• "I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes."

Jack Handey's insight into still hitting the brakes just shows how hopeful a person he is.

Source:  GoodReads