Random Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

by PeggyHazelwood

Jack Handey is a real live person who actually wrote the Deep Thoughts quotes for SNL and was also the voice of the Deep Thoughts. Jack Handey quotes are funny and downright deep.


Jack Handey Quotes, you know, like the deep thoughts you get when looking in the rear view mirror
Jack Handey Quotes, you know, like the deep thoughts you get when looking in the rear view mirror
Peggy Hazelwood

Jack Handey

A real live person

Jack Handey is a real live person. In fact he was born in San Antonio, Texas in 1949. That's about as real as it gets. He attended the University of Texas at El Paso and worked at the San Antonio Express News before he started his comedy writing career.

In the 1980s, Jack Handey worked with Steve Martin as a writer for the television movies "Steve Martin:  Comedy Is Not Pretty" and "Prime Times." Then the skies opened up and he was hired as a writer and creative consultant on Saturday Night Live. At SNL, his Deep Thoughts segments, which were introduced by Phil Hartman but which he wrote and narrated, became hits that endured for years. Jack Handey wrote for SNL from 1985 to 2002.

Source:  IMDb

Deep Thoughts, Deeper Thoughts, and Deepest Thoughts

Grab your shovel
Deep Thoughts
Berkley Trade
$9.95  $4.33
$9.99  $3.99
Deepest Thoughts: So Deep They Squeak
$8.99  $3.82

Jack Handey Quotes

Deep Thoughts

In Jack Handey's world, the bizarre is normal. His Deep Thoughts are twisted and wonderful.

  • "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it."
  • "The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part."
  • "On the other hand, you have different fingers."
  • "I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it."


Source:  GoodReads

Do You Think Jack Handey Has Deep Thoughts?

More Random Deep Thoughts

by Jack Handey

Jack Handey's take on life can be absurd, hilarous, and downright deep. Here are more random Deep Thoughts:

  • "If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness."
  • "If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy."
  • "Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth."
  • "I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it."

All I have to say about those little beds is who wouldn't want one?

Source:  GoodReads

Beyond Deep Thoughts

To Mars and Beyond
What I'd Say to the Martians: And Oth...
$15.00  $5.30
Fuzzy Memories
Andrews McMeel Publishing
$10.95  $9.99

Some Final Deep Thoughts

Jack Handey, like him or hate him, wins the weird prize. I personally like him. His sense of humor is unique and well, it makes you think (even if what you think is 'what was he thinking?').

Here are just a few of his crazy deep thoughts that we all might have but that don't really register. They're that deep:

  • "I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway."
  • "There should be a detective show called 'Johnny Monkey,' because every week you could have a guy say 'I ain't gonna get caught by no MONKEY,' but then he would, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of that."
  • "I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes."

Jack Handey's insight into still hitting the brakes just shows how hopeful a person he is.

Source:  GoodReads

Updated: 05/17/2013, PeggyHazelwood
Thank you! Would you like to post a comment now?


PeggyHazelwood on 05/17/2013

The fridge is the perfect place to chill with some deep thoughts, man.

AnomalousArtist on 05/17/2013

Who knew? I love stuff like this, that was great, and I have some new quotes for my refrigerator now, ha ha!

PeggyHazelwood on 05/15/2013

I agree that Jack Handy may not be deep but he is hilarious!

sheilamarie on 05/14/2013

A local restaurant has the Jack Handey bum quote written on a chalk board outside. Because I don't have a TV, I didn't know who he was. Thanks for clearing up the mystery. I think he's funny in a weird kind of way, but deep? Maybe he thinks deep thoughts are odd ball.

Mira on 05/07/2013

Never knew about the guy. Pretty interesting!:) What really tickled my funny bone at this moment, for God knows what reason, was this:
"I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway."

Yeirl on 11/21/2011

I used to love Jack Handy. Not sure if he is really deep, but he was really funny!

tandemonimom on 07/07/2011

I do remember Jack Handy but not these particular one. These are FABULOUS!

poutine on 06/23/2011

I had never heard of Jack Handey before, now I know a little more.Thanks.

sandyspider on 06/11/2011

I have enjoyed his skits and random thoughts on SNL.

PeggyHazelwood on 06/08/2011

Yes, Jack Handey's weird POV is right up my alley.

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