Recipe for a Happy Cat

So maybe you have a cat, or a kitten, and you think how cute, what fun we're going to have, this is a great pet. Now, to make your cat happy you need a little attitude adjustment!

First rule of making a cat happy is to realize that they see you as a servant, a slave even, whose purpose in life is to serve them and make them happy.

The greatest failures to make a cat happy come from misunderstanding this point. In the office of the veterinarian that we visit, somewhat frequently, with our cats there's a sign that says "Dogs think they're human, cats think they're God." True, except that most cats know they're royal if not actually divine!

Third rule of making a cat happy is to provide comfort.

This "comfort" takes many forms and varies from cat to cat, as you will see with my cats. However, the bottom line is that your cat will assume that every warm, soft spot in your house is intended as a place for them to sleep. This can translate into sleeping on your bed, your couch, your lap (if you are so honored), the laundry basket (after the clothes are washed of course!), and a bunch of places you'd never have imagined.

First Rule in the don't list of having a happy cat is don't ever give your cat a bath! Cats not only resemble drowned rats when wet, they take great offense at looking like drowned rats.

In their horror at the close encounter with water, whatever the temperature, they also scratch, claw, bite, and otherwise draw blood from any hand that gets close enough. And since you have to hold them down to get them wet, the water gets pretty bloody (voice of experience!).

Now this isn't to say that cats aren't interested in water and bath tubs. They will happily climb in and try to drink any water left by the drain, or dripping from the faucet. My cats will actually ask for the faucet to be turned on so they can drink the water! 

Second Rule is don't ever give your cat a pill! You have at best one chance to not only get a pill in your cat's mouth but also to get them to swallow it. Mostly if you do get it inside those jaws bordered with sharp fangs that make up the hissing and spitting mouth, the pill usually gets spat out immediately after you let go of the cat.

If you persist, you soon wonder whether there is much medicinal value left in the soggy and dirtied thing that you've retrieved yet again from the floor, or whether greater harm will be done by forcing such an unclean thing down their throat.

And of course the whole procedure is destroying any success you were having in making your cat happy!

Third Rule is don't ever take your cat to the vet!
You see, putting your cat in a cage or box of any sort freaks them out. Then the car ride is much worse.

If you can endure the wails that come from the container long enough to reach the vet's office your cat will have shed half its coat, be shaking violently, and generally look to be on death's door.

And all you wanted was to get a shot to prevent some nasty disease!

Fifth Rule is don't ever practice music with your cat in the room!

In our house we have players of flute, trumpet, saxophone, and trombone. If a cat is unfortunate enough to be trapped in the same room as someone who begins playing one of these instruments they immediately join in with wails that increase in volume until someone rescues them.

Leo would be happy to be an indoor cat really, she loves her litter box in the winter - never sets paw on the snow unless my daughter throws her in it! Doesn't go out in the rain either. But she does like to lie out in the sun while we have tea at our picnic table when it's nice weather!

Leo remains the funniest kitten despite her advancing years. She loves to hang on the back of my chair, like a panther on a branch of a tree.

To make the Princess happy required perfect behavior, attending exactly to her needs without any error. The slightest mistake was treated with the greatest disdain, and sometimes a swat of the royal paw. Don't touch this royal creature without an invitation!

She was very fussy about what she would eat - loved salmon but not too many other kinds of fish, wanted special treats served in her special bowl, and breakfast in bed!

Our Princess was a creature of true comfort. She always found the best spot in the house and claimed it, complaining loudly if anyone tried to take it from her!

This is our "Mister" cat. He adopted us after roving around the neighborhood checking out the food sources. He continued doing that his whole life! Yes, unfortunately, we lost our beloved "Mister" in February 2012. He suffered from an overactive thyroid for 3 years, treated with medication, but finally his heart got too large and he just couldn't keep going. He wanted to be a good, happy cat though, and purred loudly at all the efforts we made to keep him happy, all the way to the end. Here are the things that made him happy:

Seems like he remembered his days of being "homeless" and often chose to sleep in a cardboard box. As you can see from this picture, he also liked to keep a supply of his favorite food, tuna, close by.

Not really a cat who went for comfort, "Mister" tended to focus on safety and the ability to escape quickly. He was well known for rushing out the back door whenever anyone approached our driveway. Of course, the back door brought him right beside any large vehicle he was trying to escape from!

One of the most important things for this "guard cat" was to allow him free access to the outside. If he was sick or injured and supposed to stay inside for a while he went crazy, just had to be able to go back outside into danger. He'd even hide in a bush during a thunderstorm rather than stay indoors.

When "Mister" cat was truly happy he would sleep on his back, paws in the air. Usually he did this on the couch, or our bed. He was known to do it in the middle of our yard though, lying on his back in the grass and watching butterflies flit around overhead. Bliss!

Tired out after his adventures, Pippin is good at getting comfortable! Quite the sweetheart when he's sleeping happily.