Companion Cube Gifts for Portal Fans

by JoHarrington

In the game Portal, the Weighted Companion Cube becomes a friend. You can have your own Aperture Science Companion Cube in real life too!

At first they are just tools. They are blocks to weigh down buttons, or drop through portals onto the heads of turrets.

Then came THAT Weighted Companion Cube. It had love-hearts in the center of all its sides, and it sang. It was your Companion Cube. You couldn't leave it behind. It became your step up to the higher reaches, and your shield down dangerous passageways.

Now you can finally take your Companion Cube home.

Official Valve Portal Weighted Companion Cube Plush

Me and my Weighted Companion Cube

Memories of my best friend in Portal, and the twists of Fate which awaited us as we journeyed through those chambers.

It was an emotional moment when I first beheld the Companion Cube.  I'd been through so much, platforming my way through puzzle rooms, reliant only upon the ingenuity of my portal placements.

I'd been so utterly alone.  Dependent for directions only upon the robotic reassurances of GlaDOS, and the writing on the wall.  That same clipped, corporate voice warned me not to get attached. 

People do get attached to inanimate objects you know.  The teddy bear industry has banked on it for generations.  But could I love a cube?

Image: Happy Days! Meeting the Companion Cube
Image: Happy Days! Meeting the Companion Cube

Yes, I really could.  GlaDOS knew I would.  Aperture Science had even left a pictogram on the floor depicting my emotional reaction.

I would carry my Weighted Companion Cube everywhere and I would love it.  The love-hearts said so and they weren't wrong. 

Yet such cruelty lay in our future.  Most of which we would defeat together, until it defeated us.  And I would fight and fight for the Companion Cube. I'd check every exit, shoot the hand-held portal device at every surface, ram the doors with all my strength.

All I wanted was to take my Companion Cube home with me.  Aperture Science had no intention of letting that happen.  There were tears in that chamber.  But I won't spoil it.  I won't say what happened next.  Those who were there know.  Those who survived to the end know more.

The Weighted Companion Cube and I know best of all.  We were there.  We saw it. We experienced it together.  My friend.

The Epic of the Companion Cube

WARNING! Major spoilers here if you haven't completed Portal 1.

Portal 2 Tin Companion Cube Lunchbox

Portal 2 Companion Cube Cookie Jar

The Cake Was a Lie

Can we really trust the information given by faceless corporations? Does GlaDOS have our best interests at heart?

Real life never felt so cold, as when I was without my Companion Cube. 

Was it really so inanimate?  It sang and spoke to me, but so do all manner of mechanized things.  Yet GlaDOS gave the clue herself.  She told me that it 'probably' didn't feel pain. It was a prop, a tool, a toy.  It was wrong to assign sentience and a personality to such a thing.

Then why 'probably'?  If there was a possibility that it might feel pain, then the Companion Cube is alive.  It was still alive, despite all that we went through.

GlaDOS lies on the subject of Companion Cubes.  She changes her story.  She does not respect them.  Test Chamber 7 will haunt me forever.  The cake was a lie.  Or did I go mad out there?  Do sane people invest so much feeling and trust in a simple box?

I did. I do.  I want my Weighted Companion Cube with me.  I want to take it home.  All of us safe and sound.  I want it with me always.

Portal Companion Cube Plush Key-Rings

Weighted Companion Cube: A Time for Heroes

We did so much. The Companion Cube and I deserved to make it out of the test chambers alive and in one piece.

There were energy balls bouncing, ready to incinerate us.  There were whole floors flooded with poison waste and toxic water.  There were fire chambers, which would have destroyed us both. There were platforms so high that only carefully placed portals saw us through.

Were you scared?  I was petrified at times.  But my Companion Cube was there.  Who can be afraid with a friend alongside? 

Portal Companion Cube Inflatable Ottoman

They say that there cannot be courage without fear first.  To do something fearlessly is not brave, as there's nothing to be brave about.  You just do it.

The Companion Cube and I were courageous. We had to trust in our wits to place the portals and fall right through them.  We had to hope we'd done enough to stay alive.

There should be statues of us in positions of honor.  Our names and faces should be up in lights.

It was a time of heroes and we were equal to it.

Taking the Companion Cube With You

This gamer employed cheats, but it's what we all wanted to see happen! WARNING! Spoilers for those who haven't completed Portal 1.

More Companion Cube Collectibles

Portal Cookie Cutters

Portal 2 Cookie Cutters Set of 8 - Officially Licensed Make cookies like Cave's Mom At Aperture Science, there's a good amount of joking amongst test subjects and occasionally, ...

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Official Valve Portal Weighted Companion Cube Fuzzies

Inspired by the classic fuzzy dice, this pair of collectible WCCs hangs around your home or workplace, providing faithful companionship throughout the day. Note: if the Weighted...

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A Crowded Coop - Portal sac isotherme Original Companion Cube

- Sac isotherme haute qualité- Modèle sous licence officielle

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Portal 2 Companion Cube Women's Briefs

These underwear look like a companion cube, which is designed to be the object of your affection while spending time at the Testing facility. You see where this is going, buy th...

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Portal Companion Cube Necklace

The Enrichment Center reminds you to keep the Weighted Companion Cube with you at all times. It will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. In the event that the...

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Portal 2 Companion Cube Gift Box

Give the gift of Valve's Portal 2 , or just wrap the gift in Portal 2 style with the Portal 2 Companion Cube Gift Box! A perfect cube at 6-inches tall x 6-inches wide x 6-inches...

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Updated: 03/18/2014, JoHarrington
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JoHarrington on 03/14/2013

I'm with you there! I want one of EVERYTHING!

Jeremy(Jyreeil) on 03/14/2013

omg that's awesome! I love portal!:)

JoHarrington on 03/14/2013

I burst out laughing when I saw that on offer! The mind well and truly boggles.

You haven't played Portal? Do it! Do it! It's on Steam (for PC) or you can get it for XBox etc.

Wournos on 03/14/2013

I haven't got the foggiest what this is yet, but at least it makes a change from all the Hello Kitty stuff. The female underwear looks funny though. :)

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