Should I get married?

I look at the issues to consider before tying the knot and getting wed.

The institution of marriage has existed for thousands of years and partnership ceremonies, in one form or another, feature in pretty much every modern human culture.

In the past, marriages were often arranged, or set up by relatives. Nowadays, people entering into marriage often have more options regarding their choice of partner and indeed, whether they marry at all. With choices come responsibility, however, and to enter into marriage seriously in most cases means making a lifelong commitment.

So for those who are asking the question: Should I get married? I have put together a collection of the main issues that should be considered.

First of all, I have listed the pros and cons of getting married, which looks at the general advantages and disadvantages.

Secondly, I have put together a list of the questions that you might want to ask of your potential partner and yourself regarding your suitability for getting married.

Pros of getting married

Married couple Seeking in the companionship of another is a basic human drive and emotional need for most people.

Marriage demonstrates an emotional and practical commitment to the relationship, hopefully creating a sense of stability and longevity for the relationship, which can also provide a firm base for raising children too.

For those with religious faith, marriage is also a way of seeking the sanctioning of the relationship by God and in the process, extending and deepening the bonds of the partnership.

Other benefits might include: financial ones such as tax breaks, a fulfilling longterm sexual relationship without the health risks of STDs, and sharing of life's responsibilities.

Cons of getting married

Lifelong fidelity is not necessarily as easy as it sounds, add to that the difficulties with finding happy compromises between partners who have their own aspirations, tastes and expectations.

Even petty squabbles and minor irritations can become causes for major conflict if they are allowed to build up.

Add to that the problems that can be caused through tensions with the new wife or husband's families, which can, unfortunately be fairly common.

Marriage ceremonies and events are also notoriously expensive affairs with the organization of them fraught.

Questions to ask before you get married

Just married Do my partner and I have the same aspirations regarding having children (or not having children)? How many children do we want? How important are children to each of us?

Do we both have the same financial aspirations, in terms of earnings and ambition, or could it become a source of conflict? Where do we expect to be in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?

What are our career intentions? How important are they to each of us? What do we expect our working hours to be? Will we work evenings? Anti-social hours?

Are there religious or cultural differences between us that might put pressure on our partnership? If we have different religious or spiritual beliefs, are they respected by our partner?

What are our respective attitudes towards health issues, such as smoking, diet, exercise? Do we play sports?

How much involvement do I expect my partner's family to have with me and our relationship? If we have children, what will the relationship be between our children and their grandparents?

Does my partner like and respect my choice of friends? What sort of social life to we expect to lead after we're married? Do we share the same social interests?