Should I Have Children or Not - The Kids Vs. No Kids Debate

by katiem2

It's common knowledge parenting is hard so why do it? The Having Kids Debate. Hear from parents about their experiences with children and becoming parents. Before you decide...

Most every parent claims they wouldn't trade being a Mom or Dad for anything in the world. What else can be said once you've become a parent? This is the worst thing ever; it's too hard, it’s robbed me of my freedom, money and future plans. Parents, well most parents, don't come right out and express how they feel about parenting in all totality. They simply don’t share their deepest darkest thoughts. Anyone expressing disappointment or dislike over their parental status would surely be judged harshly as being a bad or evil person.

Today we’ll have an open debate including polls maintaining the privacy and protection of those who participate. This will insure we get an on open and honest account of what parents really think and what advice they'd give to those who are not yet parents. Plus we give childless adults the opportunity to voice their concerns and opinions; everyone is welcome to join in the debate. To have kids or not to have kids the parental debate starts here now.

Parent or Not Parent

For the sake of this debate we first share the ratio of parents to non parents.
  Display results
This information will let you, the debater; determine the ration of parents to non-parents who are compassionate about this debate.

Planned Vs.Unplanned Parenthood

Planned vs. unplanned a significant bit of information to consider while debating parenthood.

Many pregnancies are not planned instead a surprise or unexpected. While many don't tell, mainly because they don't want their kids to think they were unwanted, it happens more so than not.

BUT after all is said and done most surprise pregnancies turn out very well.  

Just as some parents don’t want to know whether their baby is a boy or girl many want the same surprise about being pregnant. This is a sort of let nature take its course mentality. 

To recap, there are those who plan, let nature take its course and those completely taken back as they did not intend to become parents. This factor may reveal its self as result of this pole. Let's see about that.

No Plans to Become Parents

A lot of people who planned on remaining childless find themselves becoming parents after all.

There are parents who state they never planned to have kids and yet surprise they did, committing fully to their new found parenting role.

How do these cases play out?

Do these parents go on to be glad they had kids?

Let's face it there are countless children in bad situations with parents who could care less about them. It's highly unlikely any such people will end up here. But if you do please feel free to contribute. It's impossible for everyone to want kids or even be good parents.

Those of us who become parents find it to be a journey of exploration and learning. Most of us find we want to be better parents than our own parents were. We take it as a sort of challenge working very hard to excel at it becoming great parents.  

Most parents confess they learn more along the way than they knew from the start. Parenting is a growing experience for both parents and children. 


Planned or Unplanned Children

For those parents out there did you plan to have the kids you have now or was it unplanned?

Never Want Kids

Please share with us if you never wanted kids and how that's working out for you.

The Pressure to Have Kids

Many parents strongly recommend those without children have them, is this good honest advice?

Do you feel many parents strongly urge those without kids to have kids when they should keep their opinions to themselves? 

Is it okay to pressure others to have kids for any reason at all?

Do parents and grandparents have the right to pressure their children or grandchildren to have kids?

Once you stop and think about all the undo pressure put on those without kids it seems wrong. After all parenting is some serious business.

Furthermore imagine couples who become parents together when one or the other expressed repeatedly they did not want kids. This raises the issue of forced parenting.  Is it a problem for one to be unwittingly made a parent or is it even possible? 

Parenting Trap

Do you know someone who was trapped into becoming a parent?

Why You Shouldn't Have Kids

While many tell those without kids they should have them the reasons supporting this statement are fewer than those opposing it.

The reason not to have kids seems more abundant than the reasons to have kids. Those of us without kids are often asked why you don’t have kids. When are you having kids?  

Opinions on Parenting

Why others freely offer their parenting opinions.

Do these parents want everyone to get in on this great thing or is it that misery loves company?

The opinions of others are overwhelming and even more so their belief they should impose them on childless people. 

First 40 Years of Parenthood are Always the Hardest Funny Poster Print
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Below we explore some of the reasons you should not become a parent regardless of what other parents say. First and foremost you should never be made to feel you should have children when you honestly never wanted to become a parent. There is nothing wrong with opting out of parenthood.

Recommending Parenting

This poll will show the number of parents who would and those who wouldn't recommend having kids to those without kids.

No, you shouldn't have kids because...
Kim on 01/22/2013

I don't want kids and feel anyone like me should not have kids. I want to learn, advance in my career and travel the world.

teddletonmr on 12/07/2012

I have a yes no answer so I'll put it in the no column. If you want kids you know it and if you don't you know it as well. Everyone should follow their personal desires as parenting is hard. It's great for those who want kids as they don't resent the difficulty of parenting but those who were on the fence and had them often resent parenting.

Yes, you should have kids because...
dustytoes on 12/05/2012

I really would not recommend being a parent to anyone because everyone has to do what they feel is right, but I always thought I would grow old with someone and now all I have is my kids. If not for them I would be lost. But, I always wanted kids anyway - not just to keep me busy later in life!

Why You Shouldn't Become a Parent

Why You Shouldn't Have Kids or Consider It!

1. If you doubt having kids is right for you follow your gut.

While some doubt is normal, a strong doubt should be heeded don't let others persuade you.

Note: "Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still" unknown

2. If you love work more than anything and want to continually excel at your career.

Parenting interferes with work even if you are a working parent. While you can do both there is no need to feel you should unless you're certain.

3. You love spending money on yourself, traveling, partying enjoying your freedom.

A lot of money and time goes into raising and caring for children usually limiting your options. It takes two parents to raise a child, while often not the case, it would be optimal for both parents to be involved in their child's life.

4. You are a loner and not very fond of people in general.

Parenting means you will be involved with a lot of people you otherwise would not throughout the child's education and rearing. If you're anti-social parenting is probably not going to change this about you.

5. If you plan to become a parent even against the will and desire of your partner. 

It takes two people to become a parent and yet it should never be entered into with someone clearly stating they do not want kids. It's wrong for a person to make another a parent by trickery or dishonesty. This creates a hostile environment for the child.

Childless Adults

Taking part in this poll helps others to understand the desire to remain without children.

Frustrated Parents

The highs and lows of parenting are many and yet there are times when the most patient of parents lose their temper.

Have you ever been so exasperated with your child that you made the comment, "Don't ever have kids". Many parents have said those very words over and over as they become very frustrated with the challenges of parenting.  What impact does this have on the child hearing it?

Parents Rant and Rave

How do you think telling a child don't ever have kids impacts them now and later in life?

How Hard is Parenting?

On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the easiest and 10 being the hardest, which number best describes how hard it is to be a parent?

The Benefits of Having Kids

There are many benefits to having kids.

Okay you're still here, that means you didn't run off mumbling, I don't want kids, I don't want kids! This is a very good sign of your tolerance, which you must have in order to be an effective and sane parent.

You no doubt want to have kids. Maybe you grew up in a large family and feel most comfortable being part of a group. Maybe you grew up an only child and no longer want to face life alone.

The fact of the matter is we parents love our children and for the most part wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.  It gets difficult at times and yet anything worth wild usually does. 

Updated: 01/08/2013, katiem2
Thank you! Would you like to post a comment now?

What do you think? Share what you think are the benefits and disadvantages of having children in the section below.

katiem2 on 08/15/2013

Carolan, I know many others like yourself, it can go either way it's hard to say just how thanks for sharing.

katiem2 on 08/15/2013

Carolan, I know many others like yourself, it can go either way it's hard to say just how thanks for sharing.

Carolan on 08/13/2013

Having kids turned out to be a heartbreak for me. Turned my entire life upside down and later regretted it.

katiem2 on 01/09/2013

Supermom, I have to agree with you on all counts.

supermom_in_ny on 01/09/2013

Kids may keep one broke and exhausted, but they are soooo much fun! I love my kids!!!!!

katiem2 on 01/09/2013

Supermom, It's so nice to hear from you and what a great story. You no doubt will be an inspiration to many on the fence. I too never wanted kids and well it happened and I too am a very happy Mom of two wonderful girls.

supermom_in_ny on 01/09/2013

Great ready for this! I hated kids. Called them rugrats. Then my 16 yr old sister had a baby and it was love at first sight. I had an unplanned pregnancy, got married, adopted my niece, had three more and became a single parent. Then I met the love of my life, had another one and raised his son. That's 7 kids! I LOVE my kids and it hasn't been easy. My youngest has autism. I had a child with ODD, ADD and OCD. I also had three asthmatic kids. One of my kids was born with bacterial meningitis. They are all healthy now. Four are adults now, I have 3 left at home. If I had to do it all over again, I would. NEVER A DULL MOMENT!

My little sister and her husband chose to not have kids. They are very happy. I respect their decision. It was the best for them. My sister was diagnosed with MS. They love my kids like their own. When they spend time around my busy life, they never regret their decision! LOL!

Everyone should so what's best for them. There is no right or wrong choice. Loved this article. Thumbs up!

katiem2 on 12/17/2012

Brenda, Very interesting points! You're brother is such a mindful and caring person to make such a choice. Your son, my daughter who is now sixteen says the same thing. She is very driven and I tell her you never have to be a parent, either way do whats right for you and if you have no kids that leaves more MOM time for me! I agree it is great that we now have a choice. :)

katiem2 on 12/17/2012

Arlene, lol I often times feel like the most impatient parent on the face of the planet only to hear I'm a great MOM! I get what you're saying. I never ever dreamed of nor planned to be a parent as I was married to and in love with my career. BUT never say never was the order for me and it's working out just fine. Once I had my first daughter I planned the second as I didn't want her to be an only child. :)

BrendaReeves on 12/14/2012

When my children were young, I would tell myself this is the best time of my life. I still believe that. I would love to do it all over again. My youngest son told me when he was just 15 that he never wanted to have children. He said they cost too much and make a mess. lol! He is married now, but when he was dating he stayed away from girls that knew they wanted children. My brother chose not to have children, because he knew, as an abused child, he would also be an abusive parent. Thank God that people now have a choice. It's only recently in history that they have.

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