Obsessive and controlling people can be difficult to interact with. Many people suffer from personality disorders with a large number of them never addressing the issue. They learn to compensate in a way that hides their behavioral challenges commonly observing and mimicking the relationship behavior of others.
This sets them up to appear wonderful when first meeting and getting to know others. The problem being those who copycat human behavior don't actually feel empathy for others. They are hyper sensitive to their own feelings and desires later displaying narcissistic behavior.
This makes it very difficult for them to interact with others in an intimate or nurturing manner. This reality creates many a painful and defining moment in the lives of others. Take heed to be careful and deliberate when really getting to know someone.
The Obsessive Person - How to Avoid or Getaway From a Controlling Obsessive Person Chat
katiem2, Did your children see any of this, or was he one way with you (and probably your friends) and another with the kids?
Lilysnape, The intense and troubled insights into a bad time in my life.
Some very interesting points to think about
John, I appreciate the addition of your personal experiences it is helpful to others as they evaluate their own relationships. :)K
I dated a chic like this she seemed perfect till I committed to the relationship and then I saw her true colors. It was one of the worse experiences of my life. The idea to avoid such people in the first place is brilliant and the only way I will ever engage in a relationship again EVER. These people are out there and are just as you described.
This has made for some very interesting conversation. Mike I heard that too, can't remember where I think on the news. Thanks
Very interesting points made here. I read some where that there are more narcissistic people in the young adults sector of our society than ever.
Miaden, It's always good to hear from you. As you noted this article points to the issue of control and how it relates to many emotional and mental disorders further more the need or desire to control others is never healthy, we should embrace one another for the individual freedom and expressions of oneself finding balance with others who share our similar interest and convictions. I in no way feel you to be controlling a bit of a careful perfectionist maybe but in a good way as you are someone who is thoughtful of quality. Thanks for adding to this conversation as every thought process brings more understanding and awareness to those who need it. :)
Your insights and studies of the personality types you've mentioned is very interesting I do look forward to reading it.
I'm to this day not certain as to what exactly was the mental issue with the person I was involved with, he was very good at acting, as they learn to do once they begin to realize the vast difference between them and society as a whole. I know him to be a narcissist and maybe more and yet he always refused and rejected treatment or therapy of any kind as it would point out his issues, something he guarded with his life as if anyone catching on to him would be the ultimate failure, the worst thing that could happen. This is a very interesting area of study. I do admit to being curious as to why those like this are as they are, it's such a crazy twisted bit of science. Again, I look forward to your articles on this topic.
I was thinking about writing an article about psychopaths and sociopaths for a long time now. Somehow, I can't find the needed time for that. But when I do finish it, I will point to your article, since a lot of psychopaths i see in the disorders you are writing about.
But, now, somehow I feel uncomfortable to say that I have a mild obsessive compulsive disorder. :D
I wouldn't agree that we fit into this frame. Am I being controlling right now? :) Just kidding, but I know this article is not about OCPD, so I will leave it aside.
About sociopaths of any kind, any treatment is questionable. in my honest opinion, there is no adequate treatment. Medications and psychotherapy is just not good enough at this point. I will let anyone to correct me if I am wrong. But, I am in contact with some of those. I even worked with small group of sociopaths as a part of one research, and i have that feeling that they are just really though nuts.
Maybe, it is the only hope to prevent someone to become a SP. Roots of this disorder is in family (dysfunctional family).
It is wrong to believe that they cannot love anyone. That is truth for psychopaths, but not the sociopaths. They have feelings, but that is their problem: they feel in the wrong way.
Narcissistic persons, well, they can become real trouble. We see them everywhere, but somehow we rarely can guess how hard it could be to live with those. For those living with narcissistic persons, there is a whole palette of problems they can encounter. I have been talking with few "victims", and what they said baffled me. it was not beating, controlling, discouraging or other types of abuse that hurt them the most. it was the fact that no one (neighbors, friends, family) didn't believe them when they would ask for help.
What is tricky there is that narcissistic persons put a lot of effort to show themselves in the best light to strangers. So, no one can imagine what they are capable of.
I am sorry to see that you were in such relationship, but it is good to have you to write about it. i guess who doesn't feel it, can't talk about it.
I agree with you Katie, shrinks and therapist have no idea what these people are like in the real world, or well yes they no doubt run into them as well. These people are so difficult to work with and often slow down the entire process as they want to have things their way, very immature or so it seems.