Things Your Dog Would Want You to Keep in Mind

by martianmaggie

Important things to keep in mind if you want your dog to be happy, healthy, make you good company, run around, hump your leg and basically live the life a dog deserves.

If you treat your dog right, it will think of you as a god and never leave your side. That's the whole point of having a dog, right? I mean, we found out a long time ago that it doesn't really work like that when you have children so we moved on to more loyal species.
Surely, to truly know your dog get familiar with the kind, unlike this individual right here, who was honestly ponedring whether canines have actual brains or not:

A dog's head, mainly for food storage..
A dog's head, mainly for food storage..
One thing it's true, it really is tough sometimes to tell if someone has a brain.
One thing it's true, it really is tou...

  Do you own a dog?

o) Yes o) No

Yes? Well, it was a trick question, cause you don't actually own dogs, you take care of them. You failed. It's okay, try again.

Do you want your dog to be happy?

o) Yes o) No

No?, see this:





If you do, however, you should know these ten things:



Since you probably own a dog already, it's no news to you that they are needy. 

Dogs are like your best friend who got way too drunk at a party- you need to watch them not to do anything stupid all the time, pet their hair and clean up after them. But of course if at some point a stranger runs at you with a knife you can rely on them to chew their leg off. 

Wait, that doesn't really apply to the best friend scenario..   

Unless your best friend is this guy:
Unless your best friend is this guy:

   Take your dog outside as often as possible. We cannot stress this enough.

For you, it might be the best thing ever to go home, wear your sweatpants and make pizza stains on everything, but for your dog nothing can compare to all the smells and noises outside. Not only taking it out for walks is essential, however. It's very healthy for a dog to see something else than the area around your local supermarket. If you own a car (now this is something that you actually own), try to take your pet with you when you go on a trip. Even if it ends up as only a car ride, for sure the dog would love any opportunity to put his lovely smell and saliva extracts on as much surface as possible.

Sometimes you need to be the eyes and ears of your dog, not the other way around, because they can be surprisingly.. 




Not to sound too much like a conspiracy theorist, but.. They're lying to us!
But seriously, it's true that there is an unreasonably big difference in prices between healthy food and food, that might end up giving you cancer. The same thing applies for quality dog food (which, by the way, might end up getting your dog addicted to the point it won't eat anything else) and cheap one.
No matter how much you wish to save up money, please don't feed your dog low quality dry food! Here's an article that might scare the crap out of you.
It's entirely possible to feed your dog home-made meals and still fit in your budget. You can boil meat (chicken livers and hearts can be easily found in surprisingly low prices) and even add from time to time "human foods" to make the bill even smaller, while keeping the dog healthy & happy. Rice, for example, happens to be very beneficial for the fur and is good when a dog has an upset stomach.

Actually, rice is amazing and you should probably eat more rice yourself.

Oh, and on final notice, gum should never be on your dog's menu because this might happen:  

Could it, though?
Could it, though?


You probably don't even know how to perform that on humans, you should probably learn to right after this. It works for a really sleazy pick up line “Hey I'm learning how to do CPR in case I need to save someone's life someday. Mind if I practice on you?”. Jeez, the dog died already, while we were chit-chatting. Here is what you do:

Check for vitals first

In the meantime, have someone else call the veterinarian

No breathing: Start artificial respiration. First order of business is to make sure the airway is not obstructed- clean any blood there might be on the nose, take the tongue out. Don't do CPR until you are positive the airway is not blocked.

Then, put your hand under its chin, closing the mouth and cupping his nose

 Exhale into its nose every 5 seconds

 Continue until you succeed and the dog starts breathing

 No pulse:

If you have a normal sized to large dog, put it on its right side.

If it's a smaller one, place both hands' thumbs and forefingers around the chest.

The heart is located right behind the front legs.

Compress chest once every second

Simultaniously exhale into the nose every 6 seconds

Sound too complicated? Here's a life-saving infographic.  

Skin & Hair Treatment

Dogs are kind of repetitive creatures, you won't see them change their habits that much.Like the habit of who not to bark at, when not to bark at all, where to walk, what a moving car looks like. No, the bad ones will stay.

dog chewing car registration number

Scratching is one of the more frustrating ways a dog can drive you crazy, but sometimes there is a reason behind it.

A common one is a flea infestation, which usually affects not just the dog, but also your surroundings and possibly you while not paying attention at night. Treating the dog itself might not always be enough as an efficient measure, sometimes you might have to hire pest experts.

You also need to be aware for any abnormalities on the skin, so check regularly. Sometimes dogs can get fungus which looks like red pimples, usually on the back, neck and feet. It's easily treated, but if it's not quickly taken care of it becomes impossible for your puppy to stop scratching itself.

However, there is virtually nothing you can do to stop the dog from licking its privates. Ever.



It might be hard to imagine but one of the biggest joys in your dog's life is.. smelling butts. Apparently it's really educational too, because from the smell of a butt they know whether they are going to try to rip them to shreds or become best friends forever.

With the risk of sounding creepy, you need to supply your dog with lots of butts. To smell, that is. There is a big chance that the meeting will not go very well, but it's always less scary than it looks. They are social creatures, just like we are, and there is nothing sadder than a dog by itself all the time.
Seriously, do you want a little peak at how much dogs need company? Beware, you might end up weeping like a little girl..Who broke her leg.. At her pet's funeral..While having gum in her hair..Long story short, it's pretty sad.  




    Did you see that? Stop being such a little bitch, am I right?

On a serious note, if you go about it the right way- introducing your dog to other animals, people, new environments, it will eventually learn not to overreact in unknown situations. Because when someone has bone-crushing teeth, you usually want them to remain calm most of the time.

I mean, they can be too calm at times..

dog pretending to catch a ball

And now I'll leave you with a short list of good advice:


  1. Always watch your body language and intonation when communicating with a dog, not your words.
  2. Don't overreact about every little problem you see.
  3. Don't treat your dog like a human baby.
  4. Love your dog because you might one day   be Youtube famous and make money because of it.
Updated: 02/17/2015, martianmaggie
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katiem2 on 03/07/2015

Great article, loved it! I agree with the food and getting our furry friends out of the HOUSE alot but never ever leave them out all the time... They run my house, my tree dogs that is. I love them SO much. My daughter rescues pits and so we have 3, great dogs. I also feel strongly about feeding them good food, we feed our dogs Blue and it is amazing, 60$ a bad but great for the puppies coat, bones and over all health and well being. Great to have you here, welcome. :)

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