What Makes a Man Wear Women's Flats?

by katiem2

Read a copy of a real-life interview with a man who wears women's flats. Learn what it is about women's shoes that attract men, where he buys them and when he wears them in public.

There are those of us who have a love affair with shoes, both men and women while there are those who could care less. This article is not for the latter of the two. I recently asked one of my male readers who happens to love wearing women's flats for an interview. Much to my delight, he accepted. You can read the details as to how this man came to love women's shoes, where he buys them and when he wears them. Enjoy as you learn the truth about men who wear women's ballet flats. I'd like to thank him for this interview it was a delight. I learned a lot and know the readers will as well. The pictures included are contributions of the man I interviewed. Enjoy!

What Is a Ballet Shoe?

The types of ballet shoes men wear are those without a heel.

Let's understand the meaning of the shoe we're discussing here today. This interview covers ballet flats. I begin by asking the man I'm interviewing to describe the type of shoe to which he will be referring. Below you see a few shoes from his collection. 

Question - You reference ballet flats in this interview, what do you consider to be a ballet flat.

Answer - Ballet flats to me are those cute shoes with no heel at all. Basically just the sole. So a ballet flat gives you no added height. They are also open and expose most of the top of the foot. Some show toe cleavage and some don't but you must be able to see basically all the top of the foot. Ballet flats can be any color, any material but most of all cute and feminine looking. Ballet flats often have bows or some other decoration on the toe part. For example, my Tory Burch Revas have the TB medallion on them.


This Man Has Good Taste!


Do You Notice the Shoe's People Wear?

There are those of us who notice a persons shoes while others never do. which are you?
  Display results
If you notices others shoes you no doubt are a shoe lover, if you don't notice other peoples shoes you probably aren't a shoe addict.

Why Do You Wear Women's Shoes?

What could possibly make a man want to wear women's flats?

Question - What do you think makes a man love buying and wearing women's shoes?

Answer - Maybe the same could be said about women. What could possibly make women wear men's work boots as an article of fashion and not for work? "Could it be we are both one sex or the other turned inside out?" 

Could it be society has assigned gender to articles of fashion but the lines are being crossed? When it comes to women and their shoes some people say they are out of control. How many pairs is enough? How many pairs of black shoes or flats do you need? What part of the brain makes women like this? And if we are both on gender are there men whose brains are like this? Shoe guys?


Who are Shoe Guys?

Men of all kinds enjoy wearing women's ballet flats.

Question - What do you mean by the term shoe guy?

Answer - ( I have a few friends that are shoe guys, they talk about the awesome pair of men's shoes they bought or how comfy they are or sometimes even the price. But they are referring to men's shoes)

What if there is a part of the male brain that likes shoes the way women do? There are thousands of guys out there like this, BUT how many guys would actually buy themselves women's shoes or flats?

( For me I've always liked feminine women's shoes. I would see a women's wearing a cute pair of flats and think - WOW those look great on her, I wish I had a pair too. If they were OMG those are cute and I really want a pair, I would search for a store that sold them and then go buy myself a pair. Of course, after I bought myself pair could I wear them out in public???)

When a woman buys a pair of men's shoes or an article of men's clothing she can't wait to go out and show her friends as well as show it off in public. Is the reverse true for men??? In the past few years, the reverse is slowly happening. "Men/people need to get over themselves and love what they love, who they love and love life to the fullest" So yes men are wearing ballet flats


What Attracts Men to Woman's Shoes

This mans history of wearing ballet flats

Question - When did you first become attracted to women's shoes?

Answer -   In 2005 I went to a Nine West store, pick out a pair of flats I saw a few weeks earlier, asked for my size, and ended up trying them on in the store. The salesgirl was awesome and I ended up buying them. I was too afraid to wear them in public very much. In 2007 I went on a trip by myself and wore my flats in public most of the trip. 

That was nerve-wracking but I did end up buying a couple more pairs. As time went by and with the help of the internet I learned there were quite a few guys that also wore ballet flats so I was not alone and my desire to wear flats grew. So things carried on, I'd see a woman wearing a pair I liked and most often get myself the same shoes. My big break came in 2009. One of the sale girls and I sorta became close friends. This was great since she knew and didn't care that I wear "women's" shoes. I asked her about her Michael Kors flats one day. Next thing I know she was asking me if I bought a pair yet! Next thing I know I had 5 pairs. We talked openly about ballet flats and what we liked. One day I mentioned I LOVE the Tory Burch flats but have never found a store that sold them. She told me on my upcoming vacation where I could get a pair. Now I'm up to ....Too many pairs of Tory flats)


The Reasons Men Wear Ballet Flats

A guy might wear ballet flats for many reasons, anything from being a former ballet dancer to wearing them since they are the only comfortable shoes that fits.

Question - Being a man who enjoys buying and wearing ballet flats and knowing other men who do as well can you offer some insights as to why you think men wear ballet flats. 

Answer - A guy might wear ballet flats for many reasons, anything from being a former ballet dancer to wearing them since they are the only comfortable shoes that fit their foot and EVERYTHING in between. 

A man wearing ballet flats doesn't determine his sexual identity although in people's minds it might. If a woman wears work boots is she a lesbian? She may or may not be but wearing work boots isn't what determines all personal preferences. She might just like looking a bit more masculine sometimes or perhaps it is purely for function. The same thing for guys, wearing ballet flats doesn't determine if you a gay or straight. Often it's just his own fashion freedom or expression. And let's face it ballet flats are pretty cute.


Wearing Women's Shoes in Public

What it's like for a guy to wear women's ballet flats in public.

(As a guy that wears flats in public I do receive lots of different reactions. I'm OK with people's reactions since it is something a bit different. Anything from "look at that guy, he's wearing ballet flats, giggle" or "finger pointing" or even complements. 

I bet I could write a book on some of the more interesting reactions, haha.) Other than high heels, ballet flats are very feminine looking shoes and shoe manufacturers have stayed away from making them for men. 

But there are lots of men who own a pair or wear them so it's very likely they have ventured over to the women's section of the store to get a pair. It can be very nerve-wracking for a guy to try a pair on in a women's shoe store but it does happen.

(I'm a perfect example of that. I always try them on in the store to make sure they fit. After years of just buying them, trying them on at home, and finding out they don't fit then returning them I now avoid that hassle. Most salespeople are great and some even kinda like to see a guy step outside the gender barriers)



Ballet Flats In Large Sizes

This Tory Burch Eddie Leather & Crystal Bow Ballet Flats is My Next Dream Shoe and it's available in my size, a ladies 10

Where to Find Ballet Flats Sizes for Men

There are a few great places to buy quality fashion ballet flats in larger sizes some men and women find difficult to find.

The List of Quality Retailers Offering Larger Size Flats for Men or Women 

Nordstroms - Has the largest selection of Tory Burch in sizes up to 13

Saks Fifth Avenue - Where I found my dream shoe above in sizes up to 10

Ralph Lauren- I found adorable yet simple flats with nothing on them here up to 11


Tory Burch Flats


Tory Burch Available in All Colors

Great Womens Flat for Men

Tory Burch

Flat #1

Tory Burch

Flat #2

Which Flat do You Prefer?

If you could pick only one pair which Tory Burch flat would you chose?
Only logged-in users are allowed to comment. Login
I'd pick shoe #2
DerdriuMarriner on 08/21/2018

It makes me think of penny loafers!

v on 09/05/2017


Anonymous on 07/09/2017

I like the color of the first pair but prefer a sole like the 2nd one. I wish it were accepted for men to wear flats. I know it will never happen in my lifetime though.

Matt on 03/25/2017

flat number two would be a shoe that i would wear

John on 02/05/2016

I love shoes that are patented and not having decorations from the sides.

leon on 11/26/2015

I all so love ballet flat they are comfortable shoes and light on the feet

vinsy on 09/16/2015


I love to wear flats as well, can you recomend me some shoes which i can wear on male attire and never get recognized i am wearing women shoes ?

Jeff on 08/24/2015

Love the look of the second one.I don't like the black or the first one.

Bob on 04/28/2015

I don't, personally, care for the "flats". I would rather a pair of strappy sandals.
I like to show off my toes, so I go for the "summer shoes". Anything comfortable, and open is good, since my cva has caused me so much foot trouble.

David on 10/12/2014

Probably No. 2. Not big on quilting, tho, and I prefer pointed-toe ballet flats. I wear them all the time. I do have one pair of Tory Burch Revas. Like Kate Spade, too.

I'd pick shoe #1 the Serena by Tory Burch
Janet21 on 12/02/2020

What a unique page!

katiem2 on 05/18/2018

anonymous, Matt, John, Leon, Vinsy, Jeff, Bob, David, Gary, Great to hear from you all, I feel men can wear women's flats now, wear them and act yourself.

The_Blackrose on 09/27/2017

Neither. I don't wear "women's" ballet flats. I wear ballet slippers, the real ones like the dancers wear. "The essence of the ballet flat has existed since at least the 16th century, when men wore a similar shoe, then known as pompes. In medieval times ballet flats were popular with both men and women." So I resent ballet flats or ballet slippers being called women's shoes.
Even as a child I thought ballet slippers looked very cool on males. Look at the men who wore them: Jack LaLanne, The Riddler from Batman, Rock bands like The Undead from phantom of the paradise, Freddy Mercury, and many others.
I think it great that, if they want, for a men to wear ballet flats but don't limit Me to Tory Burch flat - I wear ballet slippers.
(I did pick one as I was unable to post if I didn't and I wanted to state My case.)

Barry on 08/03/2017

I prefer #1 over #2, but I prefer a more structured shoe. I own over 75 pairs of ballet flats and about 60 pairs of 4-5 inch high heels. I wear the flats all the time at home and my wife doesn't mind. She gets freaked out when I wear the heels, though. I can wear 5" heels better than my wife can wear 3" - I think she's jealous. Christian Louboutin is my favorite (34 pairs) -also have Valentino, Jimmy Choo, Giuseppe Zanotti, etc. I don't care for Tory Burch styles. Never wear them in public though --- not enough nerve. I wish I could, but don't think I ever will.

Antonymous on 05/03/2017

I'd say #1, but they are not my favourite kind of flats on women and that similarly goes to a man. This said I'd say introduce this man into Visual kei, it would open a can of possibilities to him :). As currently the rest of his look (not all but most of them, especially the face) is too "square" to match the flats. My view, is that us guys should propose a more expressive and highlighting style, which better or differently highlights our body, depending on our taste. This of course includes grooming more than average, but with or without beard, as for example goths often wear a beard along with makeup, a beard which often looks part of the makeup, as it's defined. And that's an example of a richer style.
Why, afterall, most of what men wear has become "casual", with an equivalent femae version? Because even typicall male clothes are taylored to the female body. The other reason is that it's considered more plain, but part of it is also mysogyny, a woman with a "masculine" look, might be perceived as aquiring more power and the inverse for a man, a more creative and flamboyant look as less reliable, more quirky and lunatic, which is how the women have been and still are, in some circles, perceived for long time. Of course the "crossdressing" woman, although more frequent and accepted suffer a different and inverse type of backlash.
Also, becaues of projection, it might be perceived like a fetish, especially in this case, as he specifically wears flats, but I think that's ingenerous.

Dajanero on 04/25/2017

Ballet flats are actually the best for my personal combat training. I get mine at Wal-Mart usually

mad on 02/26/2017


Barry WAtkins on 11/16/2016

I love ballet flats . My favorite is travel foldable ballet flats. I wear silver,black,red and white. Guys try the silky toes side kicks and backup soles. They are inexpensive and very comfortable. Comes with a pouch to carry them in.

Leo on 11/17/2015

I think the reason is cause women have way better shoes. You don't even have to wear socks. The top of your feet will fell nice and you don't have to go through wearing socks. If you wear socks in tennis shoes they will smell. In fact most flats don't have a cloth sole. Thus they are easy to clean and don't smell. However shoes like tom's will smell

Leonardo on 01/31/2015

Shoe #1

A Special Thanks

I'd like to give a special thanks to the male reader who made this interview and hopefully awareness possible.

I've grown very fond of him, his class, and his open nature. I appreciate his insights and hope they help others be themselves and wear what makes them feel good without the worry of criticism. You see dear friends we all experience it. Don't think there is anything wrong with your choice of hair, clothes or shoes. If it speaks to you answer. The problem is not with us, yet is twofold; We should express ourselves and ignore the negative. Life is a gift and it is perishable, Katie

"B", Thanks again for this opportunity it has been so fun working with you and sharing our ideas.


Brian's New Yet Long Awaited Tory Flats

They are so beautiful...
Tory Flatstory flats
tory flats

Bri Wearing Flats in Style

Bri in Fall Flat Fashions
Bri in Fall Flat Fashions
Gorgeous in Green
Gorgeous in Green
Perfection in Neutral
Perfection in Neutral
Functional Outdoor Flats
Functional Outdoor Flats
A Day at the Mall
A Day at the Mall

A Man's Photo Fashion Gallery How to Wear Flats

Bri's Flats
Bri's Flats
Gorgeous Pink Flats
Gorgeous Pink Flats
A Day Out in Flats
A Day Out in Flats

Comments Section

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Updated: 12/07/2020, katiem2

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