The first time a person falls in love will top the chart of life’s most overwhelming experiences. The first love is also a pivotal moment altering a person for the rest of their lives. The best way to handle a sudden case of love is to approach it with an opened mind and a willingness to explore it together. This will always land you, the parent, in a favorable and supportive position, one both you and your teen want and need! Note: It can help to know the language. What does crushing mean, teens often use the expression crushing to express intense feelings for someone they're romantically interested in. It is their way of saying falling for someone or in love.
When Teens Fall in Love - Young Love First Love
Worried your teen is falling in love or has a crush and how it will effect them? Learn the best steps to take when your teen falls in love, or is crushing on another.
When Teens Fall in Love
Love is a very powerful emotion and there’s no denying your son or daughter will land smack dab in the middle of it one day. What you do and how your react may set the tone for all future relationships your son or daughter will experience. This also will greatly impact the relationship between you and your child.
Does Teen Love Last?
Crushing or Falling In Love
Give Teens Space - Giving your young adult the freedom to experience their first love on their own terms allows your child to learn first hand creating teachable moments. Letting them take charge and be responsible as this opens their eyes to the truth. Coming to the truth by way of their own experience guides them to consider love isn't always all it's cracked up to be.
How Parents Can Help Teens in Love
Parents are key when it comes to helping teens deal with first love, young love, they help teens deal with their first love.
When your child comes home in love, stop, take a deep breath and remain quite. This is one of the most vital times to practice good listening skills. Admit that you've made a few mistakes in this department and that your confident they will handle it just fine. Play dumb and let your child fill you in on the ways of todays modern love.
Young love often occurs unexpected and yet kids fall in love regardless of your level of preparedness. Despite what you think you know, never ever dispute the love and emotions of your child, teen or young adult. You’ve raised a loving and caring adolescent and now everything they've learned goes into practice with or without your support or involvement!
Why do this you ask?
Because your kid no doubt already thinks you've made some mistakes, they live with you after all. The last thing they want is to hear you preach on yet another topic as if an expert. This is a big moment in their life, so let it be just that, theirs!
Every person falling in love always feels as though their experience is different and unique. You gain so much by letting them teach you about their exerience. This requires you keep your ideas, thoughts and opinions to yourself until your teen is done talking, let them get it all out.
How to Get Your Teen to Talk
Your teen needs someone to talk about when it comes to love and matters of the heart, there is no reason this person cannot be you.
This better prepares them to explore the idea that love is an adventure, an exploration to learn more about others and how they may or may not fit into their lives.
Love is in fact a growing role which does not always include a death do us part act.
Never push your son or daughter into a corner distracting them from their clarity in the relationship.
Being in love takes all the clarity any teen can muster, not to mention we adults as well.
This prompts your teen to be more receptive to change if and when it occurs.
For example taking a break, breaking up or taking it slow. Without your constant input and advice they take ownership and are less likely to do something stupid out of defiance over a silly power struggle with you!
How to Connect to Your Teen
Once teens become closely involved with the opposite sex you should work to cultivate and maintain your relationship with them.
If your child ask what you think about this person you would do good to say, “I don’t know them so it's not fair for me to say, I depend on you to tell me because I trust your judgment and value your opinion first”. This may be the smartest move a parent can make as now your child proceeds to tell you about them. As your son or daughter hears themselves describing this person they are faced with the reality of this person in their own words.
Explore Your Teens World With an Open Mind
This clears the head for better observations of the facts without clouding the issue with conflict from you. Always remember someone convinced against their will is of the same opinion still. The goal is for your teen to see this person with open eyes and leave them open as they progress in the relationshiop. This growing brilliant young person will see them more clearly without a defensive edge if you had otherwise made your opinions known.
Plus it opens a door of communication as your willing to listen with an open and non judgmental mind! How else will you know whats going on? Once your love struck teen tells you about the other person ask them, "What do you expect from this relationship"? This makes the teen think about what they want bringing this to the forefront of their mind. Once your young adult opens up about both the person and what they expect from the relationship you will be apart of your childs team. You've given them your support, this validates their feelings. More than anything teens want and need to be heard and validated. You've just delivered on your son or daughters biggest need. This puts you in a very good position.
Dealing with Heart Broken Teens
What to do when your teens heart is broken is simple, let them express themselves while you listen.
Once your kid talks about this new found love be careful and remember to listen taking it all in. Be prepared if they come to you with hurt feelings or a broken heart.
Teen relationships most often rebound after the first few fights, be careful, remember your supportive position.
Listen While They Vent
Questions You may consider if need be, but remember listen till they get it all out! Just getting it all out and hearing what they're thinking brings them to the solution.
- Do not make judgments about this person, listen.
- Ask your son or daughter what they feel should have been done differently.
- Listen carefully and take mental notes.
- Ask your son or daughter to tell you what they like most about this person.
- Ask what they have in common.
- What are their differences. Let them hear themselves, don't point out how this could be a problem, let them come to that on their own. Just opening the question is all it takes.
- Ask what they expect to happen since the fight. Careful to casually insert this question?
- How do you feel about that, may follow where appropriate.
Loving Reinforcements and Family Ties
Letting your child really know they are worthy of love by way of your love builds a greater expectation of other loves thus the standards by which they allow themselves to be treated.
A Review - When Your Kid Falls in Love
- Allowing your child to speak freely about the relationship gives your child the tools to openly weigh the pros and cons of the relationship. Giving a voice to their inner most struggles helps them to be more realistic about their new love.
- This puts you square in your child’s corner. If and when issues come up they will turn to you as you’re the person who trust their judgment. Your the one who is clearly on their side. They can turn to you to voice their concerns or issues.
- Your first priority is to allow your kid to talk about this new and wonderful experience. Let your kid monopolize the conversation and maintain ownership.
- You do not want you child to enter defensive ground. You want them to realize they can ramble on about this new love and you are without a doubt their go to person. You're the one who listens and understands all the while respecting and accepting their feelings.
- You see, the best way for your child to keep their head on straight about this new love is to rationalize what’s taking place in the relationship. If they go off half cocked in defense mode they will not do this.
- Having you there to listen will keep them evaluating the situation and constantly reviewing what’s taking place. This will prevent them from running blind and keep them thinking with their head as their heart runs wild and in love.
- With a good ear to listen your child will talk on a continued basis about their falling in love. It is by talking and keeping it all out on the table your child will be open, honest and make the best choices.
- This will be an fond experience you share years later, as you've handled yourself masterfully, allowing your child to successfully maneuver yet another of life's big moments.
Much Love and Success, Katie