The council of wizards assembled.
The grey beards were handed out and stern expressions adopted.
"Grim times indeed. The lands of Gielinor empty as if a giant hand is plucking people out one by one."
The greatest of the wizards adjusted her beard. Times were tough, and nobody much liked being chief wizard. So Emma had the job. It was an internship, no pay, long hours, but had the promise of fewer job titles.
As a wizard the more job titles you had, the more keys you had, the more jobs you had.
The aim was to end your career with no titles. And a comfy chair.
The beard was itchy. Beards were protocol though.
When the great issue of repopulation was discussed, only men could be considered wise enough to discuss sex, because they thought about it most.
But not every wizard was interested in such boring things as sex. So the beards were employed to ensure an even playing field in discussion.
Emma wasn't even sure what sex meant. It promised to be another boring meeting, some were already yawning.
She read from the book that had been buried deep in the ruined bowels of the ancient Wizard's Tower.
"...it was ever thus, the young rambunctious citizens would buy girlfriends and be the envy of their friends. 10 gp per day was a good price. Often times just the appearance of a girl would draw a large gathering, and there would be much hooting and hollering amongst the citizens of Gielinor.
There have been a few that theorize the future of Gielinor lies in the appearance of these strangely alluring creatures. A view I disagree with, one such creature winked at me and caused such a constriction in my heart that I felt sure to die. If they are not all evil, surely some are."
Emma flicked past several pages impatiently. If anyone could be paid to be stupid, a wizard could. Which made them clever she thought. A typical Wizard Paradox.
A glossy scrap of paper was folded between two pages.
Emma unfolded the shiny note. Gothic letters swirled in red and gold. Emma's eyes picked up hints of red and gold as the text shaped itself...