Fiery New Brands for Aussie politics

by Fargy

Let's take a peek at the major parties of Australian politics and see if we can give them a quick makeover.

I struggle to understand what any Australian party aims for now. It seems most parties are only there to do whatever is necessary to help themselves.

From that has emerged a trend of independent candidates for seats in national and state elections, because political parties are tainted.

Traditional political parties are polarized against each other. Labor hates Liberals. National Farmers Federation hates Greens. Democrats are probably hated for something, been a long time since they've made the mainstream news though.

Other parties are involved, some like The Clive Palmer Party are driven by his billions of dollars. Some like Pauline Hanson's One Nation Party come about due to frustration and idealism.

Limp wet politics.

How do we fire up the imaginations of people and make them fall in love with politics?

Okay, making someone fall in love with politics is only possible if they are mentally unstable, and Aussies tend to have good health and education.

But we've all been there, we've had to listen to politicians give a speech even if it was only a school visit. 

They are boring because they are scared and don't want to take any risks, and they don't really know what they believe in.  That lack of knowledge is what drives their fear.  That fear is what drives them to be ultra boring.

Maybe though what they need is a clearer purpose.  Not too clear, people turn into revolutionary firebrands then.  But something a little clearer than we have.

Failing that we could try to find them some better speechwriters and give them some public speaking training.



Political fails gaining air time.

Politicians are good for comedy.

It's good that people nominate themselves to entertain us.

But are we being best entertained?  We spend a lot on these politicians, are they providing the best circus?

I think a larger field of contestants would improve the quality of amusement.

To do that we need to have a broader appeal, and as the first step in that process we need some clear brands.

Currently the parties are somewhat akin to this...

One Nation; the nationalistic and not very clever party that garnered up to 9% of the national vote in 1998.  Which was amazing, and showed how far the other parties had stumbled away from being able to communicate with Australians.

National Farmers Federation: unwanted stepchild of the Liberal Party, always aligned to the Liberal Party interests which does farmers a disservice and also gives the public perception that all farmers are Liberals.

Liberal Party; if you are religious, white and rich then this is your party.  $200,000 per year income is a minimum.

Labor Party; the anti-Liberal party that brought Liberal policies into legislation, such as floating the dollar.  Recently the Labor party seems to have gone even further Liberal by taking action against single mothers and reneging on legislation to rein in gambling bosses.

The Greens; tree hugging hippies that mostly live in Tasmania and whose media coverage consists of protests at sea.  Whales and reefs and so on.

The Democrats; a party whose motto is to keep the bastards honest.  They seem to be lost because dishonest bastards are everywhere.  I'm looking at the Australian politicians who were exposed as protected informers to the US.  WikiLeaks did that.  Not the Democrats.

So let's shake this up a bit and give each party a clear aim.

Keeping it short.

We are all busy people and we don't have time to listen to hours of discussion.

One or two minutes is ample to determine our politics.

So let's repackage the parties...

The Greens, the long life party.

National Farmers Federation, the good food people.

One Nation, the outliers.

Liberals, the wealth generators.

Labor, the work generators.

Democrats, the auditors.

Clive Palmer Party, aspirational club for billionaires.


So the Democrats would audit themselves and politicians in general.  They would publish who got paid what and how much work they did.  How many speeches they gave, how many trips they took and things like how many social contacts, on Twitter etc.

So we could actually measure our bastards and see how honest they are.

Labor and Liberal would swing on their old dichotomies but more clearly.

One Nation could provide a platform for public discussion on dangerous topics.  Which need discussion, because those issues of racism don't go away in silence.

The Greens could remind us that life is short and we should enjoy what we have and pass it on.

National Farmers Federation could focus on something we all need, every day.  And yet we seem to leaving in the control of two supermarkets.

Palmer United Party would send oodles of money to random article writers just for the hell-of-it.  Would probably get them good write-ups though. *hint*


Same guy, different stuff.

Australia recently had an election (13th Sept 2013) and the winner, in theory, is the top dog in Australia. But he isn't.
We are all unionists. Every single solitary individual one of us.
War is conflict between nations. Wars have many causes, but the strongest cause is wealth. Oil is an example. Food is becoming one.
Cities are large permanent settlements. Why do they lose their permanence?
Updated: 02/25/2014, Fargy
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Jo_Murphy on 02/28/2014

You would be 'Epicurean' CMoneySpinner. You are right people have been having this conversation about liberty since ancient times. I am 'ghost writing' a book for someone and learning so much about where thought came from. The world just continues to re-enact it self. Jo

Fargy on 02/27/2014

You saw a gargantuan opportunity and took it. ;)

The first two Mummy movies were great, love Rachel.

cmoneyspinner on 02/27/2014

Well! That was vivid picture you painted of someone getting their comeuppance.

It's so hard for me to find places to use that word. Comeuppance. I learned it watching one of those "Mummy" movies with Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz. Can't remember which one. Hardly ever get use it!

Fargy on 02/27/2014

The anonymity of control freaks is part of what makes them powerful. Yet seen in the light they are pitiful creatures.

Rupert Murdoch owns over half of Australia's media. He's the owner of Foxtel and suchlike.

In the US he owns Fox and a bunch of other media outlets.

He speaks with an insidious voice to politicians.

Yet when one sees him in the light he is a petty and hateful man.

He exposed himself by starting to use Twitter. If you want you can read about him in his own voice there.

He even gets to vote on the Oscar winners.

You can see he denies global warming and has a political agenda.

In Australia that equates to trying to stop the national broadband network because it will compete with his Foxtel cable television network.

But the good thing is he gets feedback about how stupid some of his ideas are.

When nobody could see what he said all his cronies would laugh hysterically at his jokes like little schoolgirls, or be fired.

Exposure is good. Twitter is a ray of light in Murdoch's light, but it's a slow slow process.

Rupert is against global warming and people who give money to others.

cmoneyspinner on 02/27/2014

@Fargy: Appreciate your thoughts Jo_Murphy.

More often than not, AHBs appreciate "borderlessness". AHB = average human beings. I love the fact that I can talk to someone in another part of the world as if I'm having a cup of coffee and we're sitting across from each other at the kitchen table. When you say "governments" don't like that, you're really referring to PIHBs, power-mongering individual human beings, which is short for CFs - control freaks. Oh well! What can they do? Shut down the Internet? Sure! They can do that! But so what!

Before countries or empires became established, the world was borderless. I doubt that now that border lines have been drawn for centuries, they can be erased. I'm realistic. But I also doubt that one human being can ever control another one, no matter how much power they think they have. I think most people no matter which part of the planet they live on all want basically the same thing: A HAPPY LIFE.

CFs who try to prevent that from happening usually get a wake up call!

P.S. I think MOOCs are fantastic!

Jo_Murphy on 02/27/2014

I think the Internet will bring about a leveling of the playing field with regards to education and access to work. There are MOOC's (Massive Online Open Communities) I have taken several courses and I am doing one now on Gamification. I work online and to date I have worked for Russian, UK. US. Nigeria etc etc Once my business (online ESL) is up and running I can buy a home and work in Spain because the business will not take from the Spanish country. I am working with Mexicans right now and will live there for a while. I wouldn't even know about these opportunities but for the Internet. The Internet removes barriers such as age, gender - the work is what it is. There are great innovations on the Internet Peer Assessment being one of term Huge classes can be graded (1,000s) in a way that a teacher alone could never do.
Governments are not liking this borderlessness. (Although Spain does seem to)
Australia is just about to learn a very big lesson.
She is not isolated and alone. She cannot make her own global rules. She is not above being attacked - China and USA just signed agreements. She may not have the big brother watching over and protecting her much longer. Australia is not impervious to International sanction and she can't actually prevent reporters and investigators finding out what she is doing in secret.
In short Australia was a teenager but know she has been asked to become adult.

cmoneyspinner on 02/26/2014

Never been to Australia but I've always wanted to visit. I like that you think the Internet is the next great foundation for a better world. It is a phenomenal tool for communication. Notice I said communication. As an information circulation tool, the I.T. is kind of IFFY. :) Since you don't always know if you're getting actual information when you arrive at a website. This Wizzle was very enlightening about what's going on in Aussie land.

Fargy on 02/26/2014

Australia is the lucky country. We do get all the normal things, like crime and crazies. But there are subtle differences between countries that are on the surface look alike.

For example the US and Australia. Australia doesn't have the focus on flags or national anthems that the US has. We have a strong gun culture but we implemented gun control after the last gun massacre at Pt Arthur in 1996. No gun massacres since then.

Australia, by US definitions is a socialist country. But our two main political parties are a strange mix. The Liberals are not liberal at all, they are like the left wing of the Republican party, but they are the party that pushed through gun control. Our Labor party originated from trade unions, yet that party pushed through many economic reforms that one would think were the domain of the Liberal party.

It's common to hear people on US television praising the Lord or thanking God for various thngs. Winning a singing contest or sporting game for example. That sort of religious fervor isn't so strong in Australia. Or not so visible anyhow.

Perhaps Australia's past of having convicts and then gold miners and settlers produced a rich and independent group of people. Used to having to find solutions themselves and having to work together against things like drought, bushfires and so on. I fear that is changing as Australia becomes a very metropolitan culture, as nearly every nation is.

I think US citizens are lucky too though. The US is a much more bountiful country than the desert prone Australia. Like Australia, the US can draw on a rich multicultural diversity. And people in the US are a very giving and generally happy bunch.

I was born in Detroit, and have Australian citizenship, and am married to a UK citizen. All three countries have a great foundational quality, a common language, English. But all are well worth seeing for the subtle differences. The dialects of the UK are amazing. I'm easily amazed though, my strongest impression of both the UK and the US is how vibrant green can be, compared to our much sun washed trees in Australia.

The internet is the next great foundation for a better world, or so I believe.

We can talk about things, like here, and for that are all lucky,

cmoneyspinner on 02/26/2014

Extracted a couple of quotes from the above.

- "fall in love with politics" - Dude! Only people in love with politics are the politicians and the comedians!

- "emerged a trend of independent candidates" - Know what that means? It meas that whatever country you're living in, the folks are evidently free to express themselves. It means they're not satisfied and they think they can possibly do a better job. Even if not, they can't do no worse! That's what they think. Reality is things could always be worse. But let them think positive thoughts anyway.

Once upon a time in America, there were people who ran for office that weren't on any political party's ticket! Not even the Independents. Right on! Right on! God bless America. Power to the people!

As far as I can tell this Wizzle shouts out - God bless Australia! The people have minds of their own!

Fargy on 02/25/2014

Ola! Intelligence isn't a high requirement, just look at the author. :)

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