Are Religious Parents Raising Selfish Brats?

Researchers tested approximately 1,200 children ages 6-12 from six countries: United States, Canada, China, Jordan, Turkey, and South Africa. 24% of the children were from Christian identified homes, 43% were from Muslim identified homes and 27.6% were from non-religious homes. 

Each child was given two tests: a moral sensitivity task and the Dictator game. In the moral sensitivity task the children viewed video clips of people being intentionally or accidentally harmed and their responses to the clips were recorded. The Dictator game involved a computer screen with 30 stickers on the screen. The child was told they could pick their favorite ten stickers. After they selected the stickers, they were told that the experimenter did not have the time to play this game with all of the children in their school, so not everyone would be able to receive stickers.

From these two tests, and a questionnaire for the parents researchers concluded these three things: Family religious identification decreases children’s altruistic behaviors, religiousness predicts parent-reported child sensitivity to injustices and empathy and children from religious households are harsher in their punitive tendencies.

In an article titled, "Children's Altruistic Behavior in the Dictator Game", by Joyce Benenson, Joanna Pascoe and Nicola Radmore in the journal "Evolution & Human Behavior", the authors state, "Virtually all developmental studies conclude that young children behave selfishly towards genetically unrelated individuals." 

James Andreoni and Justin M. Rao state in their paper, "The Power of Asking: How Communication Affects Selfishness, Empathy, and Altruism" (published in National Bureau of Economic Research Working Paper Series, NBER Working Paper No. 16373) "...we argue that while humans do have a strong capacity to behave altruistically, selfishness typically predominates. Furthermore, social cues have evolved so that altruistic behavior is not expressed indiscriminately, but rather is likely to be expressed when it is instrumental in serving other selfish (or imperfectly altruistic) ends."

Another study by Ariel Knafo, et al published in PLoS ONE, 2011. September 6(9):1-5 lays the blame for selfishness and a lack of altruism on a gene. 

Even Dr. Decety himself has published a paper titled, "Experiencing a Natural Disaster Alters Children’s Altruistic Giving" (Psychological Science, September 2013, 24(9), pp.1686-1695) where he states a discrepancy in the altruism of children, by age, after experiencing a major natural disaster. Were these religious children or non-religious children?

There are virtually hundreds of studies by behavioral psychologists and there is no common agreement on the etiology of selfishness. It could be caused by a gene, it is innate, it is based on family income, or it is a result of nature versus nurture. To make a blanket statement that religious homes produce more selfish and punitive children causes us to question the motive behind the study.

Religious homes differ in one aspect from non-religious: they believe in a deity to whom they are accountable. This accountability extends to the nurture and raising of their children. Proverbs 22:15 says, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." (KJV) and Proverbs 22:6, "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." (NLT)

Children from any family background are foolish. Watch any group of 3-4 year olds and you will see children from religious homes and non-religious homes struggling with the concept of sharing. You will witness children exhibiting punitive behavior when they feel their rights have been violated. Hitting, slapping and biting are common behaviors. You will see children throwing themselves on the ground in the grocery store screaming because they have been denied something.

Religious and non-religious parents alike take time to teach their children how to behave correctly in society because children do not innately know proper social etiquette. How many times do you hear parents reminding their children to express gratitude--"Did you say thank you?" Religious and non-religious parents alike also teach consequences of wrong behavior. When a child misbehaves, parents have methods of correcting their children--time outs, removing a cherished object, and yes corporal punishment. Are religious parents more likely to punish physically than their non-religious counterparts? There are no statistics to prove that is the case.

Proverbs 22:6 assures parents if they teach their children the correct social skills when they are older they not leave it, they will comprehend the teaching and implement it in their life.

What Evolutionary Psychologists, like Dr. Decety, want to make us believe is that raising children in religious homes does not make them morally superior to non-religious children. He is, in fact, correct in that supposition. Raising children in religious homes does not make them better than non-religious children BUT it doesn't make them worse. Children will be children and will behave like children. It is a parent's responsibility to guide them and teach them.

Parents in religious and non-religious homes believe in accountability. Being accountable for behavior entails recognizing your failure, asking forgiveness for your failure, learning from it and moving on. Dr. Decety calls asking for forgiveness "moral licensing" implying it is a way of justifying bad behavior while it is completely opposite. Asking for forgiveness establishes a foundation of recognizing when we've done wrong and making amends. Telling your child to apologize to another child for hurting them is teaching them pro-social skills not sociopathic ones.

So, as with any psychological study we take the findings with a grain of salt and move on.  Human nature is complex and making judgments on the personal beliefs of individuals, who follow a code of conduct in opposition to yours, calls into question the true motive of your study. Are religious children bigger brats than non-religious ones? Or are children, in general, just acting their age and behaving accordingly? I tend to believe kids are kids regardless of whether they are raised in a religious home or not. It is when they get older that we get a more honest measure of how valuable religious training was.