Baby Names - How to Choose A Baby Name

When I was younger I believed I knew what my children would one day be called. "Thomas," because that was the name of my much loved father who died when I was a child and "Lucy," because that was the name of my best friend.

Then, life got in the way.

Firstly, I had only daughters, so Thomas was out of the window. Secondly, my younger sister had a daughter before me and named her Lucy.

All this meant that my long treasured baby names were useless and I needed to find some new ones. So, not knowing where to begin, I trudged off to the shops, and bought a couple of baby name books. Only then did I realise just how hard this was going to be. Suddenly, I had a sense of the scale of what was facing me.

 Naming someone, choosing a word that they had to see and say hundreds of times a day for their whole lifetime, seemed such an enormous responsibility. I was utterly overwhelmed. So, I started a process of reducing the possibilities- reading through the lists with my partner, scoring through the immediate "no's" of which there were a surprisingly large number. This left me with about 20 names which formed the basis of a shortlist. The problem was, even armed with a shortlist, I really didn't know where to go from there. After a lot of research I found out an awful lot about choosing names, which I have tried to summarise below. I hope you find it useful so that your journey to choosing a name for your new baby can be a happy and exciting one.

Consider which names are currently the most popular. In my case I refused to use any of the names that were in the top 10 girls or boys names for that year unless they were classic names. Think carefully before choosing a fashionable baby name. Something that seems very fashionable now won't in 20 years and may even become embarrassing for your child.

Names either of celebrities or of their children are something else you should try to avoid unless you are absolutely certain that it will not have any future implications for your child.These kind of names are often extremely popular for a couple of years and then fall out of favor quite suddenly leaving children with a name that may even seem an embarrassment.

Also, think about what the name you choose means.

Many people don't know the meanings of names so it is useful to get a book and quickly check, this way there won't be any nasty surprises later. 

Recently there has been a trend for parents to choose a commonly used name and change the spelling to make it more unique. Please think carefully before doing this as to whether that "uniqueness" is worth it given the difficulties that this may cause your child throughout their life.

I have a name that needs to be spelled every time I give it, and it has frustrated me immensely over the years.

This is a name that you will be using for many, many years so make sure that you BOTH love it. My sister-in-law, currently pregnant, wants a name that my brother hates. She has told me that she is waiting until just after the birth when he is full of gratitude to her for all that she has gone through during the birth to persuade him to use the name she likes.

Personally I think this is a bad idea. It is much better if you can find a name that you both love. Not only will it avoid conflict but it will mean that it is a joy for you to both use and tell people about.

Try not to use names that are usually used for a child of the other gender. You may love the name and be desperate to use it, but something as simple as this can be the basis for years of unnecessary bullying.

One thing you should consider when thinking how to choose a baby name is when you tell people what you have chosen. One thing is certain, if you tell people before the child is born some people will say that they don't like it and try to persuade you to choose something different.

For this reason many people prefer to tell people the name after the baby is born. This way people believe that the final decision has been made and usually only offer positive feedback. Of course, this doesn't always work. When I told my mother in law my daughters name (after the birth) her reply was "no, what is it really....?"