Birth Order - Being the First Born

Being the First born meant of course, that you were the only child for a season.  Your parents were new to the whole ball game of parenting and showered you with a ton of attention.  Everything you did was fascinating.  They could not help but show you off at every occasion where anyone would listen.  You were 'the News'

We live in times where people have never played with a baby or in some cases, never even held a baby until they have their own, so you, the first born would have been a novelty to your parents.

You may have learnt to associate love with being the centre of attention.  You may always seek to be the centre of attention; you may even suffer from performance based anxiety.

The other flip side could be that your parents were a lot more firm and strict with you as they had no way of knowing what the norm for a person of your age was.  Your parents may then have imposed stricter rules on you than on any other sibling.  You will know if this happened to you as you will say to your parents (or at least think it) on numerous occasions (possibly, even when they are dealing with your children) that they have gone soft now.  You know you would never have been allowed to do certain things that your siblings or your children get away with.

You hold yourself to higher standards, you also probably hold a title of great import in whatever business or company you are a part of.  You feel a bit down if you are not recognised for the work that you do. 

You do not like to settle for mediocrity which is a great thing for your career and your life.  The only slight downside is that you may also hold others to high standards too which can affect your relationships with them. 

Learn to be patient with the people around you and also learn that you are good enough whether anyone tells you so or not.

As mentioned earlier, the situation that started me thinking about Birth Order was watching my First Born carry my last born.There is an expectation that you will look after other people.

In my family, my father was a paraplegic and it sometimes fell to my older sister to look after his needs. She felt it was her responsibility to do this which meant she was put upon in numerous situations. This can happen in big families too. When you have a lot of siblings, your parents start to expect you to help them with your siblings and with the house, regardless of your age. They also expect you to take care of yourself, as they now have reduced time and you are perceived to be capable.

This ability to take care of others is not necessarily a bad thing.  This can lead to a great sense of personal responsibility that can help you in later life.  Taking full responsibility for one’s actions is a great skill to have in a world that likes to blame others for their misfortunes.  

You are also more capable at a lot of practical things as you were expected to do them from a young age.  This makes you a lot more self-sufficient.

The only downside is if you take too much responsibility for other people’s wellbeing.  You forget how to say ‘No’ when someone is taking advantage of your nature.