What's the Difference Between a Christian Wedding and a Normal Church Wedding?

A quiet, ancient country church takes precedence over a loud, new city church, especially those built in the 1960s and therefore resembling a school sports hall.  The latter might well be the actual parish church, but it doesn't look great on the photographs. Most vicars now will conduct marriages for out-of-parish couples, though they will charge a little more to do so.

At the appointed time, family, friends, colleagues and associates will descend upon the holy venue. They'll all be wearing their finery and will be met by a cast of honored guests performing roles.

The ushers (usually male relatives and friends of the groom in tuxedos) will show people to their pews. Bride's guests on one side of the church, groom's folk on the other. Music will be playing, either ambient tunes electronically or someone playing the church organ. The songs may or may not be hymns. They could well be romantic tunes, as maintaining the mood is all.

Standing at the front will be the groom, accompanied by his best man and/or groomsmen. Even the most laid back men begin to nervously glance down the aisle as the time approaches, and often passes right by.

It's fashionable for the bride to be late.

At the altar, the wedding ceremony will be Christian, conducted by a cleric of God. Then everyone relocates outside for the wedding photographs (some may have been done prior to the rites too). 

A special vehicle has usually been hired for the occasion - posh car, horse and cart, something different - into which the bride and groom now climb amid cheers and ovations.  The wedding party quickly piles into their own conveyances to follow them down the road.

They're off to the reception, where all will be met by servers with glasses of champagne ready for the toast. Usually a feast ensues - a massive several coursed meal, or a buffet banquet - with free-flowing alcohol from the bar.  Once the plates have been cleared away, the dance music begins from the DJ's deck, or the live band hired for the evening.  The party continues well into the night.

That is a church wedding.  So why might it not equally be called a Christian wedding?

Not every Christian focuses upon the Seven Deadly Sins, but they are a usual illustration here of where some church weddings totally miss the point:

Greed - This includes simony (the selling of sacraments), which would surely include the extra costs incurred in selecting 'pretty' churches over local parish ones. Even if it didn't, then greed is in evidence everywhere else, in the tremendous expenditure involved when the bride and groom seek to create a fairy tale spectacle.  Everything from special vehicles to dresses to extravagant receptions will tick the boxes here.

Pride - Vainglory used to be highlighted as a separate sin, until Pope Gregory amalgamated it into the category of pride. It means to attract all focus onto your own glory, though that will be a futile venture in its temporary nature. ALL brides are the most beautiful, until the next one comes along. We might also call it vanity.

Sloth - Spiritual laziness is at the center of many perceived normal wedding ceremonies. For those only attending church during these rites of passage, that charge is obvious. But when all concerned are more focused upon the whole spectacle of the occasion, rather than the solemnity of the oaths spoken before God, then all spirituality is lost.

Gluttony - For many guests, the best part of a wedding is the free food. That feast, wherein each wedding couple tries to out-do those who went before.  People eat until they feel too full to move, and so much food goes to waste thereon. Then more food comes out later in the party.  Not to mention the alcohol, which some Christian congregations prohibit in the spirit of temperance.

Wrath - Ever heard the saying that no wedding is complete without a fight or a feud kicking off? That's what happens when the happy couple invite people from all areas of their lives, chucking a clash of worlds and individuals who would otherwise avoid each other, into an environment of free-flowing alcohol.

Envy - And many of those fights begin when a) the thwarted love rival declares they should have been the bride/groom; b) the festivities are compared to those of a couple who were previously wed, like it's a competition; or c) some guest makes a pass at someone else's partner.  Covetousness in all its dark glory.

Lust - See above, then couple it with the risque traditions surrounded with sending the bride and groom off for their wedding night.

But most of all, where was Christ in this order of ceremony?  In a Christian wedding, He would be right at the center, which is what gives those rites its name.

These are not oaths to be pledged lightly.  Therefore the couple will have been counseled for weeks, months, or however long it takes for both to understand fully to what they are committing.  They will be spiritually invested in every word spoken at that altar. They will have asked Jesus Christ to be their witness.

The pastor, vicar or priest will have spent hours with this couple, preparing them not merely for a ceremony, but their whole marriage too.  By the time they clearly speak their vows, they will be ready for a life-time together.

Naturally there is some celebration here - weddings are not glum affairs! - but the solemnity far out-strips the jovial atmosphere. These are religious rites, not the precursor to a party. Some Christian couples don't hold a reception for that reason.

Music here will always be hymnal, and a sermon will be included within the rites. Prayers will be spoken for the happy couple. They will be invested with all due spirituality, not merely recited. There will be no-one present just bowing their heads to get this bit over with.  It's to do with respect too. The bride won't be 'fashionably late' for her meeting with Christ and her beloved groom. If she wears white, then it is in the sense of virginal modesty. The attention should be always upon Christ, all else is vanity.

And THAT is the difference between a Christian wedding and a church wedding. They're Christian.