How to Call a Halt to That Pity Party

I think, in the vast majority of cases, no matter how bad things are, there will almost certainly still be something to be grateful for. Perhaps it's a person in your life or a relationship you value; maybe it's the love of an animal; or perhaps it's your health.

Life can sometimes deal you a really rotten hand, but if you can remember to be grateful for the things that are good - even if those things are few and far between, you'll be much happier.

All right, so things look pretty grim right now (maybe they look downright awful), but if that's the case, then there is some good news: the only way is up.

We humans thrive, not so much on the achievement of a goal or the attaining of possessions or relationships, but on the striving for those things; the anticipation.

Looking forward to something can provide us with great joy and, more importantly, in terms of removing yourself from a rut of self-pity, looking forward shifts your focus.

By giving yourself something to shoot for, you're no longer fixated on the internal, but you're aiming for the external: your goals and aspirations.

It's a cliche, but it's true: one of the best ways to feel better is to do something for someone else.

It doesn't have to be a big, grand gesture, small things are just as effective.

Remind a loved one that they're special to you; ask an elderly neighbor if you can pick them something up from the store; call that friend you've been meaning to phone for months. 

You'll be amazed how an improved sense of self and better self-esteem can affect your mood and the level of self-pity you feel. 

One of the most common traits of self-pity is the notion that the world is against you. Life for other people is dandy, but for me, it's a b!*£&.

And, let's face it, some things in life are beyond your control: if a storm floods your house, there's very little you can do; if the company you work for goes bust and you lose your job, that's not your fault.

However, there are times when bad things happen and we should take responsibility, even if it's only to realize that we could have seen it coming and been better prepared.

In any case, the way to stop wallowing in self-pity is to focus on the things you can affect. And, believe it or not, you can affect a lot. Shakespeare may have thought that "all the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players", but we have a lot more say over our lives than that.