Laughter is dangerous! Don't laugh, whatever you do! LOL

by cherylone

A humorous, fictional look at banning laughter as dangerous. Because so many people ban so many silly things, I thought I would see how it would sound if we tried to ban laughter.

In today's society, people are protesting and arguing to ban things; many of which are simply silly or stupid and seem totally ridiculous. And it's not just common sense, like "sweets are bad for you so let's limit them"; instead it becomes "sweets are bad for you so let's eliminate them". So here is a humorous look at banning laughter, which is actually good for you--but someone out there probably wants to eliminate that as well!

Laughter can cause so much danger in everyone!

Laughter can cause young adults to do outrageous things so their peers will laugh more!  Young adults, or adolescents, feel that to be laughed at (or with) means to draw attention and be popular.  Young adults drink pickle juice, eat cinnamon, stick a pin in themselves, staple themselves, get inappropriate tattoos, speak inappropriate language, act the fool, pull dangerous pranks, and simply be ridiculously funny in order to draw laughter (and therefore approval) from their peers.

Eliminate the clowns!
Eliminate the clowns!

Laughter can make children do outrageous things because their parents, friends, and preschool buddies will laugh.  Laughter will cause young children to climb things and put themselves in danger, paint their faces, eat crayons, eat paste, drink the paint water, purposely fall down, put things on their heads (like the trash can) and generally act out in order to get the attention that laughter brings.

Adults will also do stupid and silly things to bring out laughter in their fellow human beings.  They will eat their erasers, drink rotten milk, write on themselves (like the forehead), wear stupid clothes or hats, climb on things like tables, and pretend they don’t understand things so they can be laughed at.

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I tell you, laughter is dangerous.

I hereby suggest that we sign a petition to ban laughter forever!  (I wrote one up at the bottom of this article so you can print it out and begin collecting those needed signatures.)  We need to ban together, everyone!  We need to get everyone to comply.  We need to make laughter and the acts which cause laughter to be illegal and carry a stiff penalty.  We need to teach our children from day one that laughter is wrong and evil!  How can we live in a society that allows such foolhardy and dangerous behavior?  “Ban the laugh!” That should be our slogan!  That should be our battle cry.   Our soldiers should be out there ensuring that no one laughs!

Ban the laugh--our battle cry!
George Armstrong Custer, U.S. Army Major General, 1863
If you enjoy laughing, you might like this article:

Laughter, does it help?
An article about the benefits of laughing.

This is a warning to all who have forgotten our history.

I mean the history of man.  Man has suffered so much throughout the years.  Did our ancestors laugh when the Depression hit?  Did our ancestors laugh when they had to fight for their rights?  Did our ancestors laugh when war broke out?  The answer is NO!  So why are we permitting the young generation to blatantly laugh without consequences?  Why are we allowing them to be, dare I say it, funny?  Why are we giving them ample opportunity to laugh?

We could change the 'stupid' to laughing...
Warning No Stupid People

And while we are on the subject:

Smiling and chuckling and giggling should also be on the ban list!  Nothing that will cause anyone to smile, chuckle, giggle or laugh, should be allowed.  And babies, Ohhh, babies should never be allowed to smile, giggle and coo at their families.  We must show them right up front that laughter is wrong.  Laughter is evil!  Laughter leads to the dark side (oh wait, that’s a different story).  Laughter, evil!  Laughter, bad!  Laughter, dangerous!

This is not a true story...

Everything here has been changed to protect those who still won't smile!

This is our petition.

Please feel free to print and start gathering those signatures!

BAN THE LAUGH! 

Please sign below to show your support of this worthwhile cause!

By signing this petition, I am confirming that I believe that laughter is wrong, evil, dangerous and genuinely bad for all concerned.  I hereby agree to have laughter banned from any and all phases of the world! 

PS: once this petition has been filled to the max, it will be sent to the highest authority on sadness for processing.

 

If this were real, where do you think the petition should be sent?

  Display results
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Updated: 04/02/2012, cherylone
 
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cherylone on 08/05/2012

Thank you Katie, I was trying to tweek the humorous side of seriousness, I think I might have succeeded a tiny bit.

katiem2 on 08/04/2012

I'm smiling, chuckling and flat out tickled pink to read such a humorous story.

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