Living Alone On My Own

by Ragtimelil

Some folks think living alone is a lonely life. I don’t see it that way. I actually prefer living alone.

There have been a few times in my life when I thought I’d like to have a lot of people around, but when it actually happened, I realized that I’m really a loner at heart. That doesn’t mean I don’t like people or don’t appreciate company. I just am perfectly content to be by myself.

When I was a kid, I had a vision of living in a cabin in the woods with a host of animals. For many years, that is exactly how I lived. It was a struggle to buy that little house, and now that I’ve lost it, I’ve also lost the ability to have the animals that I used to have. Still I have two dogs who need to be walked and fed and cared for. That’s fine for now. It keeps me from being too lazy.

Early Days

When I was younger, I had relationships and was even married once for a short time. I didn't plan on living alone.  I realized that no one could give me what I wanted and, in fact, didn’t even want the same things I did. My relationships just didn’t last. I resigned myself to a solitary life.

I did consider having children at one time, but my feeling was that if there was no room for me to have a little house and yard, then most likely there were simply too many people on the planet. I lived most of my life living close to the edge. If I couldn’t take proper care of myself, why would I want to try to take care of someone else, anyway?  I just never had the burning desire to reproduce. (Interestingly, my three siblings had only one biological child each.)

My Kids
My Kids

No Big Crowds

I don’t like to be in crowds of people. I realize, though that I’ve almost always been like that. I didn’t want to go to Woodstock because it would have been a big crowd. I feel unsafe in a huge gathering of strangers. Things could happen that would be dangerous, like a stampede or some other disaster.

I would rather be in a small group of people having a conversation or sharing music or a meal.


In the distant past, there were holidays when I felt lonely. I grew up celebrating all the traditional holidays by being with family. When my family moved away, we all dispersed to various parts of the world and that was no longer possible. I was often invited to the homes of friends and their family. It was very uncomfortable since they always had their own traditions and family feuds. I decided to celebrate by myself and have been much happier for it.

I don’t’ mind spending time with friends who don’t do the traditional celebrations but I won’t accept invitations for the rest. I’m more content spending time with my dogs.

The Good

Like any lifestyle, there are good and bad things about living alone. The good things are, not having to check with anyone about going somewhere, buying something, what movie to watch, what to eat or any other of those life decisions. You are free to do what you want, when you want. If you decide to paint the kitchen pink, well, you don't need to discuss it.

You don’t have to worry about pleasing someone. I used to make great meals for someone who couldn't be bothered to come inside and eat when it was ready. I scrubbed the bathroom for someone who never noticed. Now, if I bother at all, I do it for me.

You don’t have to adjust to someone else’s time schedule. It might be a small sacrifice if you are living with people you love, but I delight in having a day stretch out in front of me with no obligations.


The Down Side

There are times when I wish someone was around. Sometimes I have no one to help reach, dig, build, hold or do those things that may take two or more people.

It is easy to get lazy about cooking good meals or getting dressed. And, of course, there is no second income.

If you have exciting news, there’s no one handy to share it with. My dogs just don’t seem to get the importance of my announcements. I have to call or visit a friend.

If you are away from home, there is no one to call in an emergency. You will have to find someone else to give you a ride or to let the dogs out or any of those things

Just In Case

. I always make sure that someone has a spare key and written instructions and phone numbers in case something happens. Being online isn’t a bad thing either. It not only keeps you company, but if you don’t show up for a while, friends can check in with you to make sure you’re all right.

Good friends and neighbors often help out when you live alone. I find it does become difficult to ask for too much though when I don’t have the means to reciprocate. I try to stay hopeful that things will get better and someday I’ll be back in a little house where I can have my family of animals and invite friends over.  For now, I’m just grateful for my dogs and a roof over my head.

Updated: 02/15/2013, Ragtimelil
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Ragtimelil on 08/26/2014

I've been there too. Right now I'm living in an RV park. It's cheap and I don't have a roommate, but I can hear the smokers coughing, conversations and whatever else my neighbors are doing. Hoping for a change someday soon.

RuthCox on 08/26/2014

Home alone is my favorite place to be. Unfortunately, I find myself in a financial predicament wherein I need a roommate to survive. I'll be glad when I can be back on my own again. Yes, a loner at heart, like you.

Ragtimelil on 06/29/2013

I am pretty content. I do like visiting with friends but just not crowds.

Ragtimelil on 04/05/2013

You could be right. Being popular is so important in our teen years (not that I was). Then we realize being alone is really ok.

HollieT on 04/05/2013

Do you ever wonder, RTL, if when we were younger and wanted people around, it was because that's what we thought was expected of us? When we're older, we stop caring and tend to develop as the people that we really are! Just my two cents.

Ragtimelil on 02/28/2013

Yes, I agree. We need our time to write and ponder.

RebeccaE on 02/28/2013

I enjoy being alone, and for me it simply might be because I am a writer. It can also be because I don't like crowds or people who can "know it all" However, honestly it is because I am a writer that I enjoy my alone time.

Ragtimelil on 02/27/2013

Thank YOU. Yes, I was rather surprised at how many people agreed with me. You really have to have some peace and quiet to write and think. Although my dogs get pretty demanding at walky If it weren't for them, I'd sit at this computer until I was faint....

katiem2 on 02/27/2013

It must be the writer in us all, I too enjoy being alone. I was also once married to a man who took it very personal that I preferred to spend the majority of my time alone and DID NOT want to go EVERYWHERE with him. When I did get rid of him I was thrilled to finally be left alone at home... Terrible right? BUT I do have two children who drag me from my solidarity and like you I adore animals relating to them most often better than people. They just hang with you and create little if any friction. I've always been a loner but have an intense love of theater and the arts, I actually direct plays and instruct part time which is one of my passions. This brings me out into the world of hustle and bustle oh yes and lots of people. I guess you can say I've learned to compromise between the loner in me and the creative person who must go out.

I'll imagine you getting that little house allowing you to have more friends (animals) I know you will just keep thinking and imagining you will.

Great story, thanks for sharing. :)K

Ragtimelil on 02/16/2013

You got that right! Sometimes though I want to crank up the radio and listen to music. No one here to complain.

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