Mr Zurkon

by tirial

Mr Zurkon is a small hovering robot, with a line in pithy one liners and a Chuck Norris attitude. Oh and a really big laser gun.

"Mr Zurkon does not need nanotech - Mr Zurkon lives on fear!"

Mr Zurkon is a small hovering synthoid, with a line in pithy one liners and a Chuck Norris attitude. Oh, and a really big laser gun.

Issued by GrummelNet, the synthoid rose to promenance after its partnership with Ratchet and Clank, the interstellar troubleshooters. So on this totally unofficial fan page, when GrummelNet thought they'd put some more facts out for our prize product, we jumped. Mr Zurkon is a small robot, only twelve inches high. He's a very good shot, and downright sarcastic on occasion. Oh, and almost cute, if you like that kind of thing...

An Introduction to Mr Zurkon

"I shall let you live little alien....psych!"

One of the latest Grummelnet technology releases, Mr Zurkon exists to keep you safe in hostile alien environments. Even the weediest of individuals can feel safe anywhere with their trusty Zurkon by their side. What to be alone? Mr Zurkon can ensure complete privacy.

A small synthoid with a big gun and bigger mouth, Mr Zurkon is equipped to handle any situation - and if you want him to be more prepared there's even an optional plasma upgrade. He even reacts appropriately when you do something stupid - with shame - and therefore should possibly not be purchased by those weak of ego.

In short, Mr Zurkon is awesome.

Mr Zurkon Commercial - GrummelNet's official commercial for Mr Zurkon

Here's Grummelnet's own comercial, courtesy of youtube, for anyone still wondering why you might want to buy Mr Zurkon.

Mr Zurkon in the plastic

A model of Mr Zurkon

For people who can't be trusted with a real Zurkon, here's the next best thing. Grummelnet have come to their senses and rendered the delightful little guy in the metal - well, plastic at least. They've even bundled him with a measely furball (Ratty? Ratchey? Whoever.) so he'll have something to protect.

Unfortunately it is only a model and doesn't float or fire lasers. For those functions, contact GrummelNet through interstellar telephony to upgrade to the original.

Ratchet & Clank Series 1: Armored Ratchet with Mr. Zurkon Action Figure

Popular PS 3 video game license product.

Diamond Comic Distributors
Only $74.99

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8 pc DC Ratchet and Clank Action Figure Set Clank Zoni Zurkon

This set of 4 individually packaged action figures includes


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The voice of Mr Zurkon

Vocal samples by Marc Graue

For Mr. Zurkon's unique voice, Grummelnet used vocal samples from the well known Marc Graue. Why was he chosen to voice the illustrious Mr Zurkon? Well, for more about the voice of Mr Zurkon, why not see his resume?

"Mr Zurkon does not need nanotechnology. Mr Zurkon lives on fear."


A Synthoid of Many Talents - Mr Zurkon's other abilities

GrummelNet would never release a one-dimensional robot. After his initial field-tests, Mr Zurkon has proved itself a robot of many talents. Admittedly most of them involve killing things to keep Ratchet safe (that Lombax can't get himself out of trouble, after all).

 There's his phenomenal range of one liners, his upgrade capability (to Zurkon the destroyer, capable of firing plasma bolts not just laser beams) his "never say quit" attitude and the way he turns away in shame when Ratchet falls off a cliff.

"Death is too stupid for Mr. Zurkon."

All that, and he's not a bad dancer either....

Mr Zurkon gets the groove!

Where to get your own Mr Zurkon?

"Mr. Zurkon is inadequate for this mission.......just kidding."

WARNING: Purchase of this item on your planet may be restricted by interstellar or quadrant weapons regulations. Possession of a class four unrestricted heavy weapons permit ratified by Solana galaxy authorities is required.

 In association certain software developers, GrummelNet have licenced the development of a full Zurkon-ownership simulator, available online or in certain highstreet stores - and we're certain it will make you realise why you need on in your day to day life!

So, if you own a PS3 or PS4, pick up your ownership simulator from the group below. Zurkon fans may prefer him in "A Crack in Time" for the higher attitude quota. He makes a triumphant return in All-4-One! And, of course, if you get a Crack in Time, you also get access to the upgrade: Zurkon The Destroyer! Don't leave home without one.

For UK fans, don't worry, the Atlantic is no barrier to Mr Zurkon! Find him on
Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack In Time - Playstation 3

Concluding the events set into motion by Tools of Destruction, Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time will at long last answer some of the franchise fans' largest questions. Af...

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Ratchet & Clank Future: A Crack in Time - PS3 [Digital Code]

With Dr Nefarious plotting evil, the fabric of space starting to unravel all around and a robot-shaped hole where Clank should be, Ratchet’s finding it a little difficult to be ...

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You and your friends both want Zurkons? No Problem!

GrummelNet can deal with every eventuality!
Ratchet and Clank: All 4 One - Playstation 3

Created exclusively for the PlayStation 3 by Insomniac Games, Ratchet & Clank: All 4 One packs an explosive punch by introducing 4-player co-op to the franchise for the first ti...

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Zurkon ownership is usually restricted by law to one Synthoid per owner, due to lethality. However multiple Zurkon owners may take the field at the same time. Now through extensive reprograming (our top designers threatened not to let them kill aliens anymore) if owners deploy their Zurkons Zurkons simultaneously, co-operation does occur. Multiple Zurkons can make a one man army. We've even ensured they don't target other Zurkon owners. Aren't GrummelNet good to our customers?

The All-4-One PS3 Zurkon simulator demonstrates this.


Ratchet, Clank or Mr. Zurkon - Who is the star of the show?

Now really there's only one answer to this, but who would you vote for? Ratchet, Clank or Mr Zurkon? (And remember, only one of them will come after you with a laser rifle if you get it wrong!)

Expansion to the Zurkon Line

Mr Zurkon is effective, cool and fun to be around - unless you're not his owner. But sometimes there are those situations where you just need a bit of extra firepower and GrummelNet never lets its clients down. 

Enter the Zurkon Family!

If things are looking bad Little Zurkon will enter the fray! Cute but deadly, this little robot loves watching his Dad at work, and he's well trained the best way to handle Stranger Danger: by raining death upon strangers before they become dangers! When things get really bad, even the dreaded Mrs Zurkon can chip in.

Choose your favourite Zurkon Model

The Zurkon range recently expanded to include new models - Little Zurkon and M<rs Zurkon. What's your favourite choice?

Into the nexus

PS3 Ratchet and Clank: Into the Nexus

Ratchet and Clank are back! The beloved duo return with an original single-player epilogue to the acclaimed Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction and Ratchet & Clank Futu...

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One of the top 100 weapons of all time!

As rated by IGN, MR Zurkon comes in at #58. We don't take that badly: Zurkon owners know he's No. 1!
Updated: 01/22/2015, tirial
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