Occupy Valentine's Day! Taking on the Romance Industry

Who are the real winners, when you purchase your card and gifts for Valentine's Day?

A Tumblr community microblog has been set up for those asking very pertinent questions about that day. The contributions are pouring in thick and fast.

The members of Occupy Valentine's Day are a mixed bunch. Some are unattached individuals vowing not to give in to feeling inadequate, on a day when society and stores combine to demand a love match.

There is a poignant addition from a young woman, who bought herself an engagement ring. She wished to use it as a shield, so that men didn't keep hitting on her.

Others are married couples refusing to be told that they can't show affection for the remaining 364 days in a year. One husband and wife declared that they will donate to charity the money saved on propping up the romance industry. 'Can't buy me love' is a recurring theme running through the gallery, under declarations that love should be free.

For many, the most appalling aspect of Valentine's Day is how it homes in on a specific kind of love, to the exclusion of all else. Store posters and advertisements focus on heterosexuality, leaving some consumers out in the cold. There is no mention of the depth of feeling afforded to the rest of the family, friends, pets or the wider world.

This emphasis on romantic relationships is one target of protesters. Mothers have posted that they will spend the day with their children, because that is a very worthy kind of love. Sisters are pictured hugging each other, their eyes sparkling above with broad beams. Friendships are lauded throughout, with contributors urging even those in partnerships to spend February 14th with their whole peer group.

Yet for the microblog owner, Occupy Valentine's Day has a deeper message than simply kicking back at a highly restrictive holiday. It can be used to highlight serious consequences caused by society's pressure to purchase and be loved on this day.

'Occupy Valentine’s Day is about changing the culture of romance,' is the stark message given in the information about the campaign.

It is not anti-romantic feeling nor does it seek to ostracise monogamous couples. It merely wants to open up the definition of accepted love and to remove the whole consumer aspect of it.

What those involved wish to see is a frank and open discussion about what this holiday is really about. That is elevating heterosexual, committed couples above the rest of society. It perpetuates the myth that only those in a romantic relationship are worthy of consideration. The emotions of single people, or anyone else in the vicinity, must be put on a back-burner.

Therefore, another way to view the day is in the context of an official mandate to vilify anyone who isn't conforming to the proposed norm of being married with 2.4 children. Many people suffer depression or reduced self-esteem, as a result of being locked out of such a highly publicised day.

Several sources, including a suicide prevention website in Jakarta and the Love Institute in Manila, have reported that failed romance is the number one cause of people taking their own lives.

In a wider context, Valentine's Day is also being used as a focal point to raise awareness of all that can go wrong within relationships, such as domestic abuse, gender inequality or sexual power games. These are not issues which are awarded their own popular holiday to balance that given to the idealised vision of perfect love.

• Blog about how traditional ideas of romance perpetuate gender inequalities and hurt people of all genders

• Share statistics about the growing majority of singles

• Raise awareness about domestic violence and sexual assault like others have

• Not be that douche-y couple on Valentine’s Day—maybe hang out with your best friends, single and otherwise 

• Shout about the lack of queer visibility in sexual rights politics

• Have a sexy conversation by candlelight with your partner about structural inequity

• Make a commitment to have fulfilling, accountable and loving relationships in all parts of your life

• Commit to never settling for anyone that is not good enough for you just because you are afraid to spend another Valentine’s Day alone