People with dementia are going to do some really weird things. Whether it’s putting things up where they don’t belong, accusing others of stealing their things, or asking the same question repeatedly, it’s important to just relax and not take it personally.
So what if things are out of place? When it comes down to it, a cup being put in the wrong cupboard isn't a big deal.
If and when your loved one accuses you of stealing money or their personal items, remember that they're dealing with only their version of reality. Getting angry at them gets you nowhere, and it can make them feel like a burden when they finally realize what really happened.
My mother likes to do the dishes. However, I started noticing clean dishes left all over the counters. I’m not a neat freak, but I hate clutter and I like everything it its proper place. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and I asked why everything was out. She told me it was because she couldn’t remember where anything belonged. That answer broke my heart. I’ve never said anything about it since, and I just know it’s a situation I have to deal with.
A few months ago, she accused me of taking her money she had had in her room. I told her I hadn’t seen it. She wouldn’t let it go, demanding that somebody had taken it. When I told her that she had probably forgotten where she put it, she became angry. I calmly went looking for it in her room and finally found it. She’s done this several times since, and I just ignore her and look for what she claims was taken.
It was hard at first, but her weird behavior has become the accepted norm in my life. By realizing that things like this are going to happen, I've found it's greatly reduced my stress levels.