Super Mario Plush: Piranhas, Pipes and Plants, Oh My

I live in a world where you can buy a cuddly pipe toy, and that is fabulous! 

You can get a plush Mario, Luigi, Peach and all the rest - and that is great - but I think of all the range this one delights me the most.

It's the sheer randomness of it!  The surreal beauty of the fact that I could have a bit of piping to cuddle up to in bed, all in the name of Mario platforming.  Perhaps it's just me.  I'm still giggling every time I see it.

To the uninitiated, Mario is a plumber.  Pipes like this factor a lot in his life.  He generally has to swallow a tiny, blue mushroom to become small enough to crawl inside one.  Or else he's jumping onto them as a means to get along.

When you wish upon a star,
makes no difference who you are...

You will become downright invincible!  Something in your way?  Not a problem!  Your sparkly, twinkling Mario will mow through it like bruises are things that happen to somebody else.

A Starman plush toy is great in its own right, but also think about the actual function of cuddly toys. They exist to protect you from scary things that lurk under the bed.  How perfect for a Star plush!

One of these in your room will see you right, as you encounter all the goombas of life.  Whatever your age.

Stars aren't even close to being the only things floating in the sky to help Mario.  There are coin blocks too!  How many happy hours have I spent banging my pixel head against one? 

Actually, let's not work that out. It would probably be too indicative of my lack of a life.

Alone of all the plush Super Mario toys, the coin block is practical too.  It unzips, so you can add stuff to the container inside.  Parents recommend this for holding all of those tiny Mario figurines.  I see it more for holding more adult treasures. 

The choice is yours.

Of course, not everything in Mario's way is that benign.  Some of the flora and fauna of the Super Mario universe is downright deadly. 

Piranha plants exist in real life too.  At least Venus Flytraps do, and that's pretty much the same thing. They eat flies and other small insects. 

Unfortunately for the platform gamers amongst us, the Nintendo variety eat plumbers too.

I was quietly amused and delighted by the prospect of a pipe toy above.  This is yet another one, but with extras.  I'm just pointing this out, in case those reading know nothing about the game. That's not a plant-pot under the piranha plant.

The natural habitat of your average piranha plant is a pipe.  They live in them, pop their heads out at regular intervals and shoot fireballs at passing plumbers.  Evolution is a wonderful thing.

It's a bomb.  With feet, a fuse, a wind-up key and intelligence. 

There are probably world governments instructing their military to invent these for the real world right now!  Well, there would be, if they weren't keenly aware that a whole generation grew up learning how to thwart them.

They will possibly all be mispronouncing the name too.  I called it Bob-Bomb for months.  My friend called it Bomb-omb.  Both names just look right!  But it's officially Bob-omb anyway.

I was so stuck on this level, the first time I encountered a Bill Blaster in Super Mario Bros.  I don't know what was up with me.  I still dream about trying to get up that hill!

The cheer, when I finally did it, must have been heard for miles.  Happy days.

Thereafter, I could do it every time.  I timed each jump, dodged each Bullet Bill and made it to the top without incident.

For this reason, my main recommendation for the Bullet Bill plush toy is for it to be awarded as a kind of medal.  Accomplishment.  Valor in the field of running up pixel cliff-faces.  That sort of thing.

And if this becomes real, then I deserve one!