The Civility Debate

We've seen or heard the hard core nasty people yelling, screaming and hitting each other on the hot and trendy reality shows.  Rude and outrageous behavior is celebrated in the media, on the television and the Internet. Many even question the civility of our current commander in chief. Remember the phrase,” you are known by the company you keep" or "birds of a feather flock together, do unto others as you would have others do unto you, if you don't have anything good to say, keep it to yourself".

Anyone can make the choice to turn the other cheek, ignore it, call people out or simply set a good example using good manners. 

Considered the impact of reality shows on our society or more importantly our youth?  Think about the escalating issue of bullies in our schools and social sites then imagine how to stop such incidents. Change is needed, “It all starts at home”.  

What to do, Anytime you notice an outrageous reality show blaring in your home, open a dialogue and turn off the pollution. 

Set a standard for your family as to the behavior accepted and expected, after all kids and most adults want to live up to expectations.  Together we can stop society from becoming desensitized to rude and violent behavior.  

Human beings are creatures of habit, reinforcing healthy and positive habits makes a significant change. 

I hope to inspire you to provide the young people in the lives of your children with a solid resource and example from which to learn about civility and manners. There has never been a time when the need has been greater.  I leave a copy of Emily Post the book of Etiquette setting on my coffee table for quick reference and a reminder that in our house, we are civil, well mannered people.

In her book "Emily Post on Etiquette", she writes about a common slogan, "Practice Random Acts of Kindness"  that provoked her thoughts.

Acts of kindness and courtesy behavior need not be deliberate and planned.

Spontaneous acts of kindness are attributes of a person already well-mannered and courteous this persons natural instinct for courtesy is demonstrated in everything he or she does without thought.

The types of traits mentioned above are developed by a consistent method of learning and practicing good manners and behavior from the time a child is born. It becomes a way of life when it is expected and taught throughout life. 

• When dining place napkin on your lap.
• Wait to eat until after the host has started.
• If no host wait for everyone to be seated before eating.
• Keep mouth closed when chewing.
• Take small bites.
• Eat quietly.
• Say excuse me when leaving for the restroom
• Keep your space clean and tidy.
• Never criticize the food or mention what you do not like.
• Sit walk and stand straight, maintaining good posture at all times.
• Laugh, smile, giggle, and cry with dignity, never making a scene.
• Make as little noise as possible in all situations. (when you eat, walk, talk, sit, run etc.) No slurping, chewing noisily, crunching, e.g. cracking knuckles.
• Mobile Phone Etiquette: Do not be occupied with your phone while in the company of others.
• Smile; be interested in your surroundings, never look bored at an event.
• Dress appropriately.  It is rude to call attention to yourself such as wearing jeans to a wedding, dressing sloppy etc. etc.
• Speak properly; pronounce words correctly using proper grammar. Never mumble or speak fast which is inaudible. Avoid slang, calling people by their pet or nick names unless you are close to them. Speak as grammatically correct as you can.
• Never assume anything about anyone in terms of eating out together such as, they are rich, I do not need to pay for lunch,  He is a guy,  I should not offer to pay.
• Never touch another person, their belongings, or children unless invited.