Times change and the manner in which we speak and interact with one another in the present time has many of us yearning for the fast and hard rules of the past. Remember the days when expected to “mind your P’s and Q’s”? Imagine a day with no need to overlook bad, rude or outright indignant behavior, that is right no turning your cheek to avoid confrontation. Have we become a rude anti-social society riddled with little narcissist who have no concern for civility?
The Civility Debate
Review and debate the topic of civility in our society is it alive and well or do we need to work on basic manners, common courtesy and random acts of kindness?
How to Build Positive and Civil Attitudes and Behaviors
Humans are Creatures of Habit
We've seen or heard the hard core nasty people yelling, screaming and hitting each other on the hot trendy reality shows. Rude and outrageous behavior is celebrated in the media, on the television and Internet. Remember the phrase,” you are known by the company you keep" or "birds of a feather flock together".
Anyone can make the choice to turn the other cheek, ignore it, call people out or simply set a good example using good manners regardless of those who act out mirroring what they think may get them noticed or perhaps cast as a reality star.
Considered the impact of reality shows on our society or more importantly our youth? Think about the escalating issue of bullies in our schools and social sites then imagine how to stop such incidents. Change is needed, “It all starts at home”. Anytime you notice an outrageous reality show blaring in your home, open a dialogue and turn off the pollution. Set a standard for your family as to the behavior accepted and expected, after all kids and most adults want to live up to expectations. Together we can stop society from becoming desensitized to rude and violent behavior. Human beings are creatures of habit, reinforcing healthy and positive habits makes a significant change.
Teach Kids About Good Manners and Civility
Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use. ~Emily Post
Allowing or simply over looking the reality TV mentality will send a loud message to your kids not to mention a significant impression.
What you allow in your home sets a standard for everyone. Rude characters fighting, screaming and lashing out at one another purely for entertainment or comedy conditions those exposed to be rude without empathy and socially challenged.
We are creatures of habit, what we are exposed to becomes apart of who we are and the nanner in which others treat us.
A Little Book of Manners for Boys
How Rude!: The Teenagers' Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out
Stop Rude Behavior
Civility and Good Manners Builds Good Self- Esteem
The test of good manners is the ability to be patient with bad ones. ~Gabriel (Solomon ben Yehuda ibn Gabriel), The Choice of Pearls
In order to restore civility in our country we must first start at home.
Making the choice to end a steady flow of reality TV characters in your home makes for a very positive step toward compassion, caring and civility.
Stop right now, think about the characters you invite into your home via television and online content, ask yourself if you object to one of your children mimicking the behavior of said characters?
It is really that simple.
Teach Good Manners
Actions Speak Louder than Words
I admire and respect the work of Emily Post, a great example of proper behavior and manners.
I give those in my life a copy of Emily Posts Etiquette on their 13th birthday. This book makes the perfect party favor for blooming young people.
During my oldest daughters 13th birthday I gave her and all of her guest a copy of Etiquette as both a favor and activity.
The book was well received, the girls became engrossed with the books content. Party guest formed a circle in the middle of our living room reading for over an hour intensely interested in the books focus. This was proof to me that young people are hungry for good sound principles outlining the proper way of doing things.
Emily Post's Etiquette
I hope to inspire you to provide the young people in the lives of your children with a solid resource and example from which to learn about civility and manners. There has never been a time where in the need has been greater. I leave a copy of Emily Post the book of Etiquette setting on my coffee table for quick reference and a reminder that in our house we are civil well mannered people.
The Little Book of Etiquette
A Guide to Manners
Basic Principles for Manners and Etiquette
Old Fashioned Good Manners
- Saying please, thank you and excuse me
- Never intentionally embarrassing another person
- Never talking mainly about oneself
- No gossiping period
- No prying for information from anyone anywhere.
- No asking sensitive or personal questions
- No staring at others, or looking away when spoken to
- No pointing at someone
- Dress appropriately
- No talking loudly
- No asking intrusive personal questions
The Goal Behavior
Naturally Well Mannered
In her book "Emily Post on Etiquette", she writes about a common slogan, "Practice Random Acts of Kindness" that provoked her thoughts.
Acts of kindness and courtesy behavior need not be deliberate and planned.
Spontaneous acts of kindness are attributes of a person already well-mannered and courteous this persons natural instinct for courtesy is demonstrated in everything he or she does without thought.
The types of traits mentioned above are developed by a consistent method of learning and practicing good manners and behavior from the time a child is born. It becomes a way of life when it is expected and taught throughout life.
The Proper Way to Greet Another
Good People Skills and Manners.
How to Address Others, Impressive Them by Using a Proper Greeting
- Smile at others.
- Repeat the person's name introduced to you or those waiting on you, read name tag.
- Remember others name!
- Ask, "how are you" or "how do you do"
- Answer questions with a positive and earnest smile
- Respect social boundaries upon first first meeting.
- Use phrases such as: "nice to meet you" or "lovely meeting you" and "it’s a pleasure"
- Always sit and or stand with good posture and form.
Emily Post's Entertaining
Proper Dining Manners
The Rules for Dining or Eating
- When dining place napkin on your lap.
- Wait to eat until after the host has started.
- If no host wait for everyone to be seated before eating.
- Keep mouth closed when chewing.
- Take small bites.
- Eat quietly.
- Say excuse me when leaving for the restroom
- Keep your space clean and tidy.
- Never criticize the food or mention what you do not like.
- Sit walk and stand straight, maintaining good posture at all times.
- Laugh, smile, giggle, and cry with dignity, never making a scene.
- Make as little noise as possible in all situations. (when you eat, walk, talk, sit, run etc.) No slurping, chewing noisily, crunching, e.g. cracking knuckles.
- Mobile Phone Etiquette: Do not be occupied with your phone while in the company of others.
- Smile; be interested in your surroundings, never look bored at an event.
- Dress appropriately. It is rude to call attention to yourself such as wearing jeans to a wedding, dressing sloppy etc. etc.
- Speak properly; pronounce words correctly using proper grammar. Never mumble or speak fast which is inaudible. Avoid slang, calling people by their pet or nick names unless you are close to them. Speak as grammatically correct as you can.
- Never assume anything about anyone in terms of eating out together such as, they are rich, I do not need to pay for lunch, He is a guy, I should not offer to pay.
- Never touch another person, their belongings, or children unless invited.
Dude, That's Rude!: (Get Some Manners) (Laugh & Learn)
Common Sense Manners
How to be a Good Example of Civility
Good Miscellaneous Manners
- Never talk money, unless being taught or in private family matters. Example;
"How much does it cost?", "What did you pay for that?", "How much do you earn?" etc.
We can renew civility, etiquette and good manners! Go ahead, make your mark on mankind! Anytime you find yourself wondering Is Civility Dead and Can We Get it Back think about the power of your personal example.
Good manners and positive behaviors make others feel good, feeling good is contagious! Go ahead start a feel good epidemic today!