When Anger Becomes Pain

by NanciArvizu

Anger is everywhere; TV, news, movies, malls. Go out in public and you're sure to come into contact with an angry display to some degree.

If we know stress is harmful to our health, why do we continue to build lives that involve stress? Whether it's baggage we've carried for decades or a new annoyance, if it's causing you stress it will eventually turn to anger.

From bullying to abuse to self inflicted thoughts of having been wronged in some way, anger builds until it must be released. Too many times we see how people "implode" and take others with them.

But take a look around. Anger manifests itself in other, less socially violent ways, usually long before extreme measures are taken.

Unfortunately, as a society, we are ill equipped to deal with other peoples emotional pain. We miss the warning signs, sometimes because they simply weren't there, the pain being so well hidden. Other times they stare us in the face and we close our eyes, afraid of what may grab our helping hands should we extend one.

Where Does Pain Begin?

When pain is caused by an injury; a car accident, a wound, surgery, it's easier to understand the lingering effects. The injured and those involved saw the pain from the beginning. They know it will take time to fully heal from the event. There is empathy and compassion for the sufferer.

When pain is caused by the manifestation of other life changes, with no outward sign visible to the sufferer or others, the sufferer faces not only the challenges of managing the pain alone, but also the scrutiny and sometimes scorn of others. If we can't "see" the hurt, how can it exist?

Chronic pain causes do not always show on an x-ray, MRI or CAT scan. They can't be dieted or stretched away. Being told "there's nothing wrong" doesn't make the pain stop.

What the tests and doctors don't see is possibly more important that what they might see. If a test result returns with a "positive" - meaning they see something that is possibly or probably the cause of the pain, a plan is established in order to make the offender disappear. Medical devises such as splints or crutches, physical therapy and sometime surgery can be part of the plan to healing. 

But when they don't actually see something in their results and the pain still exists, it's time to dig deeper into the patients life instead of sending them out the door with a "there's nothing wrong, have a nice life." 

The pain is real and something, somewhere inside the sufferers body, is causing it.

Not So Common Causes

A medical doctor might not consider these causes of pain common; they are not physical injuries that will result in lingering pain. Unfortunately, they are more common that we think.

Childhood Bullying - from peers, family members. Passive aggressive behavior of controlling people effecting the ability to trust in one's own thoughts can cause doubt, anger over poor decisions that have led to stressful life events. 

Relationship Troubles - inability to establish or maintain healthy boundaries with friends, co-workers or love interests. Trust issues surrounding loyalty and money are a constant sore spot, causing arguments that are never resolved.

Our Own Thoughts - Live brings on all kinds of stress and opportunities to think bad thoughts. Perhaps is passing judgement on someone in the grocery line, the jerk who tailgaited you all the way home. We bring up past events and relive them, especially the bad feelings of the moment we're remembering. 

Fear of the Unknown - The future causes fear, only if we let it. When we worry over things that have not yet happened, that may never happen, we unnecessarily create stress and pain. 

In some cases of chronic pain, it might take the knowledge of a different type of professional, like a chiropractor, acupuncturist, or naturopathic medicine. Find a therapist or psychologist to discuss the things in your life you're unable to discuss with friends or family. Don't over look these types of care, you never know what you may discover.




Serious Medical Issues

Chronic Pain has become a serious medical issue, costing millions of dollars a year. The cost is more than money being spent on doctors, surgeries, therapies and drugs. It drains people of energy, it takes away their time. Pain eats away at life and livelihood. 

Fibroid Myalgia. This is a serious, life changing illness that can make the rest of a persons life absolutely miserable. The drugs that are prescribed to sufferers can be just as debilitating as the disease itself. 

Pain from stroke, a lingering effect of brain damage. Many side effects of a mild stroke can become nearly unoticeable, yet the pain left behind stays with the survivor. 

Accidents, illness, disease. Even inflammation from food allergies can cause serious pain, requiring hospital care in some cases. 

If you're beginning to have more pain, more often, don't wait to start seeing your doctor or a specialist. Getting diagnosed early and having a plan to ease and hopefully eliminate pain has a better chance of success if you start sooner rather than later.

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Don't Let Others Tell You It's Not Real

Yes, people will say stupid things. We're human, it's what we do.

But when it comes to understanding pain, the unseen kind, people have a way of wanting to brush it aside with comments like "it's all in your head. Think better thoughts and it will go away."

Yes, some pain can be "all in your head." But just thinking better thoughts is not going to make it stop. Getting proper, qualified help is the only way of getting answers and understanding to what is really going on in your head. 

If you've ever experienced being told your pain isn't real, or having it belittled by someone else's tale of "worse" - trying to one up you - you know that trying to convince them is a waste of time. Let them tell their story, let them continue to be ignorant of your story. It's not important to them and you trying to punch it into their brain isn't going to work in your favor.  

Being told over and over again that your pain is not real leads to more frustration and ultimately more anger. 

The only person you have to convince is your doctor. And they are more likely to believe you from the start: You're in their office, aren't you?


Keep Searching For Answers

The most important thing is to never give up. While the pain may never truly vanish, chronic, debilitating pain must eventually be solved. But you can only be healed if you don't quit looking for your solution.

Trying everything that makes sense to your situation may not help you, but it could help others in their search for relief. Finding support groups to share and discuss information and stories can lead you to new procedures or medicines that you might not have heard of in your usual doctor/friends/family circle. 

And when you do find relief, share your story, the whole story. When people are in pain, they feel isolated and without hope. Sharing a story of perseverance and victory - no matter how hard or how small - can inspire others to keep trying. 

Articles by Nanci Arvizu

So many people suffer with chronic pain. Pain that debilitates even though there is no outwardly sign of an injury.
Meditation is said to help heal the body and mind in many ways. As a newbie to the practice with a little more than a year under my belt, I'm taking a look at the journey.
How important is sharing content you read online? What does sharing have to do with success?
Updated: 09/28/2016, NanciArvizu
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DerdriuMarriner on 07/11/2017

NanciArvizu, The situation gets even more challenging and complicated when it's referred pain.

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