Why I Loathe ‘LOL’

LOL, WTF, FTW, BTW, ROFL, LMAO and a host of other abbreviations, most of which I am too old to be privy to (I’m in my twenties, in case you’re wondering), are everywhere I turn. Now, I know these ‘textisms’ have a purpose; they save you time and character spaces when you’re writing a text message. And, although I choose not to use them myself, I can completely understand why someone would.

They have a function and if you want to respond to someone, via text message, to tell him or her that a joke was so hilarious that you were rolling around the floor for hours, clutching your stomach, until your sides hurt, then ROFL is a much more time efficient way of doing so. I get it, really I do!

What I cannot get my head around is why LOL and similar abbreviations have gone from that very functional use to being bandied about in places where the desire to reduce character length and fiddly texting time is not a factor. For example, I see LOL splattered liberally all over the status updates, comments and pictures of my friends’ Facebook pages. I have even seen LOL in a handwritten note. There’s no character limit when you use a good old fashion pen, so why the need for an abbreviation?

And the reason is two-fold: First, texting has made a lot of people incredibly lazy when it comes to communicating in written form. And second, so often, when LOL is written, the person doesn't really mean that they have laughed out loud at all.

Like evil Superman in Superman III, LOL seems to have taken on a life of its own. If we’re not careful, LOL will end up straightening the leaning tower of Pisa.

A couple of days ago, a friend of mine posted a picture on Facebook of her two new bunnies. Beneath, she wrote, “This is Harry and Reggie LOL.”

Now, perhaps I’m missing something, maybe rabbits called Harry and Reggie are extremely amusing…but I doubt it. And even if there is something humorous about the names, It’s certainly not laugh out loud worthy, is it?

I like to think I have quite a healthy sense of humor, with a broad range of things that tickle me. But there are very few things that actually make me laugh out loud. This is especially true when we’re talking about a text message, Facebook status, online article or even a book for that matter. When something really does make me laugh out loud, it's because it is very funny!

But many people ram LOL on the end of every, usually mundane, sentence. “I’m just going to clean my car LOL” or “Felt baby kick for the first time LOL” or “Just found my husband in bed with another woman LOL!”

Have these people been dipping into their own private stash of nitrous oxide? No, they’re not really laughing at all. It’s simply that LOL has, for some, come to be a standard finisher.

Any phrase should now be closed with an LOL, because…well, why exactly?

It’s ugly, it’s lazy and it’s a bastardization of the English language, but all of that I could overlook (just about), if LOL actually meant something. If the abbreviation referred to the words that they are supposed to represent, I would be able to handle it.

The thing that really gets on my nerves about LOL is that it’s used in completely the wrong circumstances; as though the writer doesn’t have a clue what the letters stand for.

And, of course, because LOL has now lost all meaning, when someone really wants to suggest that something has made them chuckle, they need to use a stronger textism - an abbreviation that will mean ‘yeah, that really, honestly, truly did make me laugh’, like: LMAO or ROFL.

And these also annoy me, because, again, they’re being used inappropriately. I don’t think anybody in the history of the universe has ever laughed so hard that they’re lost their derriere, and, let’s be honest, with the exception of small children, who rolls around on the floor chuckling? Don’t get me wrong, we adults should do more of it, but, the truth is, we don’t.

Okay, so it’s hyperbole, maybe it’s not meant to be taken literally.

But, here’s one out of the box: Why can’t we actually write what we mean? If something made your lips quirk in the hint of a smile, don’t write “LOL”, write “That made me smile.” Yes it may take a few seconds longer, but if you’re not trying to reduce your length, for a text message or tweet, then why the heck not take those few extra seconds?

And, in actual fact, people are spending an accumulation of hours typing L, O and L, when it’s completely unnecessary. You know, I remember the good old days, when a phrase, such as, “Two weeks until my wedding day,” or “Puppy’s just made a mess in the middle of the brand new carpet,” would be closed with a simple punctuation mark. Was that so awful?