You should never trust

by humagaia

Today on twitter the trending topic was #youshouldnevertrust. It was so amusing that I just had to share some of the tweets ....paraphrased

This is just a bit of fun.

A chance for you to relax for once. Put your feet up on the desk and do a little contemplation.

You deserve it. You have worked hard and now it is your time.

Dip your biscuit in your coffee (or tea, if you are in the UK), but quick mind, you don't want to lose the lot into the mug.

And add a few ideas of your own at the end!

Paraphrased Twitter Tweets for...........

#youshouldnevertrust

In no particular order the following tweets against #youshouldnevertrust were my favorites.

#youshouldnevertrust

Think......
Think......
  • anyone who says "I won't tell anyone"
  • anyone but yourself
  • people who gossip
  • anyone that promises you fame
  • anyone that promises you fortune
  • people that only talk to you when they need something
  • a pretty girl with an ugly secret
  • anything that can think for itself
  • Ex's that claim to be best friends
  • anyone tweeting you that has an Egg as an Avatar
  • anyone tweeting you that has a sexy description of themselves
  • anyone with MLM in their profile
  • anyone that breaks their promises
  • anyone who says "see you there at 8"
  • anyone who does not admit when they are wrong
  • people who say "trust me"
  • anyone that does not look you in the eye when they talk to you
  • a child that is playing quietly in the other room
  • anyone who does not like dogs
  • anyone who does not treat their kids well
  • a face-down cell phone
  • a man with a perm
  • yourself when you are in love
  • someone not there when you need them
  • someone that can never be happy for you
  • anyone that says they have changed
  • anyone that says they will change
  • a desperate person in desperate times
  • people you meet on Twitter
  • a man with a bunch of watches on the inside of his jacket
  • your heart when your mind is in doubt
  • anyone with a clipboard
  • someone with webbed fingers and toes
  • a man in a blue trench coat
  • a guy with an empty inbox
  • anyone that won't let you answer their phone when it rings
  • someone that says "I'm on my way"
  • a salesperson that says 'to be completely honest with you'
  • people who do not know the difference between you're and your
  • a man asking for help to find his dog and will give you candy to help him
  • your girl alone with your best friend
  • someone who constantly compliments you

There were many more, but these were the best that I saw. Here are some others that I would add:

  • any unsolicited mail
  • a skype request from someone with a name like sherrie142 or kisses12 (sorry if you are either of these)
  • any intermediary passing on an offer
  • anyone with the self-styled title of 'guru'
  • anyone with a cheesy grin as an avatar
  • anyone you cannot find their full details for on the internet
  • a credit consolidator
  • a property realtor in a suit and tie
  • a chef who does not look overweight
  • anyone that says 'we only source locally'
  • a fisherman with a grenade
  • a boat full of trash off the coast of a West African country
  • a politician
  • the head of state of any country in the world
  • countries not signing up to condemn Syria
  • soldiers invading any country
  • any country saying that they are invading another country for the good of the people
  • anyone asking for a super-injunction
  • any of Rupert Murdoch's newspapers or television channels
  • any of Rupert Murdoch's reporters

Do you have any?

Updated: 02/17/2012, humagaia
 
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humagaia on 02/20/2012

@Yeirl
Humagaia

If you believe that.....................

Yeirl on 02/20/2012

May I have a list of people I can trust now?

humagaia on 02/17/2012

you should never trust someone who tweets all the time

humagaia on 02/16/2012

A couple more:
#youshouldnevertrust
someone selling 'snake oil'
someone who jumps on the bandwagon
anyone with more than a complement of 10 digits either dexterously or pedally
anyone with a forked tongue

humagaia on 02/12/2012

What about: #youshouldnevertrust
a fox
someone with eyes in the back of their head
someone who can revolve their head through 180 degrees
anyone you can see through
anyone whose eyebrows meet in the middle
a woman with a beard
a woman who closes her legs when you throw something into her lap
a woman who doesn't say anything when you know you have upset her

humagaia on 02/11/2012

Come on guys there must be more you can think of.

humagaia on 02/11/2012

@Sheila - as a Brit, I cannot possibly comment on the first one, but I can relate to and concur with the other two.
Thanks for the input.

sheilamarie on 02/11/2012

Fun list. How about:
Promises from a U.S. presidential candidate,
Someone who claims they've got a secret to share with you about how to make a lot of money on the internet,
A parenting expert who is childless.

humagaia on 02/08/2012

This one just caught my eye when it went viral - thought I's share the #hashtag - links nicely with your article 'What is a Hashtag'

katiem2 on 02/08/2012

WOW this hashtag business is really going nuts aye? Enjoyed reading the list and I must say, I've developed a new fresh interest in twitter. I like the changes.

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