50 Funny Facebook Status Update Ideas

by TilenHrovatic

50 funny and cool ideas for Facebook status updates. Awesome quotes and cool jokes that will surely make your Facebook friends laugh and share your next update.

Welcome to the page with awesome and funny ideas for your next status update on Facebook. Here you can find some really cool and inspiring quotes and saying to share on Facebook and make your friends laugh. Why just post boring stuff on your wall when you can update your network with something fresh and cool like these status ideas below? Make their day, share these updates.

Below is a list of my 50 favorite quotes and funny sayings to post on your wall. If you scroll to the end of the page you can find some related links where you can find even more cool and funny status update ideas for Facebook and you can also share some feedback about these quotes in a poll.

If you like these ideas you will probably like some realated products that feature Facebook humor. If you look to the right of the list you can find some cool pictures, graphics, posters and T-shirts with Facebook related humor and quotes.

But this page is not just about jokes and funny quotes. If you read on you'll discover some great opportunities that these quotes can bring you. I wrote a few interesting facts and tips that will help you to make money online and expose your affiliate network with these cool updates and jokes. And I'm not kiding at all! I managed to really expose my network on Twitter and really increase my sales on Zazzle and some other stores, thanks to some of these awesome jokes below!

50 Best Funny Facebook Status Update Ideas

  1. I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now. 
  2. I said “no” to drugs, but they simply wouldn’t listen. 
  3. My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it. 
  4. Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (and in a big font)! 
  5. I’m cle’a[ni.ng m'y' ke]yb36oa;rd. 
  6. Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it. 
  7. Don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t sell drugs. The government hates competition! 
  8. X has decided to start having a balanced diet for a change – a beer in each hand! 
  9. X says how comes we live in a world where a pizza arrives before the police?
  10.  is wondering if he is too old to run away from home? 
  11. just realised MR OWL ATE MY METAL WORM is exactly the same backwards 
  12. What is fat, ginger and pregnant? Nothing.. 
  13. slept like a baby last night…. Waking up every 3 hours crying for food. 
  14. wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime. 
  15. X is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
  16.  ║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║█║▌│║▌║█║▌║▌││║▌║ *ZAP* *BEEP* Price: $7.95 
  17. Dear Santa, let me explain… I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. 
  18. Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate. Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions. 
  19. ٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶ 
  20. if only life came with a ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP 
  21. Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart. 
  22. I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
  23.  People who write diet books live off the fat of the land. 
  24. Dance like no one’s going to put it on YouTube. 
  25. Best Friends Listen to what you dont say.
  26.  Just wanted to let you know that you are my BFBFF… Best Facebook Friend Forever.. 
  27. So many stupid people, and so few asteroids. 
  28. X thinks that Facebook is the compost heap for my brain. 
  29. Yes, I know how to shut up. I just don’t know when. 
  30. You miss 100 percent of the shots u never take. 
  31. Me and the gummy bears have a plot to rule the world but shhhhh its a secret.
  32.  I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time. 
  33. Sometimes? Late at night? I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged. 
  34. I guess if you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless, huh? 
  35. X thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
  36.  I’m not a racer….But i can fly. 
  37. press the star below and watch it glow
  38.  ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ click star then up arrow to left to reveal status. 
  39. I think my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet. 
  40. X just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last. 
  41. X believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free. 
  42. ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ 
  43. Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips. 
  44. ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ 
  45. X is Loading ████████████ 99% 
  46. Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF? X
  47.  is coloring on your wall! ((̲̅ ̲̅(̲̅C̲̅r̲̅a̲̅y̲̅o̲̅l̲̲̅̅a̲̅( ̲̅̅((> 
  48. X remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
  49. Some things man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google.
  50. I'm so poor I can't even pay attention. ~ Ron Kittle

Funny Facebook Updates and Marketing

how to use these cool quotes to expose your products and sites

If you're an affiliate marketing you're probably using Facebook or Twitter or both to promote your sites and affiliate products. You reach huge audience and you target the right costumers who are interested in your promoted products and sites. But you should know that marketing isn't just about sharing links and waiting for sales. It's about network, audience and trust. You must get in touch with your potential costumers and show them that you're not just some anonymous guy behind the computer. This is networking.

You also need to be cool and sometimes innovative to reach more audience and to expand your network. Expanding the network is probably one of the most important parts in internet marketing. The bigger the audience the bigger the chances of sales. It's like having a store in a small village or having a store in New York. You have same stuff to sell but the percentage of actual sales rises when you have more potential costumers.

And now let's move to the topic of this paragraph again. How to use these quotes to expand your network and drive more traffic to your affiliate products and stores. I started with Facebook and Twitter and then use some other networks to and I really saw an increase in my earnings. So I'm talking here based on my own experiences and reports. Just post them! Share these status updates on your social networks and then include the link of some product or store. You can't imagine how much visibility you'll got. Post some status on Twitter, include some related hastags and some shortened affiliate link of yours. If you have some followers they will retweet your update and their friends will retweet it if they'll like it. These things go global pretty soon :) Sooner or later you'll have your affiliate links on dozens of Twitter profiles and others will promote your links for you! It's that simple and it really works! Second best things is that you will expose your Twitter profile and gain followers for your updates and promotions in the future!

It's quite the same with Facebook. Post an update an include some related affiliate link that your friends or fans will probably check out. Then share it on your profile and fan pages. Your friends will use the Facebook "Share" button to share your update with their friends and the beat will go on and on. You'll soon have your affiliate links exposed to an audience of thousands!

Make Money Online with Funny Facebook Quotes

how to use this list to make money online

Now that we know how to use these quotes for marketing reasons we can talk more about making money directly with these sayings. And the answer is design! Zazzle, CafePress, RedBubble and some other providers of online stores with your own designs will let you to put these quotes on products, add some images (or not) and put them for sales. You will be amazed how many folks are looking for products that feature funny quotes like the ones above.

But be a little different. Don't just copy and paste the quote and leave it in its default font! Use your own font, add some graphics, use some nice templates and create a funny and awesome design that you would like to wear it yourself! And remember, funny shirts are one of the best selling products on Zazzle and CafePress. Be sure to use this information for your own good and for better Zazzle paychecks!

Do you like 50 Funny Facebook Status Update Ideas?

More Cool and Funny Ideas for Facebook Status Updates

even more cool and funny quotes and sayings

Funny and Cool Facebook Status Ideas
Are you looking for funny quotes for you status update on Facebook? The ones that will make your friends laugh?

Funny Facebook Status Ideas
More ideas and quotes fro cool and funny status updates for your Facebook wall.

Cool Quotes for Facebook Status Update | Webupon
Here you have some really cool, funny and interesting quotes to write on your Facebook wall. Include one of these quotes in you next status update on Facebook and make your friends laugh and think.

Updated: 08/28/2011, TilenHrovatic
 
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Thi Duong Nguyen on 10/17/2012

http://www.bestonfacebook.com has some pretty funny status updates

akbarbd007 on 10/11/2012

Hi Threre,

I don't know, how I came here by surfing one after another. Finally felt good. Thanks for the ideas, I may share lot of them. I may need to come back here again and again.

You can have a look on
[url=http://www.bestonfacebook.com]top funny pictures sites[/url]

funny stuff on 03/20/2012

thanks for made me laugh , i needed it today ,
http://www.squidoo.com/funny-motivati...

aupneetboparai on 03/20/2012

nice list of facebook statuses, u must have worked really hard for this. you can collect more from http://www.123status.com

Emma on 01/20/2012

Some of these are really funny - especially the after monday and tuesday the rest of the week is wtf.... never really thought about it before.

Thanks for a good few minutes laugh - and that was just the amount of time it took me to read the upside down one.

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