I know several women who are quick to say, "I'm not a feminist." In fact, they're so quick to say it that you'd think being identified as a feminist was akin to being identified as a Nazi sympathizer.
Feminism is seen as outdated, no longer necessary and, intrinsically, anti-man. So, I suppose, women who claim fervently that they're NOT feminist are trying to separate themselves from these negative connotations. But just because something has gained a bad reputation, doesn't mean it should be shunned.
Feminism still has a crucial role to play, whether we like it or not. And the solution to our still horribly unequal world is not to cast off the label 'feminist', but to reclaim it for the force of good it has been and continues to be.
So, just to clear up a few misconceptions, here are five things that feminism most definitely isn't.
If you're a feminist that must mean you hate men, right? Oh, so very wrong. But this notion is, sort of, understandable. After all, the goals of feminism are to dismantle the old-fashioned patriarchal view, and I guess it's easy to confuse that with attacking the whole male gender. 
Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive, and bra burning wasn't the feminists of the 60s way of trying to become more masculine.
Of course you can be a feminist and be a domestic goddess!
As mentioned above, in order for feminism to achieve all of its goals, it needs men.
The other main reason friends and acquaintances of mine have no interest in feminism is because they think it has no relevance in the modern world.
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Comments
I regard myself as neither masculinist nor feminist, but as one who believes that human beings have two complementary biological sexes, each fully equal.Both sexes and all genders should respect each other.
That pay gap is incredible, but it reflects the fact that many men don't take well to having a woman as boss. It will take us a long time to shake this :)
Well done!
Hi ClassicalGreek. I agree completely, female empowerment isn't just good for women. It's a great thing if a couple can share financial responsibility for a home and/or family. I'm all for two people finding a system that works for them, of course. But women having a CHOICE is what's key, and what is, ultimately, good for everybody involved.
'Schrodinger's Rapist' is a very accurate way to describe how most women feel. And it's so sad that some men get very defence (for instance with the #YesAllWomen trend), and refuse to accept that sexism is endemic. More worrying is that casual sexism is so often dismissed as harmless, when it's anything but. It's the seemingly trivial things that make up a culture in which, sadly, women are regularly viewed with contempt.
Unfortunately, with easy access to pornography (and the unpleasant portrayal of femininity that comes with it), I don't think attitudes will improve with the coming generations - if anything, they'll get worse. Drastic shifts need to take place if we stand any hope of attaining real equality.
To my way of thinking, feminists are pro-men as well. For example, whether in a marriage or society at large, a woman in the workforce frees up a position for a man who prefers to stay home (some men really are domestically-minded). A woman who earns equal pay frees up a man to start a business that might not produce revenue for years, or go into a profession that he loves that pays less, because he doesn't feel he has to earn as much. When women can take the responsibility for themselves, men are freed from the pressures of supporting and protecting them.
I have nothing against the traditional marriage or relationship, either, if that is the choice of both people.
I agree that the violence towards and degradation of women must stop before we poison yet another generation. We must teach the men in our lives to be more aware. I read a fabulous term on a blog that perfectly expresses the fear each woman feels: Schrödinger's Rapist. Add physical, psychological, and emotional abuse to that concept, and you've got what every woman must deal with.
Great article!
Great article, Sam; loved the comments as well. I agree that the "have it all" culture is part of the problem. You lose track of the bigger picture, how you fit in a puzzle with others, by trying to be everything. I think there's a lot of pressure nowadays on both genders, especially as the economic crisis hit so many people very hard.
Going back to that "be everything" idea though for a moment, I don't think there should be a choice between CEO and chocolate cake; just people doing what they're better suited for (and that can mean both CEO and cake), and with energy and time to help others and be with others as well. :) Well, that's an ideal scenario, but I see women pushed by their families to go into certain professions that are not of their own choosing, and women who do go into the professions of their own choosing losing track of what being a true friend means, etc., because they learn to boss everyone around, including their friends. It's not all their fault though: there's a lot of pressure on all of us to be "successful," make enough money, be with our families, so sometimes there's not enough time to be friendly enough.
I agree with many here that self-employment can be a great answer for many women and men.
Sounds like things in the Chazer and Beswick households run as, I think, all homes should run. Respect and appreciation for the work the other does (regardless of how 'menial' the task may seem), is key in helping us reach that point of equality. 'Cause that's really what it all boils down to: respect (and that swings both ways).
Should there be more women in top ranking corporate jobs? Absolutely! Should we be telling women that's what they HAVE to do? Clearly not. Besides, since when did ambition to be a CEO preclude the ambition to make a damn good chocolate cake? It doesn't have to be one or other other. Although, I admit, this 'have it all' culture simply doesn't work...and that's true for both genders.
The account that you give is very positive. It is very much the same in my marriage, which is now thirty five years long. But she does not let me share the cooking, though I can cook. So the division is that I grow the food, she cooks it, and I wash up. She cares part time for her aged parents, but I have insisted that she makes care decisions and I back them up by doing what I am asked to do.
Now there you have me, Frank. I'd not mind to be a CEO, but I don't like managing people. I'm not generally a 'people person' and I dislike those who are not pulling their weight as much as I dislike those who throw it around. So I think I might also be one of those women who runs her own business rather than someone else's. I'm still going to keep some work outside the home for now, at least, while I work on building my own work within the home.
As far as equal distribution of tasks goes, my husband and I have different assigned tasks in our relationship: he does more driving than me, disposes of unwanted intruders (usually insect life) puts things on high shelves and helps with the washing up and dusting, plus paying for more than his fair share of the food. He also books holidays, handles phone calls and the social diary. I look after the washing, the rest of the washing up and much of the cleaning, the finances and paperwork, outgoing post, birthday cards, presents, incidental shopping and dealing with tradesmen. It works quite well. We share the cooking. He maintains the car, I clean it. I empty the bins into the appropriate bags before he removes them to the dustbins; he also puts the bins out for collection every week, whichever bin it is.
We are considered quite unusual among our friends as I'm happy for him to go off to coding parties and church events with his mates without me. We never forget that we had interests before we met, which we still maintain now we're married. But I still think we'll end up like that American couple who were married 70 years and died within 15 hours of each other.
I dislike quantification of equality [50:50]. It seems to be associated with the notion that men and women share every task equally. There is no wrong in this, but as long as each side gives equally to a relationship there can be differences in what each does.
In Britain many women are realizing the advantages of self-employment, as it allows them to control their own working lives and juggle them with their home lives far more easily than employment does. They develop a portfolio of profitable activities.
Recently someone publicly declared that she was disappointed that many girls think that aspiring to be a CEO is less desirable than aspiring to make a perfect chocolate cake, and that we should encourage all girls to have the CEO aspiration. But as a male, I would rather bake a good cake [fruit cake, my favourite] than be a CEO. I,along with many women, wouldlike to live a geninely human life.