I hate American Idol - my prediction for 2011

Up until this season, I've never really followed American Idol. A little peek here and there, a few laughs at Simon's antics, a few groaners at what's-her-face...I had definitely more important things to do.

Things changed when earlier this year I caught a glimpse of this season's 13 finalists. A glimpse turned into a closer look. The closer look turned into a hook in my, well, mind or heart or what-have-you. I was hooked, that is.

So I'd arrange my work schedule in a way that allowed me to flop down on the 'easy' at 7 p.m., Central Standard/Daylight/Sunshine Appreciation/Whatchamacallit Time. Sharp.

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Many moons ago, when I was still young and springy-limbed, I did exactly that for a living what American Idol is doing today: discovering talent. Only back then - the old-fashioned way. I traveled around Germany as a record company rep visiting small-town song contest and torturing myself through demos sent to my office. Don't wanna digress...just sayin' (for whatever it's worth) - I look at something like American Idol perhaps with a little more of an analytical mind than the average viewer.

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Back to our 13 finalists. I couldn't believe my ears and eyes when I watched their performances, especially those of Haley, Casey and James. Not only know these guys how to sing, they also have incredible personalities and absolutely unique ways of artistic expression.

Later on I took a real liking to Scotty ("the body"). 16 years old, with a voice like a seasoned crooner, and with more self-confidence than Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli on steroids.

However, around the beginning of the last month of the season, a new star was born on my celestial ceiling: Lauren. I don't know what she did, or what happened to her mind, or what else. She turned the whole thing around and---in my humble opinion--- made it her own.

It was as if this 15-year-old teenager had changed overnight into a superb performance artist. All of a sudden, her songs touched me deep in my heart. Perhaps not so much the songs, but rather her interpretations. This young woman not only sings from the heart, she actually radiates her love and passion for her music outward and into the hearts of the audience.

So, without further ado, one week before the finals, I'm going to predict the winner of American Idol 2011.

You guessed it, it's Lauren Alaina.

This article was published in the a.m. of May 19.

Tonight, after 50 minutes of abysmal ignorance of the top 3 contestant's talent---don't you get it, producers...we want to hear them sing, not your latest acts (Randy?) in need of exposure---Scotty and Lauren made it to the finals. Haley took it in stride. She'll be a huge star.

Mr. Seaweed's announcement said it all:

• Next week's last competition show will last one hour
• The final results will be presented during a two-hour show.

Get ready for at least 90 minutes of useless crap.

Congratulations to Scotty! (And all other contestants, too!)