Joys of Keyword Research - The Funnies ;-)

by Sam

Internet marketing and keyword research are going together like earth quakes and tectonic plates, but sometimes keyword research can result in some earth shattering laughter ;-)

Keyword research can be dull, repetitive and boring, ok, unless you are a data and stats nerd like me, that just devours yummy data. But there is a hidden, joyful side to the task. One that gives you a glimpse on how the human mind works and what the deepest desires of the human soul are ;-) Here my latest favorites of keyword research gone funny. Sit back and enjoy. If you want to write about one of these keyword phrases, please don't hesitate to drop me a note and I will gladly include a link to your finished work in this article - don't forget to add a bit of humor to it, the true spice of online writing!

Best fans in the world

A staggering 6,600 people discuss monthly who are the 'best fans in the world', really? Are these the so-called celebrities or are these the fans that want to be better than other fans? Kind of makes me wonder ...

Or are these people that are actually looking to buy a fan, like those on the left. Not sure if they are the 'best fans in the world', but they are pretty popular at Amazon at the moment ;-)

Best Fans - on Amazon

Lasko Personal Fan, 6 Inches, White, 2002W
Lasko
Only $16.25

How to become humble

Kind of frightening that only 140 searchers each month have the noble goal of becoming more humble. And me wonders also why they turn to the interwebs for their quest, but perhaps they are already too humble to ask a real person???

Humility on Wikipedia

... or is that a contradiction in terms?
Humility is the quality of being modest and respectful. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, being connected with notions of transcendent unity with the universe ...

Try different keywords try more general keywords try fewer keywords

That one looks like 22 very desperate internet marketers to me. Try different keywords try more general keywords try fewer keywords - 22 people look every month for this search string. My suggestion to them would be - try to find keywords you actually know something about ;-)

How to become rich overnight

How to become rich overnight, that is the question 320 people ask the Google search engine each month. And with the economy as it is, I predict with authority that this number will increase as times go by ...

But seriously now, whilst I can't sell you the secret on 'how to get rich overnight' I can tell you with authority how NOT to get rich overnight:

  • Playing around on Facebook will NOT make you rich overnight!
  • Buying the newest shiny tool that a self-proclaimed internet marketing guru flocks via his email list will NOT get you rich over night!
  • Buying more ebooks on how to make money online will NOT make you rich over night!

But if you are serious about the whole business and willing to put some really hard work into it, you can always sign up here at Wizzley (it is free!) and start writing. Over time you will make a nice, additional income from it, that I know as a fact ;-)

Wanna get rich over night and lose weight? Then this book is for you ;-)

Attention, this book might change the way you look at things, click image for a glimpse of the content.
Loaded!: Become a Millionaire Overnight and Lose 20 Pounds in 2 Wee...
$16.99  $2.54

How to become king

... or queen, depending on your gender ;-)

170 people each month rack their brains about 'How to become king', I haven't checked the amount that are looking to become a queen, but I guess it is similar ;-) So, just for you, here some easy ways to become a king or a queen:

Easiest and most secure one: Make sure you are born into a reigning royal family, preferable as the first born - your success will be guaranteed!

Marry one: This one is more for the prospective queens, as the best that men that marry into royal houses can expect to achieve is becoming prince consort. Not bad, but also not the real deal ;-)

Found a kingdom: Yup, just get your hands on a piece of land and declare it to be the 'kingdom of whatever name you chose'. Has been done before, a great story how it worked on the link on the right! ...

Marrying a prospective King

... doesn't work out well always.
Princess Diana: The Amazing Life and Tragic Death of The Queen of H...

Kingdom of Wallachia

"Kingdom of Wallachia", named after the region of Moravian Wallachia, is a tongue-in-cheek micronation that was founded in 1997 by the photo...

How to become immortal

The quest for immortality sends a staggering 1000 people each month on online research. How to become immortal is what they are looking for and what they find are mainly offers of freezing their body after their death in the hope that they can be revived in a more advanced future, but there are other ways to become immortal:

  • Do something for others, not for yourself and you will become immortal in the hearts of many people.
  • Write a great piece of music, paint a master piece or write a book that becomes a bestseller are ways to, temporary immortality, at least until somebody comes that does it better then you ;-)
  • Have children and raise them well - you will live in them and their children and grand children for many generations to come!

How to become invisible

Oh, sometimes I wish I would know how to become invisible and so are 1,000 more people every single month ;-) Being invisible at will has some real advantages like avoiding people you really don't want to meet or simply being able to sneak up undetected on people on Halloween to yell 'Booo!'

Whilst there is no warranty that it works, the invisibility cloak on the right is actually for sale on Amazon and for more Harry Potter goodies check out my articles at the list below:

Harry Potter is my, not so secret, addiction! Here all my articles I have published so far about this subject on Wizzley.

How to become God???

Are you really sure you want that job? Seriously, are 320 people each month looking for 'how to become God' and do they know what they would get themselves into? First one problem, if you are a believer, you know that the job is taken already and if you are a non-believer, also called an atheist or agnostic, you don't believe in the job in the first place - so why do you want something that you don't believe in???

For a really funny, but still thought provoking story, check out the movie below. I don't want to spoil it for you, but just imagine for a moment that you would hear every single prayer uttered on this planet, every single moment ... Do you really want to become God???

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The Keyword Tool I Use

... for serious research and a bit of added fun ;-)

Click the image if you want to try it out for free!

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Updated: 06/26/2012, Sam
 
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treasuresabound on 01/22/2013

Had a good laugh especially the one part about how to become King? Nice job and thanks for sharing.

Sam on 10/13/2012

Now there is a nice idea for you for an article here "How to become a vampire / werewolf' ;-) But yes, some keyword researches are scary ...

belinda342 on 10/12/2012

Fun page! My favorite keyword researches so far was when I was looking up phrases for Vampire and Werewolf (I write Urban Fantasy on the side). A surprising number of people each month would like to know how to become vampires and werewolves! Kind of scary, if you think about it...

Sam on 10/01/2012

You are welcome Roy!

WizzRoy on 10/01/2012

Had a good laugh. Thanks.

Sam on 09/03/2012

Thanks a lot Mira, now that we can see directly here on Wizzley what keywords brought somebody to our articles I feel a new idea taking shape - "Funniest keyword - article mismatches" ;-)

Mira on 09/03/2012

You're really talented :-) I had a great time reading this article. Will certainly look forward to any new article from you, and will make sure I read all your past ones: you have convinced me with this piece and another one I commented on previously that it's worth it :-)

Sam on 08/14/2012

Thanks Crissaegrim! I am not sure about the genius bit, but I am glad I made you laugh ;-) SY

Crissaegrim on 08/14/2012

This is one really made me laugh. You are a genius!

Sam on 07/23/2012

@cabmgmnt, if you do so, pm me the link to your article here on Wizzley and I included it in this one ;-) SY


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