Decoding - Life Isn't Fair - And Who This Really Affects

by Jerrico_Usher

This phrase is heard all too often, here's what it means and why people shouldn't say it

When I was growing up this was my favorite and most overused phrase- "Life isn't fair". Truth is Life is absolutely fair if your attitude is fair- but unfortunately most people's attitudes are anything but fair- even if they don't realize it. When life doesn't seem to make sense or they want to "blame" others, people tend to think they got jacked out of their "fair" shake. To really properly judge life and what fairness truly is, you have to first learn to take responsibility for your life. Second you have to realize that life doesn't work for you, you work for it.

Many think of life (as they think it "should" be) like a fair ground, all fun and no problems, but life is about more than just living and being happy. Happiness is often derived from pain or contrasted from it and if pain didn't exist we'd have no concept of pleasure. In this article I'm going to attempt to explain why life isn't fair for some but it is for others- not actually, but mentally...

Fair

Those With "Entitlement" Issues NEVER Think Life Is Fair

The people who say life isn't fair the most are often those people who try to get by doing the least possible, and expect the most to go their way. These people think that the world owes them one because they did a few good things (possibly even in selfishness labeling it as selfless) but don't take any responsibility for those things they did that were, not so good.

They did a few things and thought they got away with them, but in reality they didn't, life keeps track, or the universe if you will. Karma is the universal score keeper, and believe me it is completely fair. This is not to say that it's fair and with good timing (as far as you perceive), but it IS fair. Not everything is easily discernible but it IS the result of choices you made that lead to a path your currently on and the events happened on.

What isn't fair is getting away with doing things that were unethical and unfair to other people and thinking that life wouldn't catch up to them.

Even good people are hit with what seems unfair, but in the end everything we do, every movement we make, every choice we make, along with the 8 billion people on this planet, all affect everything else. Life is actually much bigger than yourself- even YOUR Life! We're all here together and it takes work not to clash... Everyone wants things, wants this or that but getting it is not just automatic. Life's not designed that way.

A Simple Choice - Not So Simple

A simple choice may have drastic repercussions for someone you've never even met or even run into- it's a chain reaction. Taking responsibility for your life is the only way to navigate this river easily. Lack of responsibility blinds people to the truth.

Entitlement is often born of others being enablers, and the chain never stops with reasons and why's- not always up to what we wanted to hear or become aware of but definitely fair. I like to change the way the phrasing works to make it more accurate- "Life Isn't FREE". When you put it that way it all makes sense doesn't it?

Balance

Judgment Day Is Today

Thinking that "judgment day" was something that only happens when you die and enter the pearly gates of heaven is naive, truth is judgment day is every day, every second, every moment, every choice. It's not god judging you, or anyone else, it's your own actions set into motion via the law of cause and effect/karma.

The irony of life is that we're here to learn and evolve spiritually. That comes with a lot of abrasive lessons that come at the most optimal time (not your optimal but the overall big picture) to teach you and allow you to grow.

Taking responsibility for your life is profoundly powerful and if you truly embrace this ideal, you'll never again say life isn't fair- because you'll realize life is what you make it, what you put into it and what goes in comes out usually amplified and at the worst possible time (for negative consequences).

What's a bit mind blowing is that people also experience this on the other side of the coin- serendipity. When something (positive happening that seems like winning the lottery) amazingly unfair (perceptively) happens we don't complain we embrace it. We don't question if we actually deserve it even if we feel like we don't. 

Taking responsibility for your actions also makes those moments incredibly impactful and you won't wonder if you deserve it, you'll know you do!

Karma
Karma

A little bit about Karma

All the things that happen to you in your life are NOT based on the real time moment your in. Getting into a car accident after 20 years of helping people, being the most amazing and compassionate person ever known, seems like god is picking on you, it's not fair, right?

The reality is that car accident may be the accumulated karma of events that happened early in life, and it could be caused by things you don't even, nor didn't at the time, realize how impactful your part was in it.

It's the butterfly effect plain and simple. (definition of butterfly effect)

Example Scenario Of Built Up Karma

If you got mad at Johnny in grade school and to get back at him you said he was stupid, and he took it to heart and it affected him for years to come causing all sorts of problems, you have to realize that everything that happens because of your calling him stupid get's billed to your karma calendar.

Thinking and acting positively has repercussions too, only they are positive ones and they can give you some amazing good karma, but you will not escape bad karma with good karma, you simply won't generate more bad karma, but in generating good karma you may be more equipped to handle the bad karma from before.

Karma has a way of transcending time and space, even lifetimes so something that happens to you in this lifetime could be the result of a past life unfulfilled karmic debt. It may seem unfair because you don't remember the events, but it doesn't matter, it was your soul that acquired the debt like it or not.

If you don't believe in reincarnation realize that reincarnation is not just life after death, coming back to a new life after you die. We reincarnate every second we're alive, every time we wake up in the morning... Every moment is an opportunity to change everything. The first step is taking responsibility for your life, for the fact that everything that happens to you now, in the past and in the future, is the accumulated result of a domino effect YOU set into motion some time ago, or in this very moment (for future events).

Regardless of how random or unrelated something seems, it is all tied together, and everything your going through, is your fault. This is not limited to it ONLY being your fault, and it's not limited to anyone else being involved.

What I mean here is that you had a part in everything that's ever happened to you whether you simply made a choice to be in the wrong place at the wrong time or if your selfish side surfaced for whatever reason- and if you got hit by a guy racing on a bike while you crossed the street- that too is your fault for being on that street and all the choices you made that put you there.

It seems unfair to be responsible for something so random happening to you- but if it makes you feel better your only responsible for being there, for not looking, for not preparing ahead of time and always looking around- the price you pay to not have to do this is getting hit by a random biker. Make sense?

Most people don't seem to want to accept this fact and thus continue to chase their tail. Personally I don't pretend to understand what cause ended up creating my current effects, but one thing I know, realizing that I did it somehow somewhere... I can actually take back the wheel of my life and start controlling the outcomes more lucidly of what happens or how I handle what happens next. I also don't feel helpless in the world even on a horrendousely bad day of being chased by my own poltergeist (see that article I wrote for the definition of poltergeist as I mean it).

It's simply a matter of not feeling like a victim. If something bad happens to me, my first thought is, how did this happen? (not why) What did I do to deserve this (not why is this happening to me).

Now I don't think "I don't deserve this", I think I know I did it or my choices resulted in this outcome, but I'd like to figure out what it was so I won't repeat it.

I don't feel victimized by life, at least not since I started really diving deep into the concept of "responsibility for my life, all things that happen to me and things I cause to happen, even if not on purpose).

I got some karma coming to me from many past years, I'm sure... So I just grin and bear it and try to elminate new bad karma by living my life ethically, passionately, and helping others as much as I can. You can't run from yourself, many try and trip over their own ego...

Just some insights I learned from and practice myself... thought I'd share.

Updated: 10/01/2012, Jerrico_Usher
 
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Jerrico_Usher on 10/02/2012

well said, thank you for sharing Sue.

2uesday on 10/02/2012

You are right - the stitching together is important. We have to piece together the good and bad pieces in the best way we can.

I think you should leave article here. As it is important that people can read different ways that people deal with the difficult times in their life. For me it evolved a way of thinking that took a different route, it does not mean I think you are wrong in what you say here. It is just that I feel self blame or feeling something is about 'pay back' can be a negative and draining emotion. That for me, led to accepting that the past is the past and has gone and cannot be changed, the future is yet to be so I cannot live it yet. What is now important for me is the need to focus on making the most of the moment, as that is the only thing that I can do.

Jerrico_Usher on 10/01/2012

hmmm nice. Think I'll do that. Although I don't have more to say on this particular topic that I didn't already say but I will definitely update it as people debate, and add "sides" to the discussion- my view is absolutely not the only correct one, it's just mine and I'm sharing my Point of view. Thanks for commenting!

Tiggered on 10/01/2012

Don't take it down - it sparked discussion, that's good! I'd add even more content if I were you :)

Jerrico_Usher on 10/01/2012

actually we do live in a highly random world, but there is a structure that stitches it all together. I wrote this during a hard time in my life and it was my answer to why life is fair, all be it seemingly unfair... personal responsibility is not about winning or losing it's about awareness that you put most things in your life into effect through causes. Thanks for commenting :)

I'm starting to wonder if I should take this article down :( I don't think my actual point is getting across (based on comments so far)...

Jerrico_Usher on 10/01/2012

Hi Tiggered, I appreciate your comment, I hadn't thought about that actually. My point wasn't that people aren't responsible for their actions but rather the opposite- the entire point was that taking responsibility for your life is the path to freedom, liberation from "woe is me" syndrome and "life isn't fair". I wouldn't take this to extremes, that's asinine, but just take the message that taking personal responsibility for your life and you won't be a prisoner of your own mental state! Good point, good point tiggered :)

Tiggered on 10/01/2012

I'm afraid I don't trust karma that much :)
I kind of know what you're trying to say, and I'm all for acting responsibly, but I think you're stepping on a dangerous moral ground here. One could draw a conclusion like - hey, let's stop persecuting drunk drivers, because when they hit and kill someone, it's the victim's fault, yes? I could go on with more extreme examples, but I'm sure you know what I mean.
I'm not exactly comfortable with leaving justice to some celestial police department that may or may not exist.

2uesday on 10/01/2012

I prefer to think we live in a world where random things happen. Good things happen to bad people and bad things can happen to good people. Maybe thisis because of my life experience up to now, but it works for me.

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