Old Fashioned Wives Tales Sayings Expressions and Phrases from America

by katiem2

Read and share old fashioned and old timey sayings wives tales funny hillbilly and other expressions and phrases of the past from all around America

Old Wives Tales - Do I ever have a fun list of flashbacks to olden times, kick back, take ur shoes off and enjoy sum funny sayings and old wives tales. Hillbillies are sum funny people, not only are they hilarious, know how to take and give a joke, they's down right good people, well the most of em that is. Not only do I have a list of old wives tales but I've got an even longer list of funny hillbilly sayings that'll have you slapping your thigh and rolling on the floor, careful, try not to grab hold of to many splinters. Laughter is the best medicine so prepare your self to get a healthy dose of funny wit a few side-splitting wives' tales tossed in.

Old Wives Tales

Funny and Old Timey Wives Tales
  1. Be careful what you say about other people's kids cause you’ll get it back in your own kids.
  2. If you get wet while washing dishes you’ll marry a drunk.
  3. If you lift your feet for someone to sweep you’ll never marry again.
  4. Coffee stunts your growth
  5. Hard work is good for the soul
  6. Burnt food makes you purdy
  7. If your right-hand itches you're getting money
  8. If your left-hand itches you're losing money
  9. Tell a bad man every day he's a great man and he'll become a great man (I'm still on the fence about this one. Nope I take that back I flat out don't buy it, bad people rarely change and I am not up for the hard work and heartache it takes to do so.  Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still. 

You wanna know more old wives' tales, read the book to your right, or check out the fun cards, easy to have on hand and great for parties, car rides, and flat out boredom. 

Be sure to add old wives' tales you've heard in the comments section at the bottom of this page. Plus you can read what other readers have shared.

Old Timey Sayings

Do you have any hillbillies, rednecks, hicks or hilljacks in your family?

Old Timey Expressions

Funny Hillbilly Stories

The list of funny hillbilly, redneck, hick, and old-timey sayings make a very long list?

You will no doubt want to save this page to your favorites as I promise there are some treasures here you won't want to lose and the only place to get them is here at the getting place.  First, let me give you a bit of background info on this collection of old wives' tales and funny sayings.  It all started one day while driving with my daughter in the car, here's the story from the beginning.

What is a Hick, one thing I can talk about with some authority is hillbillies, hill jacks, rednecks, hicks, and funny-related stuff. 

I came from a long line of folks down yonder in Arkansas where my Dad was born and raised. Some of um cuter than a speckled pup wise sum of um looks like they dun went and fell out the ugly tree hittin ever branch on the ways down. 

Weeze from a few other places but I'm not gonna mention them cause I don't wanna get a whooopin!

Now, I often talk about my real roots you know my DNA and XYZ and all but as my daughter often reminds me it’s where you're raised and get your upbringing that most influences you. By the way, I am two-thirds Irish and the rest Scottish with a wee bit of British tossed in those damn Brits. 

I've decided to write down all the funny stuff I remember from my childhood southern influences and such. It’s the funny dark side of us that finds humor in those havin an inner hick, redneck, or hillbilly bone and laugh about those who have no such, nonsuch, any such idea we make fun of em, we just can't help it, theys funny.  The point being, it's a funny topic most ever one finds humerus.

But the bottom line is, laughter is the best medicine and I’m sure it’s something every hick, hillbilly, or redneck can be proud of injecting into the world.

So I'm gunna take you back to when heck was a pup and ever porch swang wuz in the good company of a big ole mason jar filled to the brim with some of Momma's good ole sweet tea.

Watch Yer Mouth

Heck fire yuns know I don’t cuss cuz I’ve never wanted my two little girls to cuss. Sides that I learned from my older brother you get yer mouth washed plum out with soap if you do, and then chased around by a crazed switch!  Nope, nah this ain't for me. 

Now yous may as well know I growed up with three rotten brothers and the reason I'm meaner than a striped ass ape, so forgive me if I get a bit rascally.

Well, the memories of my brothers forever blowing bubbles is the reason I became famous for using other creative terms to cuss and well my daughters have learned that instead.

My daughter came up with “what the cheese”, "what the flip", "holy cannoli" instead of the other more commonly heard phrases. 

Today, while driving to the store my daughter saw something odd and said a new one.

I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce the new phrase my daughter just invented today, what the hick on 4-10-10 instead of the ever-popular what the H, E Double Tooth Picks

I loved it and claimed I’m gonna use this from here on out. Plus this is my new phrase of expressing intense reactions or feelings.

So, "What The Hick" you waiting for, read these funny phrases and let me know what you think, you may even want to add a few of your own in the comments section below.


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Funny Redneck and Hillbilly Sayings

Things you'd hear in the good ole days.


Things I heard as I grew up;

  • I'd say, hey where'd you get that" and hear, "at the gettin place, you'd been there yud got one too"
  • Someone may ask, "Where'd you get that", you reply, "At the gettin place, you'd been there yud a got some to"
  • "She ain’t no bigger than a cake of soap", meaning skinny.
  • "Gonna beat you like a redheaded step child", I'm a redhead.
  • "Go fetch a switch", when weeze bout to get a switching.
  • "She still ain’t no bigger than a cake of soap", after I came home from college
  • "Caint never did cause caint never tried" caint meaning can't or cannot.
  • "Ain’t work brittle" lazy, non productive, not a good worker.
  • "Want in one hand and pee in the other see which fills up fastest" when you ask for something you ain't gettin, no way, no how.
  • "To dumb to pour pee out a boot with directions on the heal" referring to a person as being the opposite of smart.
  • "Wise acher" being a wise mouth, sassing off.
  • "Usins goin ya’ll come"  we gotta go, come join us.
  • "Dumber than a box of rocks" not as smart as your age.
  • "A bubble off plum" not right.
  • "Rid up this mess" clean up this room, house or other.
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Phrases of the Past From all Round America

Old timey redneck hillbilly sayings.


Old-Timey Redneck Hillbilly Sayings

  • Don’t take any wooden nickels
  • I’ll give you something to cry about
  • I’m gonna knock you into next week
  • I’ve already forgot more than you know
  • Grab a cold tater and wait
  • Burnt food makes you pretty
  • If you eat that your hair will turn red.
  • It’ll cure what ails ya
  • Oh really Dick Tracy
  • Oh really Chic Tracy
  • You don’t say
  • L – I – B Dang
  • Drunker than Cooter Brown (I never figured out who Cooter Brown is)
  • More than livers got pills
  • Ain't that a hoot
  • Longer than a witches dream
  • Colder than a well diggers bum
  • Hotter than a fire cracker
  • Bold as brass
  • Don’t squat with your spurs on,
  • dumb as a post,
  • doesn't have a pot to pee in,
  • this is a two biscuit day,
  • when your nose itches, someone's coming to see you with a hole in their britches,
  • that's where Tony throwed the mule,
  • Katie bar the door,
  • he's like a blister--doesn't show up until after the work is done,
  • tighter than Dick's hatband,
  • like talking to a fence post (or stump),
  • like searching for hen's teeth,
  • he's so dumb, if you moved his plate five inches to the left he would starve to death,
  • Fuller than a tick on a dogs ear.
  • Runnin around like a chicken with its head cut off.
  • Hotter than a two dollar pistol.
  • Sweatin like a whore in church.
  • The door swings both ways
  • Are you shining me or Stop Shining me
  • You’re a sight for sore eyes
  • He's a young shaver
  • Knee high to a grass hopper
  • Look what the cat dun went and drug in
  • ya come up yonder, we fix ya some vittles.
  • you youngins getting on my last nerve.
  • we got somein good to eat.
  • that there girl yonder.

I do hope this gave ya'll a lil chuckle or big fat smile.

Please leave me a comment and let me know if you have any old sayings you'd like to share. Get your smile on!

Ya'll come back now ya hear! Katie

Updated: 04/23/2021, katiem2
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Read and share old fashioned and old timey sayings wives tales funny hillbilly and other expressions and phrases of the past from all around America

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katiem2 on 08/24/2016

Reba, thank you for visiting old wives tales and funny hillbilly sayings

reba michelle on 08/24/2016

YES reminder me of my yester years lol.

katiem2 on 07/11/2016

Tapper, That is a good one, thanks for sharing.

Tapper on 07/10/2016

There was an old outhouse up on the hill near where I grew up. Parents told me it contained a "spanking machine". I lived in terror of that building for years.

katiem2 on 05/04/2016

Ryan, Oh that is a good one...

Ryan on 02/02/2016

If y'all don't settle down. I'ma kick a mudhole in your assz & walk it dry!
Just the picture in my mind after hearing that scared the hell out of me as a 5 year old! Lol, ahh the good ole days.

ryan on 02/02/2016

Worthless as tits on a boar hog

katiem2 on 10/23/2014

thats a peach, love it thanks hun

katiem2 on 10/23/2014

Love it, thanks darlin

angie pence carroll on 10/14/2014

when pigs fly or when the cows come home

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