While gay couples fight for their right to marry, many straight couples question if marriage is worth it or not. Yes, while one sector of our society fights for their right to marry, the sanctity of marriage is crumbling down around another group, or is it? The steady occurrence of divorce offers a great deal of support in the marriage debate. Join the debate and share with the world your honest feelings about marriage. Let us know if you are for or against marriage. The ideas and beliefs about marriage and the living arrangements of partners have changed greatly.
The Debate Over Marriage
by katiem2
Is marriage worth it, What are the benefits of marriage, any? Join the debate is marriage worth the commitment or do couples do better and enjoy more happiness living together.
To Marry or Live Together
Many couples find living together without getting married to be the best option.
Will marriage stand the test of turbulent times or will marriage fade into the background or fade away altogether? Are the youth of this country leaning more toward marriage or just living together?
The Right to Marry
This is not intended to debate the right to marry.
While this writer personally believes everyone should have the right to marry, I wonder if the question regarding the success of marriage will impact this group as well once their rights are exercised.
Question Surrounding Marriage?
- Is marriage this elusive thing we all want until we get it?
- Are we really geared to marry, sign that legal and binding document and commit to the ceremony?
- Do we marry merely for the security of health insurance, and other rights afforded married couples?
- Do married people really have the benefits once enjoyed?
Questioning the Value of Marriage
Many factors are involved when weighing the pros and cons of marriage.
The questions we consider once honestly debating marriage are many. Today we share a collective thought and varied feelings on the topic as we engage in duels, polls and comments in our marriage chat section. Please participate and let your voice be heard. Your identity will remain protected on this page. You may however chose to leave your name, what ever your choice it will be respected. Thanks to each and everyone participating in this conversation and debate regarding whether we should or should not get married. While my personal experiences is unique as is yours, I do look forward to engaging in this no doubt heated debate regarding marriage.
Weighing In On The Divorce Rate
Have you been married, how many times?
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Yes I've been married and divorced, include how many times.
Mary
on 08/30/2012
I've been married and divorced twice. Marriage is not for me...
BrendaReeves
on 08/08/2012
Married once three days out of high school. The first 14 years were the easiest. It lasted 26 years. Getting out was the hardest thing I ever did. I don't know how people can go through it three and four times. I love being single. It's paradise.
cherylone
on 07/30/2012
I was married once, for 20 years before I finally got the guts to file for a divorce. I don't think I could ever go through it again.
dustytoes
on 07/29/2012
Married twice and divorced twice. The first time I was simply too young for it to last. The second time I fully intended to stay married forever even though there was trouble, but it didn't happen.
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Marriage Fantasy Vs. Reality
The idea of marriage has always been greatly comprised of fantasy, let us compare how that fantasy compares to reality.
When one conjures up images of marriage it is most often a fantasy (slash) fairly tale of sorts. The actual fairy tale images give way to thoughts of two people madly in love with a fixed gaze nothing in the world can interrupt.
That one and only love growing stronger and invincible as time marches on with their love only growing stronger.
The ideas progress into dreams of romantic dinners, long walks on the beach hand in hand and all while receiving love letters and treasured gifts expressing their undying love for each other. Aw yes the honey moon, the dream home, the 2.5 kids and then with a loud roar reality drops in like a bomb, or does it?
Share your marital experiences and compare those to others as we get to the bottom of marriage is it fantasy or reality, the good the bad and the ugly of wedded bliss.
Is Marriage Good or Bad?
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I fully support marriage for the following reasons:
BrendaReeves
on 08/08/2012
I support marriage for those who want it. I think it's the best way to bring children into the world. I have no regrets about my marriage, because it gave me my three children. I also have no regrets about staying in the marriage for the children.
dustytoes
on 07/29/2012
I believe in marriage, but too many people are not realistic when they marry. Also, most people don't get to know their future spouse as well as they should before they decide to tie the knot. They just want the fairy tale and blindly believe that everything will just work out.
Ex-hubber
on 07/29/2012
Marriage is good for me. I know every night who I'm sleeping with. I will always have a date wherever I go. I always have a friendly face to talk to. I have someone to worry about me when I'm late and who cares for me when I'm sick. I am thankful everyday to have my beautiful, caring wife in life.
I do not support marriage for the following reasons;
Lisa
on 08/30/2012
Why bother it only puts a.binding contract between to people and that's crazy in terms of love. There is no purpose for marriage its not useful.
cherylone
on 07/30/2012
I believe in the theory of marriage, however, it never seems to be that "happily ever after" that we all hope for when we are teenagers. Marriage seems to be more of a monetary benefit than anything else.
What's in a Partner
What do you call the person you chose to spend your life with?
It can be puzzling to figure out what two people mean to one another, are they married, living together, merely room mates or a gay couple. The terms we use to refer to our significant other has evolved as our ideas about marriage and committed relationships have changed. What do you call your partner?
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What do you call your significant other?
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What to Call Your Soul Mate?
In regard to introducing or making others aware of who this person is to you and how they fall into your life, what do you refer to them as?
Why People Get Married
Once upon a time people got married because it was deemed the right thing to do.
After all who wants to be wrong, living in sin, go against society? In fact the vast majority of people no longer believe in the stigma regarding marriage. The number of divorced couples often admit they should have never married and in fact were certain of this fact at the time of the wedding. Many of these same people confessed they allowed family and or friends to convince them it was merely cold feet, a normal part of the wedding process, a bit of stage fright, nerves or the jitters.
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You should always follow your own instincts. Many formerly married people go on to say they married out of obligation.
Just what is all this obligation nonsense?
Well, the facts are a large number of people get married due to an unplanned pregnancy. The war of entrapment has waged on and still does to date, with many a man growing sour to marriage as they've been saddled with a wife and child they really hadn't planned on, not at the time and place. Funny, most often you can't have your cake and eat it too, or can you? This is a whole other debate and yet the obligatory factor is great.
The Benefits of Marriage
The many benefits of marriage are vast, the companionship, security, safety, financial, and family.
Companionship is a great benefit of marriage as people need other people, love, companionship and tradition. Marriage offers all these things and more. There is the celebration of love, promise and a family bond of a group who will always be there for you.
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The support network and system you get from marriage is amazing and yet then again there are many a horror story about in laws and families people wish they had never married into. Share your personal experiences on this side of marriage in the following duel debate. It's nice to have someone to come home to, share your day with, unload your trials and troubles. Some of us flat out do not like to be alone, while there are many who need time alone preferring it a mismatch here creates a lot of friction in married life.
Are The Benefits of Marriage the Same?
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No, the benefits of being married have been stripped from us in the following manner:
cherylone
on 07/30/2012
I believe many of the benefits are still there, especially the ones where the government recognizes the rights of a married person after a death, etc. However, most of the others have been stripped away by societies changes and the changes in believes. No longer is it a must to join in marriage before enjoying one another's company. No longer is it necessary to join in marriage to have children. Does it make a difference? I believe it does, many marry simply because the government won't recognize them as a couple unless they do.
Ex-hubber
on 07/29/2012
This may get a little deep so my apologies ahead of time. I don't think marriage does offer the same benefits to the younger people today as it did when I was in my twenties and I'll tell you why. It's because of technology. Kids today have too much information and expect everything to happen right away. When they don't get their dose of instant gratification, they get bored and move on. And why talk to a person face to face or at the very least on the phone when you can text message them and basically say anything you want without the fear of having to see the reaction on their face? Same benefits as before? No way. At least not for the youth of the world today. They're just not looking for those types of benefits anymore.
Yes, there are many perks to being married and they are:
teddletonmr
on 01/23/2013
What is a benefit to some is the exact reason they prefer to avoid marriage all together.
dustytoes
on 07/29/2012
The benefits are still there. Not being alone and having someone to depend on (if you marry well - or the right person) to be your partner in life is one important thing marriage offers. Children growing up with a mom and dad who are committed to stay together - making it official makes it less easy to just up and leave. But society and technology are making that more difficult for kids to do. I don't want to see the idea of marrying go away.
The Marriage Debate Review
There are several opportunities to leave your thoughts on the subject of marriage here at this debate.
Please feel free to openly and honestly express your feelings and opinions on marriage. As our debate grows we'll open the eyes of those unaware of the modern day concerns and issues surrounding the marital bond. We may even open the minds of others to a entirely new way of thinking. As a whole we can collectively make society happier as we take off the rose colored gloves and duke it out over whether marriage is a great thing or a washed up broken institution of the past.
Updated: 05/21/2013, katiem2
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Discuss the marriage debate, where do you stand?
Brenda, Yes there is and then there are the likes of me who are loners. I feel we creative writer types are often the hardest people to be married to. I've always had the issue of alone time, I crave alone time, peace quiet and tranquility. Where as my ex's have always wanted to spend more time with me than I was willing or capable of giving. They always end up feeling second to my work. I love my work, am a bit of a workaholic, my craft consumes me, can't help it wouldn't have it any other way. I think you and I are more alike on that than you realize. My ex-husband always warned his friends about marrying a writer, he said it's a very lonely relationship going from all to nothing when she works. :( Some of us just aren't cur out for it.
Great article Katie. I came from such a dysfunctional family that I don't think there was any way I could have a successful marriage to this day. There are a few great marriages out there though.
Great feedback everyone, thanks for sharing your views.
Roohi, I will imagine you finding the perfect mate, love of your life and one that will last a lifetime that you may live happily ever after.
Fantastic article, Katie! Well, I am single, never been married. In my opinion, marriage is a good thing. However, I also think that one should only get married if and when they find the kind of person they want. So, here is wishing that I soon find the person with the qualities I want because I am surely not going to just settle for anyone just for the sake of getting married.
Excellent article. I have been married and I have been single, because of a difficult marriage, I think I am happier single, but if I had found the right person to marry, who knows how it would have turned out. Great Article.
I like to live and let live. That is my philosophy, so the question of being married or not is of little importance to my way of thinking. A thought provoking article, Katie. Excellent work!
I've been married for 34 years to the same man. Despite life's ups and downs, it's wonderful to know I've shared life's mysteries with the man beside me.I think of marriage as a sacrament that unites two lives. It teaches us how to love beyond our own illusions. It teaches us about ourselves, too.