The New World Order isn't a value meal at McDonald's. If you're not ready, you just might be consumed by it. A short list of items will help. Browse our compendium of helpful retail products selected especially for you. The list just might surprise you and it might horrify you, but it will definitely make you feel something.
Top 5 Items to buy for The New World Order
by nicomp
It's coming, whether you like it or not. We present the definitive list of products absolutely essential for proper preparation.
iPad
You'll be spying on your neighbors even more than usual. The New World Order will expect you to report on comings and goings up and down your street. A handy iPad facilitates note-taking as well as clandestine photography. Upload covertly acquired information to the cloud: you just might end up with an extra ration of bread at the end of the month.
Space Heater
Don't expect blue-helmeted UN troops billeting in your municipal park to keep you warm. After they denude the parcours trail and commandeer the food co-op, you'll have little else to do beside huddle around a humble space heater in your once joyful living room. When the government provides everything, you're left with nothing. Buy something now, while you still can.
 | GiveBest Portable Electric Space Heater, 1500W/750W ETL Certified Ceramic Heater with Thermostat,... GiveBest ceramic heater for small space, warm you up in winter. Power indicate light can lets you know at a glance that it's plugged in. It's well designed for your safety; auto... |
Gold
Money no longer has value when national boundaries are wiped away. Fiat currency will be replaced by precious metals and lead. Stock up on gold in all its forms so you can bribe FEMA officials, barter for bread, and adorn your spider hole.
Gold continues to climb in value until someone figures out that there's too much of it already and there's not much use for what we've dug up. You can't eat it but you can usually find someone who wants more of it.
 | Forever Rose, a Genuine, One of a Kind, Real Rose, Hand Dipped in 24K Gold to Last a Lifetime The Forever RoseWelcome to The Forever Rose... the rose that started it all, over 20 years ago! This is a REAL ROSE that has been carefully selected for quality and shape at the... |
Guitars
Entertainment will be cut off because it's the opiate of the masses. The only shows on TV will be MSNBC commentary and reruns of The View. Plan to entertain yourself with musical instruments requiring no electricity. Write a few folk songs before The New World order takes away your pencils.
Running Shoes
Sprinting past the guard dogs will be your only form of exercise. Health clubs and local gyms will be shut down in favor of reeducation camps for recalcitrant citizens. Stock up on many pairs of sturdy running shoes before darkness descends: New Balance and Adidas just might be co-opted to manufacture jackboots.
Image courtesy of Freedigitalphotos.net / digitalart
Updated: 12/28/2012, nicomp
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Comments
Who could forget?
Don't forget ukuleles!