What NOT to write in your online profile

by chefkeem

These tips will help you write online profiles that are taken seriously by your visitors. Avoid creating a bad first impression and turning away your hard-earned traffic.

So, you're a guru, eh?


GuruNever ever write the word guru in your online profile. Never. Ever.

I see "guru"...I think sales funnel.

I see "ninja"...I think moron.

Frankly, I've met too many "gurus" in my life who couldn't do a thing for me. And I'm sure I'm not alone with that experience.

Gurus belong into ashrams...not profiles. Besides, calling yourself a guru is so 2006.

And ninjas go into turtle soup.

By the way, "goo-roo" is also the call of doves, right before they get ready to drop something...

So, you are unique?

Aren't we all?

unique online profileEvery single one of us gadzillion menschlings is unique. That's just the way it is. So, why are you pointing it out, again?

Are you, like, especially unique?

An outcast?


Then join us and become a little more regular.

It'll help with shrinking your head a bit.

Don't tell us that you are unique - show us how.

So, you're an authority?

Or even an expert?

online authorityUm...okay.

Know why Mr.Gatti's call their pizza the "best in town"? Hint: Because it's not.

In fact, know why some folks call themselves "gurus"? You guessed it.

The point is: If you have to say that you are powerful, or something...you're probably not.

Prove your authority by sharing highly useful content. Give freely of your knowledge and expertise, and don't hold back. Be kind, helpful and communicative.

Be that authority.

So, you are passionate about helping others reach their full potential in life?


unique online profileWhen I read the title sentence in an online profil I think: You are passionate about helping yourself to reach your full potential as internet marketer, right?

I can understand being passionate about helping others...with their coding questions, or how to keyword-optimize a blog post, or how to run a marketing campaign for a small business...

I actually feel it myself. It's a lot of fun!

But should it be your primary "store sign" in your online profile?

Perhaps not.

Generosity is all about action, not self-promotion.

What else does not belong in an online profile?

My little article above was inspired by a very interesting blog post by Jeff Haden:

8 Words That Should Never Appear In Your Twitter Bio

Check it out for Jeff's comments on...

  • Workaholic
  • Strategist
  • Serial Entrepreneur
  • Technologist
  • Passion
  • Authority
  • Unique
  • Guru
Updated: 05/24/2011, chefkeem
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Can you think of any other bad words for an online profile? Please share them here...

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DerdriuMarriner on 11/19/2018

chefkeem, Thank you for being such an authoritative guru on Wizzley, unique site for passionate strategists, serial entrepreneurs and workaholic technologists.

BrendaReeves on 03/15/2013

Thank you Chef.

chefkeem on 03/15/2013

Brenda, your profile is just fine. :)

BrendaReeves on 03/15/2013

This is the first time I've seen this. Now I have to go back and see what I wrote.

chefkeem on 01/01/2012

That's one helluva right-on comment, Jackie! Thanks. :)

bayouladyJDKimball on 01/01/2012

When I read a profile,I don't want to read chiefly about their education and various qualifications. I want to know who they are as a person, away from the keyboard. For example,I'd just as soon trust a mom of four's advice on keeping small children occupied on a road trip than some "expert" with umpteem degrees in child phychology.
I'm a well learned "Nana". I speak doggerish, and I'm a true deep south cook. I didn't study at the arm of a famous chef,but my daddy was a cook in the army,and what he taught me puts me right up there with Paula Deen...(Okay....that is a stretch....scratch that....)So,you can trust my grandmotherisms,doggie tales,and you won't be sorry you tried my recipies.
For me,it's tell me who you are and what's your life all about.Make me want to read ,because I want to see more of your life lessons.

hamshi5433 on 11/27/2011

LOL this gave me a good laugh and so true!
"Gurus belong into ashrams...not profiles." haha

Jimmie on 11/03/2011

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Please strike guru from your vocabulary when speaking about yourself. And I agree. Whenever someone starts telling me what he is, my radar goes up. If you ARE that, it will be evident and you won't need to say it at all.

emmalarkins on 11/03/2011

Hmm, this is a hard one. I think keeping it simple and not too flowery is best.

nickupton on 11/02/2011

I am a passionately unique workaholic guru.

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