Breaking The Loser Cycle - Understanding Why You May Feel Like A Loser When Your Actually Evolving

by Jerrico_Usher

The Loser Cycle Is Just That, A Cycle. It's Something We All May Go Through, But Definitely Not Always Something That's Being Labeled Correctly- Often... It's Growing Pains

There is a big difference between "feeling" like a loser, failure, etc... and actually "Being" one. Most of the time that feeling comes from failure. Failure to be where you wanted to be right now, failing to impress your bosses, failure to get praise for your hard work, and frustration, are all just part of a cycle that many go through when they are evolving. When you are in one place environmentally (your home town?) and emotionally and where you wish to be is in a completely different mental and physical zip code, there is going to be a transition period before you can indulge fully in the goal. Many think making a goal gives them every right to achieve it but the reality is that to get any goal- and to keep it (habit), you have to both achieve the goal and maintain an environment that supports it as long as you need it to.

Fact is, mind, body, spirit, all must align towards what you want but so should your support environment. This is the physical environment being cohesive to your change, the people in your life being cohesive, and things like that. In this article I'll cover some thing you may not have thought of lately- but likely have thought of. I hope you find this enlightening.


Change I The Only Constance


Fake It Till You Make It

 - (or don't feel the "fear" anymore)


One thing I'm learning more and more is that when you don't like your circumstances, or are unhappy with any part of your life then you have to realize that your stuck in a pattern that has you trapped there. If you always do the same thing you've always done, you will continue to get what you've always gotten.

Change is hard for most people but it is the only way out of a routine you don't like. If you refuse to break out of your comfort zone, which may not be all that comfortable, just easy, then you are plaguing yourself with stagnation in a hell or both your own making and perpetuation.

Comfort comes with repetition. You can get used to anything and if you have enough practice and focus you can get good at anything. In fact the road to growth requires you to break out of comfort zones and do something different, then when you get used to that, your new comfort zone "upgrade" is established.

The reality is that when the new routine becomes habit/practiced, the old one becomes uncomfortable! To continue to grow you just break out slowly to new routines, get used to them then break out again and again.

You repeat this over and over and eventually what you perceive today as scary, or uncomfortable, hard, out of reach, or anything else, will change and become your "norm".

If your tired of being lonely, sitting at home feeling lonely won't get you out of this. Keeping busy won't either unless you're keeping busy by trying to meet new people. To break out of loneliness you have to get out and meet people.

One way to do this is through groups of friends. If you have no friends you can make new friends easily by going to a site like "" where you can join groups of established social circles where everyone was once like you!

If your life is not successful then your "script" routine is outdated. It is not in alignment with where you want to be or even possibly with where you are (disharmony). Sometimes this is life pushing you to where your trying to get but don't seem to see how to get there.

The uncomfortable things in your life may be the nudge telling you that where you want to be and where you are aren't cohesive  If you keep doing what your doing you'll stagnate but the discomfort is really you trying to get to that next place but complacent and too comfortable to take the steps NEEDED.

To get where you want to be you have to memorize and start playing the part of that new life. You do this by finding role models of your wanted life.

The best way to do this is the fake it till you make it game. You start aligning yourself with those who are where you want to be and you start acting the part.

If this scene requires you to wear clothing outside your price range, still buy the clothing. Just start out with one outfit and accumulate more.

The thing about this is your not posing your practicing. By wearing the clothes, by acting the part, by going to the hang outs and even driving the car, you will become used to these things and you will subconsciously start to change how you act, how you react to life and things around you will harmonize and sync up to this new life style.

It will blow your mind when you get there how easy it really was!

The change can be tough at first, and you may feel fake but eventually you will find that you are this person and your life is congruent with your wants, you just didn't know it yet. I'm not in any way saying to be plastic, to pretend to be something your not to impress others. I'm merely stating that you get into character of whom YOU want to benot what others want you to be.

If your not comfortable with people that your hanging out with in this new life you want, then this may not be your desired place to be. You never know till you try it. Once you've decided you want something you have to change everything about how you live your life to that new desire.

True friends who are congruent with where you're going will support you- even if they aren't there. Others will get jealous if they think you can get there (and they can't) and may try to sabotage your efforts. Friends like that you don't need.

If you plan to be rich and successful you need to start hanging out with other people whom are rich and successful. This is because so long as you don't hang out with people who are where you want to be you will never get there. Why?

Because when you hang out with these people you start to crystallize the part, the movements, the life styles they live that allow them to be rich and successful. People whom are rich and people whom are poor do things differently and this is why they are where they are. This is why they've developed their characters to certain specific statuses to support the change. 

Always be yourself however, just sync up the life style with who you are and find a way to make it work. Fake it till you make it is powerful because once your external environment becomes matched up and flowing smoothly around you it starts to change your desires, your ambitions and your goals. You should always want more than you have, and always chase it.

Life does not just give you anything but when you desire something the universe will give you the resources to make it happen (ask and ye shall receive simply means you have to say it, think it, and take actions on things that come up as resources to receive it.. You have to act on them, but they will be there. If you don't act on them its your fault your not there.


Fake It Till You Make It

 - (or don't feel the "fear" anymore)


The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. If this definition holds then most people who are unhappy are that way because their actions are "Insane". If you don't change something nothing else will change. Remember the world reacts TO YOU. How you think determines how you engage the world. How you engage the world determines how it engages with you, which determines how you react to it. You started the cause effect relationship and although you're reacting to the environment seemingly coming at you randomly, the reality is that you made it that way.

If you want to break out of where you are change everything about how you're doing things. Take a different route home every day, use your left hand not your right, change your routine until your COMPLETELY uncomfortable.. Do things that are uncomfortable. Why? Because until you do you will be doing what is "easy" and what is easy isn't working is it? Learn to change to get what you want. Your life is based on how you engage it. Comfortable just means predictable.. But predictable can come in again once your script is changed, your routine may feel odd at first but it will sync up.

If your afraid of rejection so you don't date the only way to change this is to go out and get rejected over and over again and realize that your still alive.. At first it may feel humiliating but after about 100 rejections you won't feel the anxiety about it anymore and can move on to being yourself and dating!

Personally I do things that feel uncomfortable all the time, I take the hard roads, because this keeps me in practice of change.. Being afraid of change is very dangerous, it keeps you stagnant.. And puts you in harms way. If you become too dedicated to your routines people can shake you up!

Hope you got something out of this.



Updated: 12/16/2012, Jerrico_Usher
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