Why don't spam writers use a bit of creativity?
Spam, spam, spam! I bet like me you are sick of spam? Sick of spam in your email box, sick of deleting the ones that got by the filter?
But what amazes me is that so much of it is so blatantly spam, so lacking in creativity, so lacking in a good command of the English language. It makes me wonder if there are spam "standard letters" that are used by spammers, and if there are why doesn't someone tell them they might do better if they at least used a spell-checker?
Spam usually looks like spam
by BardofEly
Spam is a problem we all have if we use the Internet but Spam is also a type of food and was once the subject of a Monty Python sketch.
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Hello Dear
Typical Spam message
Take this example of the sort of rubbish I have seen so many times:
Hello Dear,
How are you today my name is Miss ..... (removed so as not to give her any publicity ), i am a Young lady i saw your profile to day at hubpages.com and i became interested in you,i will also like to know you more, I hope you will be sincere, and caring man, that I have been looking for, And I have something special to tell you about myself, please contact me trey my email address (removed) so that I can also send my picture directly to you.
(Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life)
please I am waiting for your reply
may God be with you
yours sincerely
miss b
Spam in the Public Domain
An image of Spam
 Nothing but Spam |
More about Spam
Getting rid of Spam
Now why on Earth would I want to respond to this? If she is so attracted to me after reading my profile then she should have known my name is Steve, and "Dear Steve" or "Dear Bard" would be a much better start and far more likely to impress.
Why does she use lower case for "i" and upper case for "I"? And a capital Y for "Young" but only an "l" for lady?
If she really had consulted my profile she would have known I am a writer with a good command of English and would hardly be likely to be impressed by someone who obviously spends so little time on composing a letter that they don't even bother to check the spelling. Why would I want to "trey" replying to this?
So many of these spam emails end with "may God be with you" and I have a lot of others that state "I am a Christian lady." Nowhere in my profile does it say that I am a Christian so why should I want to know that?
At least I don't get the Nigerian ones that say the sender is a recently widowed person who has come into a large sum of money and has been looking for a trustworthy person with a bank account ones any more!
A few of the chain-letters get through though that promise good luck, love etc if you pass it on to a stated number of people and urge you not to break the chain.
All of this rubbish gets deleted as soon as it arrives apart from the lucky lady who wrote the one I quoted - at least she inspired me to write this and use her letter as an example of spam!
Does anyone remember the spam song and sketch from Monty Python? Spam, spam, spam!
Copyright © 2012 Steve Andrews. All Rights Reserved.
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Monty Python - Spam
Classic Monty Python Spam sketch
Spam products to buy
Buy Spam as gifts
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Updated: 11/20/2012, BardofEly
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Comments
I am glad you remember the Monty Python song, though it's not easy to forget! lol
I remember the spam song from Monty Python, Bard! And I absolutely know what you mean about spam- Not only is it badly written, but those outrageous emails that get through saying something like 'earn $5,000 a day for ten minutes work' I mean, do they seriously believe that someone is going to fall for that nonsense? They'd probably receive more interest if they said $5 a day.
And don't even get me started about the rubbish that gets posted through my letter box! :)