Spam usually looks like spam

by BardofEly

Spam is a problem we all have if we use the Internet but Spam is also a type of food and was once the subject of a Monty Python sketch.

Why don't spam writers use a bit of creativity?
Spam, spam, spam! I bet like me you are sick of spam? Sick of spam in your email box, sick of deleting the ones that got by the filter?
But what amazes me is that so much of it is so blatantly spam, so lacking in creativity, so lacking in a good command of the English language. It makes me wonder if there are spam "standard letters" that are used by spammers, and if there are why doesn't someone tell them they might do better if they at least used a spell-checker?

Buy the original SPAM

Spam luncheon meat
Spam Classic, 12 Ounce Can (Pack of 12)

Don’t knock it till you’ve fried it! SPAM Classic is the original and timeless spiced meat that’s brought a delicious taste of variety for generations. There’s a reason that 12....

Only $85.95

View on Amazon

Spam Hickory Smoke, 12 Ounce Can

If the best thing to come from burning wood is the bonfire, this is a close second. We took the great taste of SPAM Classic and gave it a real hickory smoke flavor. So you can e...


View on Amazon

Hormel Spam

Have a nice and hearty meal ready to enjoy in just minutes with this 12-oz can of Spam Canned Meat. This ready-to-eat item can be used for any meal at any time of day. There are...

Only $9.69

View on Amazon

Hello Dear

Typical Spam message

Take this example of the sort of rubbish I have seen so many times:

Hello Dear,

How are you today my name is Miss ..... (removed so as not to give her any publicity ), i am a Young lady i saw your profile to day at and i became interested in you,i will also like to know you more, I hope you will be sincere, and caring man, that I have been looking for, And I have something special to tell you about myself, please contact me trey my email address (removed) so that I can also send my picture directly to you.

(Remember the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life)

please I am waiting for your reply

may God be with you

yours sincerely

miss b

Spam in the Public Domain

An image of Spam
Nothing but Spam
Nothing but Spam

More about Spam

Getting rid of Spam

Now why on Earth would I want to respond to this? If she is so attracted to me after reading my profile then she should have known my name is Steve, and "Dear Steve" or "Dear Bard" would be a much better start and far more likely to impress.

Why does she use lower case for "i" and upper case for "I"? And a capital Y for "Young" but only an "l" for lady?

If she really had consulted my profile she would have known I am a writer with a good command of English and would hardly be likely to be impressed by someone who obviously spends so little time on composing a letter that they don't even bother to check the spelling. Why would I want to "trey" replying to this?

So many of these spam emails end with "may God be with you" and I have a lot of others that state "I am a Christian lady." Nowhere in my profile does it say that I am a Christian so why should I want to know that?

At least I don't get the Nigerian ones that say the sender is a recently widowed person who has come into a large sum of money and has been looking for a trustworthy person with a bank account ones any more!

A few of the chain-letters get through though that promise good luck, love etc if you pass it on to a stated number of people and urge you not to break the chain.

All of this rubbish gets deleted as soon as it arrives apart from the lucky lady who wrote the one I quoted - at least she inspired me to write this and use her letter as an example of spam!

Does anyone remember the spam song and sketch from Monty Python? Spam, spam, spam!

Copyright © 2012 Steve Andrews. All Rights Reserved.

Buy the best Monty Python's Flying Circus DVDs

Comedy Classics
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Special Edition)

The Monty Python team are at it again in their second movie. This time we follow King Arthur and his knights in their search for the Holy Grail. This isn't your average medieval...

Sony Pictures Home Entertainment
$9.45  $6.99

View on Amazon

The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus 16 Ton Megaset

Product DescriptionThis unassuming case is packed with 16 tons of funny: 14 discs of MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS, packed with every episode from the programme's four year run, ...

A&E Entertainment
$84.98  $279.95

View on Amazon

Monty Python - Spam

Classic Monty Python Spam sketch
Updated: 11/20/2012, BardofEly
Thank you! Would you like to post a comment now?


Only logged-in users are allowed to comment. Login
BardofEly on 11/24/2012

I am glad you remember the Monty Python song, though it's not easy to forget! lol

HollieT on 11/23/2012

I remember the spam song from Monty Python, Bard! And I absolutely know what you mean about spam- Not only is it badly written, but those outrageous emails that get through saying something like 'earn $5,000 a day for ten minutes work' I mean, do they seriously believe that someone is going to fall for that nonsense? They'd probably receive more interest if they said $5 a day.

And don't even get me started about the rubbish that gets posted through my letter box! :)

You might also like

Myths Uncovered about Southern Stereotypes

Hollywood, politics, the media, and others choose to paint Southerners as dum...

Newly Single, Now What?

Newly single and struggling? Things you can do to ease the transition from be...

Biophilia: the love of nature

While nature is for some traditional economists a resource for the economy, i...

Disclosure: This page generates income for authors based on affiliate relationships with our partners, including Amazon, Google and others.
Loading ...