The truth about Flying Saucers? I didn't find it at Saint Hill

I was a little tired after my uphill trek from East Grinstead but felt my efforts were being rewarded, because there on the road outside the entrance of the stately home was a £10 note. Just what I needed!

I picked it up gladly and even thought maybe Ron himself was helping to make life easier for me as reward for my inquisitive spirit. I decided I would spend it on a tape of of a lecture by the Scientology founder on the truth about flying saucers, as it was just the right amount I needed for this.

Knowledge comes at a high price for followers of the cult, and I never had enough money for much of what was on offer so anything like this was much appreciated.

It is a common practice in Scientology organisations for students to write up reports of any success they achieve and attribute to their studies, and also to announce it to their fellows. This serves as a morale booster and shows the benefits that can be there for the taking for anyone wise enough to follow this pathway.

I lost no time in telling everyone in the Saint Hill course-room about my bit of luck and it was posted on the notice-board for all to read. Several students and staff members went to have a look to see if I'd missed any more stray paper money.

I asked the supervisor if I could hear the lecture about the flying saucers. UFOs have been a particular interest of mine for a long time and extra-terrestrials and spacecraft play a large role in the beliefs of the Scientologists. I thought at last I might get some facts on the matter.

Scientology is defined somewhere as "an aim at total knowledge," and the root of the word derives from the Latin verb scire: to know. It is presented as the the truth, just like so many other religions claim. Maybe it was true? And if it was, I wanted to know that truth.

My payment was taken, and the supervisor went to get out the appropriate lecture on a reel of tape. I couldn't wait! At last I'd find out about these mysterious crafts.

But it was not to be. Apparently this lecture wasn't in the library and the nearest copy was in America, which was a bit too far for me to go with the sort of money I had left!

This seemed a mystery in itself, especially as Saint Hill prides itself on having all the L Ron Hubbard lectures and literature in its library. Maybe someone didn't want me to find out about the flying saucers after all? Maybe alien beings with advanced technology had been spying on me all along and had purposefully dematerialised that particular tape? I was so near and yet so far from the truth it seemed.

The supervisor suggested that perhaps I would like to select an alternative reel to listen to from the very extensive range. Well, I was disappointed and feeling as if strange forces were at work here, but this was the very place to learn about such things. Strange forces get explained in the Scientology philosophy.

I scanned through the long list and eventually settled for hearing the facts on the "between lives area." In other words, I was about to find out exactly where we go when we die. In Scientology life is believed to be immortal. Only bodies can die but the spirit, or "thetan," as it is called, lives on and can take a new body. Apparently we've all been doing this for 76 trillion years. I can't argue with that. I have enough difficulty remembering stuff from last year, or last week even!