Wizzley

Buy an Expensive Purse Online

by nicomp

A properly selected hand bag allows you to use both hands to climb the corporate ladder.

You need a place to carry your stuff. Without a purse, your hands would be full of makeup, spare change, Altoids, lint, more makeup, old receipts, car keys, and gift cards from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. It tells the world that you will not be denied the social status you so richly deserve. People judge other people by the size, style, and cost of the purse dangling over their shoulder.

Herein we present the results of compendious research on purses. Most discerning purse shoppers realize that time wasted in a purse store is better spent participating in the cutthroat world of business: order your purses online and get back to work. Shop from our carefully selected array of designer bags, whip out your exclusive credit card and charge up a storm.

Christian Dior Expensive Purse

When the history of expensive purses is written, no one will read it, but this purse will be prominently included. You may not have any actual money left to put in the bag: feel free to load it with Christmas ornaments and packing peanuts so no one knows you spent 2 month's salary. It has the two most important qualities of any expensive purse: a Dior logo and a zipper. Throw it over your shoulder for a casual sashay down to the thrift store. Use the hidden pocket to secure your food stamps until you pay off the second mortgage.

Valentino Purse

When the time comes to rub elbows with the moneyed elite in Upper Manhattan, be sure to clutch this purse in one hand and an expensive pen in the other hand. Begin your quest for boardroom domination here. No one respects a rising young executive with a cheap purse.

Weekends in The Hamptons guarantee social success when accompanied by a Valentino Handbag. Your luggage may be plastic grocery bags secured with rubber bands, but all eyes will be drawn to the money you spent on this dazzling accoutrement that looks like it was stitched together by palsied community college interns.

Women's Hobo Bag

Celebrate the hobo lifestyle with this elegantly overstated purse. Female drifters around the world sling this stylish bag over their bony shoulder before heading out for an evening on the street. Never mind that it costs more than a month's stay at a homeless shelter: fashion trumps common sense when one needs to stand out amongst the crowd huddled around the tire fire behind the railroad depot.

Magnetic closures magnetically close the cavernous pocket. Zippers unfortunately tend to gunk up when dragged through gutters. Fend off the unwanted advances of social workers and reality TV camera crews while still looking like a million bucks.

Fendi Handbag

Spending almost 3 thousand dollars for a tote bag was never so easy. We salute the purple cows who contributed their skin to make this stylishly stylish hand bag available to anyone with more money than livestock.Your green leather wallet and pink leather iPhone case will feel at home nestled in purple leathery goodness.

It comes complete with handles and a pocket. A closure keeps it closed. We are speechless.

Versace Handbags

We all find ourselves starved for attention now and then. Perhaps you're stranded on a stylish deserted island with nothing but your purse: make sure it's this purse. Start a fire, catch a few lobsters for dinner, and signal passing ships with this purse. Tom Hanks would have been rescued posthaste had he been resourceful enough to cling to his Versace Red Snake Leather Handbag when that plane went down.

Store a few emergency flares in the convenient outside pocket just in case a zombie apocalypse distracts your dinner party guests from gaping at your red snakeskin purse. It could happen.

Ralph Lauren Purple Hand Bag

Have your polo gear immediately at hand and spend a lot of money on a purse at the same time. Ralph Lauren combines the best of both worlds: never spend an exciting day galloping hither and yon across the polo grass without this convenient and fashionable accessory. It's made of purse materials and it has all kinds of cool logos and gewgaws that leave no doubt now much money you spent. Your horse will run harder for you. Sling it over your shoulder so you have both hands free to whack the polo ball while waving to the adoring crowd, which may include Ralph Lauren employees or raving sycophants..

Dolce & Gabbana Handbag

Search no longer for the perfect white leather hand bag costing more than a grilled cheese sandwich and a mortgage payment. Stuff your stuff into the interior pocket included at no extra charge. Zip it closed and dash off to a Labor Day Picinic in The Hamptons or idly browse the aisles at Wal Mart. Everyone you meet will immediately understand just how badly you want to be noticed. You won't have to say a word.

Expensive Purse Conclusion

You can't resist. Buy a purse.

 

Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net / FrameAngel

Updated: 01/11/2013, nicomp
 
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nicomp on 01/11/2013

wizzley spanked me so I edited the titles. I am human and I am writing for humans, evidently humans that don't like long titles.

sheilamarie on 12/16/2012

I'll take one of each. Great ideas for those struggling to lose weight. You could use up your annual grocery budget.

Sheri_Oz on 12/16/2012

This is so much fun to read, but I still think you should make the product images larger.

katiem2 on 12/13/2012

Very nice handbags and purses of the more pricey and upscale variety. :)K

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