What to Write in a Wedding Card for a Gay Couple

People have been writing cards to celebrate a marriage for over a century. But all inspiration appears to go out of the window, when it's something new.

Muslims falter over cards for Christians.  Protestants worry over wedding cards for Catholics.  Atheists hesitate over messages for Sikhs.  Most people would frown a little over a hand-fasting card for a Pagan.

But all of those seem remarkably identical, when faced with something truly new.  As authorities all over the world begin to legalize gay marriage, then the heterosexual configuration in whatever holy or secular venue appears commonplace. 

Now you have same sex couples getting married and that could really cause some pen tops to be chewed in contemplation.

No-one wants to offend.  That's the trouble.  No-one wants to write anything which demonstrates that it feels strange and new to them.  They just want to do what's right by the happy couple.

Want to know what to write on a wedding card (or gift) for same sex couples?  Just what you'd write in a card for a heterosexual couple!

There's really no need to branch out into something different, because they are the same gender.  A quick and easy 'congratulations' will do just fine. 

But if you're really stuck, I have written some wedding day message ideas for gay couples.

• Congratulations on your wedding/civil union/commitment!
• Wishing you all the best for marriage/civil union.
• Congratulations on this very happy day! 
• Wishing you all the best as you embark upon your life journey together.
• All the best throughout your lives together.  I am thrilled to be able to share in your wedding/civil union/commitment ceremony day!
• Thinking of you today and throughout your lives together, as you join in blissful union.
• Congratulations and well done!  I can't think of two people who belong together more.
• I hope that your married life together will always be as perfect as today!
• Congratulations!  And good luck in your future lives together as one.
• Bright blessings and all the best on your wedding/civil union/commitment day!

All of the above are very generic.  You could be writing to complete strangers here, rather than two people whom you know well enough to be at their wedding.

Personally, I think that the best greeting cards are those which couldn't have been sent to anybody else. 

They contain your own words, relating to only this couple. 

They don't have to be two liners. You can fill all of the available space with what amounts to a letter of congratulations.

It may well be that you have never had the opportunity before to really let your feelings be known. Perhaps the couple at the altar have no idea how pleased you are for them; and that you are glad that you are here to witness their union.

The wedding card is the perfect place to be as sentimental and passionate as you wish. Let them know!  They will be reading it while so full of feeling that your gushing will capture the mood very well.

Naturally, this isn't the place to declare undying love for one of them.  They'll be reading it AFTER the ceremony, which is precisely the wrong moment to learn that!  Nor is it a great time to express your displeasure.  That just makes you peevish and frankly not a nice person.

But for positive affirmations, this is your big moment!  Go for it!

You may have the content all planned, written and ready, but what about the honorifics? 

I know a lot of people who like to address their wedding cards to Mr and Mrs *insert surname*, because it may be the first time that the bride, at least, changes her name. 

(Though not necessarily.  Some brides don't; and sometimes the couple both change, as their family names become hyphenated.)

If you really want to run with this for a gay couple's wedding card, then you need to find out first what is happening with their surnames.

If Mr Jones is marrying Mr Brown, then they may decide to both become Mr Jones-Brown. But they may equally opt to stick with the names that they took into the marriage.  Very occasionally, you might find that Mr Brown would rather take on Mr Jones's name, so they become Mr and Mr Jones.

You won't know until you ask!

Alternatively, you could address your gay wedding card to 'The Grooms' or 'The Brides'.  There is no barrier against adding a lovely adjective, like 'To two handsome grooms' or 'To two glorious brides on their wedding day'.

Safest of all is opting for first names, which are highly unlikely to change at the altar.  'Dear Adam and Steve' or 'Dear Adina and Eve' is a perfect way to address a greeting card for a gay or lesbian couple.  Though, obviously, their actual names would be more appropriate!

We don't half like to complicate matters in the human race. 

In states where people, for whatever reason, have resisted allowing two individuals in love to marry outright, then alternative rites have been established.

In some countries, this is the civil union, where a same sex couple may enjoy identical legal rights as their heterosexual neighbors.  But the ceremony itself was secular. 

In other places, the commitment ceremony is tops.  This does look towards the love aspect, rather than turning the marriage into a glorified court judgement.

But what do you write on the card in these situations?  Just the same as you would with a gay marriage.  You merely take out the word 'wedding' and replace it with 'civil union' or 'commitment ceremony'.

Then carry on as normal.

I hope you found some great ideas as to what to write in a wedding card to a gay couple!  And please do pass on our best regards to the happy couple, from everyone here at Wizzley!