What to Write in a Wedding Card for a Gay Couple

by JoHarrington

Do you know what to write on a greeting card for a gay wedding? You would be amazed at how many people don't! But I have some inspiration for you right here.

For some people it's the whole newness of the type of union which throws them.

For others, it's never knowing what to write in ANY wedding card, regardless of who is standing at the altar.

The latter is the key here. A gay couple's wedding card is just the same as any other wedding card. Write what you would, if this was a heterosexual marriage.

However if you are still stumped for ideas, then let me help you out!

How to Write a Wedding Card to a Gay Couple

First you buy or make the greeting card. Then you take a pen and hold it; and you write your message within.

People have been writing cards to celebrate a marriage for over a century. But all inspiration appears to go out of the window, when it's something new.

Muslims falter over cards for Christians.  Protestants worry over wedding cards for Catholics.  Atheists hesitate over messages for Sikhs.  Most people would frown a little over a hand-fasting card for a Pagan.

But all of those seem remarkably identical, when faced with something truly new.  As authorities all over the world begin to legalize gay marriage, then the heterosexual configuration in whatever holy or secular venue appears commonplace. 

Now you have same sex couples getting married and that could really cause some pen tops to be chewed in contemplation.

No-one wants to offend.  That's the trouble.  No-one wants to write anything which demonstrates that it feels strange and new to them.  They just want to do what's right by the happy couple.

Want to know what to write on a wedding card (or gift) for same sex couples?  Just what you'd write in a card for a heterosexual couple!

There's really no need to branch out into something different, because they are the same gender.  A quick and easy 'congratulations' will do just fine. 

But if you're really stuck, I have written some wedding day message ideas for gay couples.

Have you been invited to a wedding with two grooms? Check out these gay marriage cards for men, to find the perfect one to mark their big day.
The wedding is on! Only this time it is two brides who are walking down the aisle. Pick out a celebratory wedding card for a lesbian marriage.

Ideas for What to Write in a Same Sex Wedding Card

Copy one of these, or mix and match to find your own voice. Just remember to delete as appropriate for the actual happy event!
  • Congratulations on your wedding/civil union/commitment!
  • Wishing you all the best for marriage/civil union.
  • Congratulations on this very happy day! 
  • Wishing you all the best as you embark upon your life journey together.
  • All the best throughout your lives together.  I am thrilled to be able to share in your wedding/civil union/commitment ceremony day!
  • Thinking of you today and throughout your lives together, as you join in blissful union.
  • Congratulations and well done!  I can't think of two people who belong together more.
  • I hope that your married life together will always be as perfect as today!
  • Congratulations!  And good luck in your future lives together as one.
  • Bright blessings and all the best on your wedding/civil union/commitment day!
Are you looking for gay wedding gift ideas for two grooms? Check out this selection with presents to match any wallet.
Are you looking for lesbian wedding gift ideas? Check out this collection of perfect marriage gifts for two brides.

What to Say in a Gay Wedding Card

Making this personal would be another gift for the couple. Feel free to tell them, in your own words, just how momentous this occasion appears to you.

All of the above are very generic.  You could be writing to complete strangers here, rather than two people whom you know well enough to be at their wedding.

Personally, I think that the best greeting cards are those which couldn't have been sent to anybody else. 

They contain your own words, relating to only this couple. 

They don't have to be two liners. You can fill all of the available space with what amounts to a letter of congratulations.

It may well be that you have never had the opportunity before to really let your feelings be known. Perhaps the couple at the altar have no idea how pleased you are for them; and that you are glad that you are here to witness their union.

The wedding card is the perfect place to be as sentimental and passionate as you wish. Let them know!  They will be reading it while so full of feeling that your gushing will capture the mood very well.

Naturally, this isn't the place to declare undying love for one of them.  They'll be reading it AFTER the ceremony, which is precisely the wrong moment to learn that!  Nor is it a great time to express your displeasure.  That just makes you peevish and frankly not a nice person.

But for positive affirmations, this is your big moment!  Go for it!

How to Address Gay and Lesbian Greeting Cards

This is the only place where you might want to try something different to a bride and groom wedding card.

You may have the content all planned, written and ready, but what about the honorifics? 

I know a lot of people who like to address their wedding cards to Mr and Mrs *insert surname*, because it may be the first time that the bride, at least, changes her name. 

(Though not necessarily.  Some brides don't; and sometimes the couple both change, as their family names become hyphenated.)

If you really want to run with this for a gay couple's wedding card, then you need to find out first what is happening with their surnames.

If Mr Jones is marrying Mr Brown, then they may decide to both become Mr Jones-Brown. But they may equally opt to stick with the names that they took into the marriage.  Very occasionally, you might find that Mr Brown would rather take on Mr Jones's name, so they become Mr and Mr Jones.

You won't know until you ask!

Alternatively, you could address your gay wedding card to 'The Grooms' or 'The Brides'.  There is no barrier against adding a lovely adjective, like 'To two handsome grooms' or 'To two glorious brides on their wedding day'.

Safest of all is opting for first names, which are highly unlikely to change at the altar.  'Dear Adam and Steve' or 'Dear Adina and Eve' is a perfect way to address a greeting card for a gay or lesbian couple.  Though, obviously, their actual names would be more appropriate!

What to Write in a Commitment Card to Two Gay Men or Women

It's not merely gay marriage where these messages may be sent. There are commitment ceremonies and civil unions too!

We don't half like to complicate matters in the human race. 

In states where people, for whatever reason, have resisted allowing two individuals in love to marry outright, then alternative rites have been established.

In some countries, this is the civil union, where a same sex couple may enjoy identical legal rights as their heterosexual neighbors.  But the ceremony itself was secular. 

In other places, the commitment ceremony is tops.  This does look towards the love aspect, rather than turning the marriage into a glorified court judgement.

But what do you write on the card in these situations?  Just the same as you would with a gay marriage.  You merely take out the word 'wedding' and replace it with 'civil union' or 'commitment ceremony'.

Then carry on as normal.

I hope you found some great ideas as to what to write in a wedding card to a gay couple!  And please do pass on our best regards to the happy couple, from everyone here at Wizzley!

More Gay Marriage Articles on Wizzley

The question has been popped. Rings are on fingers. The big day is planned. Now all you need are the guests! Find beautiful gay and lesbian wedding invitations here.
Whether you're looking for a soundtrack to play at your gay wedding reception, or a tune for your commitment ceremony, find inspiration here with music for same-sex weddings.
The question has been popped. The date has been set. Now all that remains is to arrange the best day of your lives! Wedding planners for gay couples might help out here.
Are you looking for gay wedding gift ideas for two grooms? Check out this selection with presents to match any wallet.
Updated: 05/14/2014, JoHarrington
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JoHarrington on 10/14/2012

You are very welcome. I'm glad that it was useful. :)

JoHarrington on 10/09/2012

Thank you very much. It seems that a lot of people are.

Kate on 10/09/2012

Some good suggestions to help people out who are out of their usual comfort zone

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